Soothing Sunday

Woke up feeling much more rested than in recent memory. The morning passed with ease and no haste at all. Rather odd. Didn't speak (voicewise) with a single soul save my Pretty Boy Dog who was loving having his mistress to himself. Spoiled thing.

Finally watched Down with Love with Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor. It was cute and fun, shades reminiscent of Doris Day and Rock Hudson films. I followed it with an old classic with a very beautiful James Spader and always good Susan Sarandon in White Palace. It is great to see a film you enjoyed the first time be enjoyable over 17 years later. It is no Oscar contender and must be taken in the context of the era.

Spent a portion of the late afternoon and early evening collaborating with some creative writing. Other people can give you an interesting perspective, but I guess our experiences in life is what makes what we bring to the creative table unique. My mind has been a bit stale lately. A few of my recent posts have been fledgling efforts in starting my creative mojo flowing again. As I've recently learned, The beginning can be found at any point! Not sweating it out too much right now, but will keep trying.

Had delicious Chinese food leftovers and still have some for lunch tomorrow. Made some more jasmine rice to go with it. The aroma just sends me into a headspace where I feel deeply comforted. The comfort was distorted later by watching the animated episodes of The Family Guy and American Dad. Demented humor. It will get me ready for the demented humor at work tomorrow. Come to think of it...maybe it is just demented at work.

Soothing Sunday

Stoplight Vignettes

These are the kinds of things that enter my head at stoplights. It's a little fun. This was on the way to pick up some Chinese take-away this evening:

Jake wished the damned beeping would stop or it would give him away when they got closer. One of his battery packs ran out when he rerouted it to juice his CA (communications apparatus) that had mysteriously shorted out. He needed to run to the caves where he might find crystals protruding from the walls he could fashion it crudely and put inside the battery packs. Breathing at the moment felt like breathing fire after hours of running in the dense tropical forest. The constant cool rain wasn't helping matters either. The chill was seeping in him and the slippery forest floor was making his ascent up this hill treacherous.

God what he would give for some of his wife's cooking. He laughed at the irony. Grace had told him to eat something before he flew out this morning, but didn't want to hurt her feelings. She had made one of the many things he disliked. As lovely as she was, she was a bad cook. Right now with adrenaline pumping through his tired, chilled and hungry body, all he could think about how delicious her bad cooking would taste right now. Jake promised himself he would ask for second and third helpings the next time he saw her.

Hoisting his long trunk-like legs over a thick tree branch was his last obstacle that he could see before making it to the mouth of the cave. He recognized the faint pink glow inside. For once, the gods were really smiling on him. Black steel boots stomped through the rain puddles. Jake felt the faint warmth emanating from the entrance. The crystals were strong and hadn't been harvested yet from this side of the mountain! Glancing at his watch, it read 16:21. He could stay here for a bit but no more than 22:00, his rendezvous time on the other side of the mountain was set at 23:30.

Jake entered the cave and had to walk about six yards in to get to the crystals. Pushing his dark blond hair that was plastered to his face, he focused on the task at hand. His shiny black uniform was reflecting the pink glow. Working quickly and wheezing in warmer air, he took out the TinyFuel from one of his weapons and set it aside on the cave floor so he could use the disarmed weapon to pry a couple of pink crystals from the walls. Damn, these buggers were not coming out easily. His hands were too wet and his uniform completely soaked inside and out to dry them. Honed instincts made him turn his face towards the belly of the cave where a bright pink light was coming fast. His bright jade eyes didn't have time to register what it could be before it engulfed him...

Stoplight Vignettes

Another LQ from a Frenchman

Love Quote of the Day

Love is being stupid together.

-- Paul Valery

...I must secretly have a connection with Frenchmen. Some of the quotes I really enjoy come from them. Perhaps it is their joie de vivre?

Another LQ from a Frenchman

Sarah Smile

Tawny just texted me several moments ago and said that she heard this song and thought of me. I knew what it meant. It was the universe's way of reminding me to smile. Received a call from Kim this morning at 6:56am that she wasn't going to be able to do The Saturday Four. This totally bummed me out since I couldn't go by myself traipsing in the woods. Never sure how many people will be there or if the park rangers are driving around that early not to mention my right knee acting up.



Every once in a while I hear this song in my car and in the oddest places when I am feeling less than the AGOL sparkle. Thank you, Daryl for singing it.

Sarah Smile

Somnambulistic State

All I wanted to do was retreat and cocoon myself somewhere. The universe was not playing the same game. Felt like I was sought out all day by different people which made me want to bury myself somewhere even more. My cube's less than central location was not a deterrent.

I was grateful that it was Friday which meant an end to an exhausting week and a fast-paced month. The past two months have really taken their toll on me and I am hoping it is uphill from now on. I cannot begin to express my desire for sunshine again in my life. This somnambulistic state I have been living in is no longer safe. It's going to take some work....hard work with the dreaded holidays coming up. My anxiety factor is ready to shoot up at a moment's notice. Can February or March get here already? I feel things will be better by then with less chaos, less anticipation and less anxiousness. Who can't get happy with what an early Florida spring brings? This city is more fun then.

A couple of people left chocolate goodies at my desk. One was an anonymous gift and the other was brought on by Bridget from Godiva. This time she brought champagne truffles and that sinful strawberry cheesecake enrobed in Godiva milk chocolate. Everything was heavenly.

Went to lunch with Jeff and Tawny. Gosh, it's felt like ages since I have properly seen them. It has been a week! Tawny and I made our way to Sephora while Jeff meandered around another part of the mall after we scarfed our food down. Tawny spent under $25 on one thing while I spent...nevermind. I was running out of a few things and I bought someone the gift of lipgloss. Too bad she wasn't in today for me to see her face when she received the package. It will be a nice treat for her on Monday. She's not good at picking things out like that for herself and I am. Those previous make-up artist skills do come in handy.

I was forced to wear my sunglasses leaving the garage parking lot. Not exactly thrilled at wearing them because the little feet by the nose give me headache. They look good on, but I am confined to a certain style because of the shape of my nose. (Slightly annoying.) My normal route takes me by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' Stadium, but one of the universities was having a football game there tonight and it was a traffic jam happening already. Took a faster toll road around the airport which had the setting sun right in my eyes. My body was already preparing for cocooning...hibernating...whatever you want to call it. The sunglasses were not helping in that regard.

Got home, took care of Cabal, skipped dinner and sat on the sofa where I fell asleep by 8:30pm. I woke up at 12:15am and went to a proper bed. The dog looked at me as if to say Oh and got up to take his guarding position a few feet away in front of my bed. There. All settled.

Somnambulistic State

Tranquilizers and Morpheus

Accidentally turned off my cell phone before bed last night. This meant there were no alarms to sound off and wake me up. It didn't stop me from opening my eyes and seeing 4:57am on my bedside clock. On time. Thank God for that.

Left over full moon madness was still working its voodoo on the highway this morning. I was delighted to be able to practice my cursing skills in incredible lurid detail. While it felt good, it was a little exhausting. Can't take much more of starting my days like this. It should ease off next week.

I decided that I needed to find a tranquilizing device for my boss. Instead of just instant messaging Bridget and me, he also comes over our cube area to discuss the same thing and/or give us a play by play update on issues. Don't get me wrong. He is a decent man, but he's a spazz. Every time he comes over, I have to acknowledge him. It's like a drive-by update drop that lasts maybe two to five minutes. When he leaves, it takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to get my mindset back on my work. Minutes go by and the cycle starts again with another update.

Lunch was quiet with Lisa worried about my staring into space and being less than my effervescent self. I am tired and still not feeling like myself this week....Tawny stayed home again today, but I think she will be at work tomorrow. Hope so especially when she text messaged me this evening for a lunch date and a possible trip to Sephora (aka AGOL Heaven).

Stayed later at work to get some stuff done and ended up talking to Kathy on the way home and more so after I parked my car at my apartment complex. Haven't been able to catch up with her properly. She is my group's autumn angel and she is definitely in season. Kathy still owes me a pic of her cube pimped out for autumn.

Ate a bit of dinner and watched season premieres of American Office Space and ER. It was pretty intense, but I wasn't engaged in the emergency room stories. It was as if I was watching them through a foggy window. I kept hearing Morpheus' call and he's been whispering to me since before lunch. I may succumb to him earlier tonight. Hypnos will weave his magic first, of course.

Tranquilizers and Morpheus

Good Guy Gibran

"And what is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth. It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house. It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit. It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit, And to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching."

-- Kahlil Gibran


...This man was amazing. His words touch like feathers caressing your skin. They are soft yet can make you very aware of them.

Good Guy Gibran

Full Moon Madness

Why is traffic jam a part of my mornings lately? Was there a free giveaway on licenses obtained from Cracker Jack boxes? Sheesh. Spent the first 45 minutes of my day at work trying to find inner peace and taking the nerd test in the previous post.

Fiscal Year End is a monster. There is so much pressure to get everything in you can, but we're soldiering through it well. My part of it is fuzzy. I feel disconnected from the process, but I know I am part of it. I just have to get through this week, I think. Still not feeling all together well. From a Shallowville point of view, I had great hair day.

Noticed a gift placed on my desk after I got back from my department meeting. It was a very nice notebook and pen set with our company logo on it. Not sure who left it there for me as is sometimes the case. Bridget didn't get one so I decided not to make a big deal out of it. Secretly, I was thinking that my magical desk is the coolest!

Tawny wasn't in again today which was worrying, but I was able to IM with her some during the day. Maybe she will be back at work tomorrow...BTW, Tawny, thanks for taking part in the Nerd Test and in my late afternoon freakishness. I don't care what they say about you. Feel better.

Advised my new boss I was leaving early about five minutes before I left. He didn't mind. I had to hurry home to beat traffic, take care of my Pretty Boy Dog and meet Kim/Kristey/Myrna at the Chinese restaurant near me. It was a great time with the girlies. Satisfied my craving for Mu Shu Pork and hot jasmine tea.

Found out that Kristey can't make it to The Saturday Four, but Kim and I are still on so that is good for the AGOL. Myrna doesn't want to sweat that early let alone get up that early. The ladies praised my new hair color. Good thing because I love it. I picked the color based on how the sample looked in the sunlight. Hot cha-cha.

It wasn't that much of a wacky Full Moon Day, thank goddess. Besides morning traffic and the regular work madness, I suffered some e-mail madness all day. Most of it annoyed me since they came from another department, one floored me and the rest made me smile. I like receiving smiley e-mails. It cracks the controlled veneer hardening from the wackiness at work.

Full Moon Madness

NERD TEST...AGOL in Denial

Thanks to Badgerdaddy for this test...I think. Oh the shame...Kathy, this must be RMB's fault. Damn him to eternal 404's.



Update:
Kathy: Uber Cool High Nerd
Jamie/RMB: High Dork King
Joey: High Dork King
Thomas: Uber Cool Nerd King
Tawny: Kinda Dorky Nerd Queen

NERD TEST...AGOL in Denial

Tuesday is Really Monday

I knew there would be hell to pay when I got back to work after deciding to take the day off at 6am yesterday. Even though I sent my boss a note of being sick (which was true) , I still worked via a few e-mails and answered a phone call from him. That bit wasn't enough to dent what greeted me this morning when I docked and fired up my laptop. Ugh.

It is end of month and end of our fiscal year so things are hopping like a mutha right now. Bridget was busy losing her mind with antics from her boyfriend and mother, the Accounts Payable group and our temp when she was not teasing me with having her boobs wink at me. It sounds more obscene than it is; think flexing chest muscle. She has a very large set of you know whats on her petite body. She does it to jam me up when we are in the middle of stressful moments. She goes for the shock factor which works into sending us into gales of laughter. I think she's getting me back for my own boob shot on Sunday's entry which she thought was hot. Brought her a chicken mixture-filled steamed bun for breakfast as a reward for good behavior yesterday on dealing with others while I was gone.

Tawny was at home sick again for the second day in a row, but this time her husband joined her. Didn't get to IM with her as much as yesterday. Hope she's feeling better soon.

Lunch was mercifully quiet and a small conversation with a good man named John who shared his weekend events with wife and kiddies. I brought a Filipino lunch but I wished for a part of the lunch that Myrna brought me yesterday from one of my favorite restaurants. Am I spoiled or what? Her housewife days are numbered because her new job starts next week. Grateful to have spent a couple of hours with her when I wasn't feeling well. My demented sense of humor comes out when she's around. Laughter is the best medicine they say.

The afternoon was a busy blur. I did get to enjoy rereading a fellow blogger's addition to my poem(?) yesterday in the comment. It was interesting surprise. Writing for me has always been a way to decompress as I am doing now. When I write with purposeful thought as in a poem or short story, it is a time for me to really let my imagination loose and not be so bogged down with factual information. I let it flow and see where it leads. It usually starts with an image in my mind's eye or with a feeling. I do not profess to be a Maya Angelou or Jane Austen, but I feel my role is to express it as vividly as I can so my audience feels or sees exactly what I do. It needn't be a whole story, it can be a brief moment in time.

The best part of the process is getting so lost in the writing that when I reread it later whether it is days, months or years, it is as if it was written by someone other than me. It makes me smile every time. Maybe one day I will write that book my high school creative writing teacher, Mr. Anderson, asked me to send him a copy of when it was published. May I find the words to do so and not let the music die that I know is within me. Staccato, mezzo forte, crescendo, legato, and pianissimo...Can you feel it already?

Tuesday is Really Monday

Autumn Thought

LIKE THE WIND IN AUTUMN'S DUSK
I CHASE THE COLORS
OFF THE TREES
MAKING THEM DANCE
IN THE AIR
IN DIVINE CHOREOGRAPHY.

AMBER, WINE, OCHRE, AND SAGE
FOLLOW ME
UNTIL WINTER GIVES ME KISSES
I CAN HANG BACK
ON THE BRANCHES
LIKE BLUE DIAMOND ORNAMENTS
TWINKLING IN THE FULL MOON.

Autumn Thought

Less Serious...But Fun

Staying home today. Come to find out that Tawny is feeling under the weather and staying home, too. This morning we're either cleaning, logged into work because we are nuts, making coffee, watching news, on the sofa feeling sick or taking this test from my pal Sheila's myspace site:

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Less Serious...But Fun

Autumn Freedom: Beauty in Truth

Happy First Day of Autumn!

Autumn has blared its trumpets signaling its arrival of a new season. It means two things to me. One, it is one of my BFF Kathy's favorite time of the year. She sent me a text at 9am wishing me a Happy First Day of Autumn and I received a card from her in the mail last week to remind me of the occasion. Second, it is the beginning of my own season of beginnings. Being a January baby makes me Winter's Daughter and now starts to set the tone until then. It has always been that way for me. It also brings angst about the upcoming holidays which I abhor. Surprised?

For the first time, I was able to sleep in without alarms and Cabal waking me up. My angels must have warned him not to disturb his mistress. My hips didn't ache from staying in bed too long which is a detriment to sleeping in. I have to walk it out. Maybe it is because I wore my comfortable sneakers all day not my usual goddess gear for work.

By this time of the year, my autumn angst kicks in. My BFFs are on AGOL high alert from now until February 14th, AGOL's day. Last year I was too busy with work, planning parties, starting my blog and starting a new romance (comments section) with a beautiful man which was a big part of December and January. We instant messaged for hours, skyped and sent e-mails even when he vacationed in Japan for Christmas with his brother and sister-in-law. We had a lot of fun with my sending Victoria's Secret-like pics of my boobs and him being able to check them out in private at hotels and his sister-in-law's mother's house like the one below:



I also received e-mails like those below which made the holidays more bearable:

Dec. 29th: Hello you Goddess...I am having a wonderful time in Kyoto. Everything is beautiful here. The smallest opportunity to makes something gorgeous is taken. However this does not mean I have not taken the opportunity to think of you often. One of the times I stood in front of a temple and washed myself in the the smoke of a burning insense stick. There I made a moment for some stillness. And you came into my mind then...(deletion)...I have never met you, but part of me was wishing very strongly that we were snuggled together looking at the snow falling. P xxx

Dec. 31st: hello darling...just a stolen moment to say happy new year! it is fast approaching here in japan. have just eaten the most extensive japanese meal. yum. and now for the drinking! i will think of you at midnight. think of me too when midnight steals over florida. p xxx

Jan. 1st: Hello you goddess... Just been reading your last entry. Your groundhog days are over I hope. I`m certain mine are too. Not long ago I went down to the sea and stood in the chilly pre-dawn light and watched the sun rise into a new day and a new year in the land of the rising sun. I don`t think a man needs more omens than that. I am full of optimism today. Life is good and will get better. Time for a new pattern to emerge I think. I thought of you when the sun rose. It was beautiful and so are you. Have a good year Sarah. You deserve a wonderful one. P xxx

Jan. 3rd: Hello Sarah you lovely. Wednesday here in Japan. I leave on Friday and tomorrow we are going to spend a day on an island somewhere. So this could be my last note before I am back in England. I feel very free in my mind now and this holiday has done me the world of good. My head is very clear and my optimism has returned full force. A part of me is looking forward to returning to my own little home though, and being able to steal upstairs and skype my magical new friend in Florida. But while I type this to you I am looking through a screen at a little Japanese garden complete with rocks and a flowering aloe vera plant. Cats and dogs are milling about, by brother is in the shower, and my sister in law and her mum are in the onsen again. They are absolutely obsessed over hear with sitting in their hot baths. My thoughts turn to sitting in hot baths with someone special... I bet you would look lovely in an onsen. Just holding onto that thought for a moment.... Ah. My god I am going to have to stop eating when I get home. The food here is so delicious and everyone keeps trying to feed me as if I haven`t eaten for weeks. I hope all is well with you. I can`t wait to hear the wonderful warmth of your voice again. And I am mindful that it is your birthday coming up soon too. You must send me an address in meatspace so I can send something to spoil you. You are the sort of woman who deserves very much to be spoilt and pampered sometimes I think. Have a lovely week darling thing. I will speak to you over the weekend. Yours in adoration P xxx

and me receiving Valentine's and me sending Valentines (click to enlarge) to him:



It continued in the year during my UK trip: April and May.

If you think for one moment, he will be horrified at this AGOL intimate sharing, you are utterly and completely mistaken. You don't know MEBFKAY very well. I didn't post other pics, IM conversations or the erotica I've written him and the poems he has sent me. How else will he achieve fame (not notoriety) if people don't talk about him which is his dream? Why do you think I created a Wikipedia entry about him back in March? Have I lost my mind? HELL YEAH! There is beauty in truth.

MEBFKAY has a current love now. I am sure she is nice and lovely. She may not be me; the AGOL brand is not something that can be emulated. Not being egotistic, I know. He is still a beautiful man, but not always an angel. I want the world to know that I am okay with everything. I am not angry with him nor do I feel any kind of hatred towards him. My friends think I have been too kind towards him, but they are not me. They have not met him, got to know him nor see the colors and textures that make him Peter S. Kenny.

There is a Swedish proverb that I hope I am quoting correctly: We show love to the ones that deserve it the least because they are the ones that need it the most. Is there room for reconciliation? I don't know. All I did was click Next Blog in December of last year and got his page and the magic stuff above happened. For now, I have other expectations for the new year. I hope that it will be as exciting as the good part of this year and maybe even more extraordinary. Let's get through autumn first. Be on alert...

Autumn Freedom: Beauty in Truth

Love and Ice Weasels

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come".

- John Harrigan

...Damn this made me laugh hysterically because it is true!

Love and Ice Weasels

Ghost Rider

Arrived at Jeff and Tawny's later than anticipated because of stupidity on my part which I will not elaborate on. Why ruin your image of your AGOL?

Jeff got to work on my car immediately and went to the auto parts store to replace a couple of things. Poor thing was working in the heat and humidity brought on by the afternoon rain. He was such a trooper. When I was not "helping" him, I kept Tawny company before we could go to the store for dinner fixins. We discussed my conversation with my older friend on Happy vs. Extraordinary. She understood him completely: If you make it to happiness, you're okay and you don't miss anything, but if you allow yourself to take the extra effort out of just being content to go on to make your experience richer then you peak at joyful.

My hero of the day was Jeff who fixed whatever the minor thing that was wrong on my car. I just turn it over to make sure it drives. Everything else that is the magic of cars eludes me. Now I am safer driving on the streets (especially at night). Jeff, Damsel in Distress De-Stresser.

We watched Ghost Rider with Nick Cage. It was a fun comic book adaptation to screen. I am not a follower nor a purist on this comic so it was entertaining for me. Several of the lines in this movie were fabulous:

Conversation after Johnny completes a dangerous jump yet crashes at the end of it and survives:
Mack: You should be taking a dirt nap after that rag doll today.
Johnny Blaze: I got lucky.
Mack: I've got a dog named Lucky - he's got one eye and no nuts. Lucky don't cover it.

Gave Tawny and Jeff big hugs for being generally so supportive. Drove home feeling good after hanging out with them. It had been some time for us just to hang out away from work and other people...Went on to check e-mail after taking care of Cabal. My stepmother wrote that my dad was taking an early retirement in November since his office was cutting back on their workforce which was fine with my dad and stepmom. Believe me, Dad has enough activities out of work not to mention his "Honey Do" list. I believe it is a blessing in disguise; he's turning 66 in January and needs to take it easier. Can't wait to get there myself. Just have to wait another 30 years. Egads!

Ghost Rider

Happy vs. Extraordinary

Just about to get ready to go and visit Tawny/Jeff for the afternoon. Jeff is looking at something on my car and will also check out why my new vacuum is making horrendous sounds. Took it (mostly) apart myself and couldn't figure it out.

An older friend talked to me about Happy vs. Extraordinary this morning. He said that in your lifepath your options are arterial, meaning you have multiple paths to get to the similar place that is your destiny. If you choose the Happy path, you can have Happiness; however, if you choose the Extraordinary path, you can have Joy. Contentment yields Happiness and Hunger for More of Life yields Joy.

Will you settle for contentment because you think it is safer? Or will you take a risk and be hungry for more? Do you want to safely inhale oxygen readily available at sea level or are you willing to breathe in more rarefied air in the mountains? One path is not as easy or as difficult as the other. Which path would you open yourself to take?

Happy vs. Extraordinary

Aggravated AGOL

Maintaining control can be elevated to an art form with enough focus. You may have ascertained that this month, my efforts have not been stellar which brings us today where aggravation reigned.

Within 10 minutes of reading my e-mails at work, I was fully aggravated especially when my e-mails were returned undeliverable thanks to my too full mailbox. Moved some e-mails with large attachments to my Personal Folders in Outlook to buy me some room to send several small e-mails. OMG. My boss sends me some files that take it back up within minutes. Can you friggin believe it?!

My cohort Bridget was in rare form, too, but feeling better from yesterday. She was ready to nuke the Accounts Payable department. We split two projects and she got the worse end of the deal, I think. She volunteered. Who am I stop her? She didn't want my project either. If you wanted a compliment from either of us, you would have been directed to this Compliment Link for some love. Just refresh the screen to get a new one.

Tawny almost killed me at lunch because I was so...pleasant. Two more people joined us and got to watch us volley (friendly) barbs back and forth. The others were astounded she would speak to me in such a manner. Believe me, she's earned it. When someone asked a question that was not to my liking, my standard answer would be this question, "Did I mention I was aggravated?" It brought chuckles. I felt bad at my behavior even though they were amused by it and bought each of them each a candy bar from the vending machine. Giggles went around again while we scarfed them down.

My boss announced that he is moving to an office closer to us which is good because his office is the bad juju office. There is some serious funk shui going on there; he is the third occupant in 10 months. If you want to leave the company soon, keep that office. Easy decision no thanks to me. Ha!

Went to the store for Cabal's food and other sundry items on the way home. After dinner and a short playtime with my Pretty Boy Dog, I began laundry starting with towels and then sheets. Tried to work out of my residual aggravation with chores and bleach. First bleach today then ammonia tomorrow. Don't have to explain that piece of chemistry to you.

Not doing The Saturday Four because Kim's daughter is driving in from college to celebrate her 21st birthday with her parents...Oh! One piece of great news. I received an e-mail from one of my closest friends in high school. Not sure what happened and why we were disconnected for so long. Tried searching for Sheila on the many social sites to no avail. I had joined classmates.com years ago, but no one was on there yet so I gave up. I rejoined last night on a whim, saw her name and immediately sent her a note. She is the only person I wanted to really talk to from that part of my life.

It's funny, I have now reconnected with a person from each era of my life so to speak. (Eras because I've moved a lot.) It's wild. All of them together could probably tell stories. Okay, decision made: they will never get to meet each other. Two of them from before my 30s are friends on my myspace account. I found one and another found me there. The Internet gods have been kind. Damn, the buzzer from the dryer just went off. Gotta switch laundry around. How aggravating.

Aggravated AGOL

Undeliverable E-mails: Mailbox Exceeded

Is having 260MB of e-mail capacity at work enough? Apparently not. This doesn't even include three additional Personal Folders I have storing more info and CYA (cover your ass) e-mails when people suddenly don't recall what they've sent you and argue with you on contracts and dollars amounts.

The sad part of this whole thing is I just cleaned my e-mail box out and got it down to 197MB, but through the magic of e-mail, it is bursting again. I receive about four to five dozen e-mails a day with only maybe 1% being actually fun to read.

Undeliverable E-mails: Mailbox Exceeded

Sleepless in Trampa

My insomnia is magnified by stress this week. Last night I took a nap at from 8-9, slept at 1:30a only to wake up no too long after from a dream of touching the sun. It was so vivid, I felt its warmth which scared me awake. Went back to sleep and out of bed at 5:15am. Aren't you lucky you're not me?

Traffic was normal, but my temper still ran warm. It got warmer when I found out that Bridget called in sick. It wasn't that she called in sick because she has every right to do so. It was because I got to buy two days in a row. All I wanted to do was catch up on my own stuff that is on the edge of getting out of control.

My boss left me alone most of the day and he ended up leaving early. That part was great! Everything else was busy. My eyes were glued to both monitors most of the day except when I escaped for lunch and visited Tawny's side of the building. Managed to be congenial all day.

Gave Tawny a ride home in some rain. We had just missed driving through a big storm passing the Bay area. Some trees were down in her neighborhood. Glad we waited a bit. I worried about Cabal who doesn't like storms and hoped he was okay and he was. Was able to walk him without rain.

Heated up a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner. Very unlike me, but didn't mind the pizza tonight. Have to dig into the mango from my aunt's very soon. It is chilling in the fridge next to the papaya. Settled for a bit Haagen Daz mango ice cream with mango chunks instead. My favorite fruit is the mango and eating one requires a focused attention which I don't have at the moment.

Sleepless in Trampa

Eternal Love Quote

"True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."

-- Honore de Balzac


...This gives me the same vibes as listening to the song "Crystal Blue Persuasion".

Eternal Love Quote

Cheesecake and Intuition

Note: This is a long post so I split it up into two sections. You can skip to the last paragraph after the section break. The second section is about a trait of mine and a person from work.

At first, I thought I was hallucinating and that time had slowed down to a crawl on my drive to work, but it was only the traffic jam caused by a vehicle fire on a main artery. What should have taken only 40 minutes became an hour and a half. Called Bridget on the way and told her I was suffering from road rage and to be prepared. We ended up cracking jokes about it which eased the tension before I arrived.

My attempts at catching up on the To Do pile on my desk were shameful. Traffic ruined my mojo...Went to lunch with my team at The Cheesecake Factory where we had a great time when we were not trying to move away from the uncomfortable comments made by my temp. I kept poking Bridget on her thigh under the table every time she said something that made me cringe. We ended up taking our cheesecake desserts to go since we were full as ticks from our lunch.

Our team meeting started an hour after we got back from lunch. Five of us were crammed in my boss' office when food coma started to set in. My boss commented that I was starting to fall asleep so I made Bridget turn the fan on and make it oscillate to get the air moving in the small office. My temp made more comments. At one point, Bridget who was sitting next to me with her legs crossed, kicked her foot on my leg as if her leg got a sudden case of Tourette's. It didn't hurt, but it startled my boss who thought she was on her way to get up. If he only knew.

When I saw Tawny in the afternoon, I thought she had changed clothes midday because I didn't recall her wearing her outfit. We both realized that we hadn't seen each other at all until 3:30pm. A bit of a surreal moment which brought us a chuckle.


AGOL Zone

Okay, I don't talk about this part of me, but let's just say I am more intuitive than most people. Call it a gift or a curse. There are countless stories I could tell especially with precognitive dreams. If I am in tuned with you, I can tell how you are feeling or what may have transpired in your day, etc. without you telling me. (MEBFKAY used to get spooked a bit especially when I told him I knew when he was awake because I would wake up at the same time. Seeing as he's five hours ahead and I don't sleep well, this was a slight issue. Sometimes he would tell me about a bad day at work regarding co-worker situations and I would describe their motivations and then hint at the outcome and have it come true later. I tried not to often because this falls under interfering. He was mostly okay with my gift/curse since his great grandma had it, too.) Talking to the dead? Yes, that is possible if I allow myself. My UK trip almost did me in during castle and church explorations. Jeezus. I had to shut that part of myself if I was able to enjoy the trip. I've read cards for people and held objects to give information among other things. You should see me park in a crowded lot, I will know where a space close to the front will open up. Don't even get me started on while I am on the phone with people. It can be a handy gift except when it comes to myself. Can't get info for myself in the manner I need. Isn't that the way it goes? Sigh.

Why am I telling you all this? Today, I re-approached one of the nicest (yet quiet as a church mouse) lady at work. Two weeks ago I had overstepped my bounds by telling her she needed to wear bright colors and was a brat about it. I was compelled but didn't know why until later when I got home. She's been shrouding herself with this faded out cardigan over her work clothes. I felt like a heel because she countered that she would get a new cardigan, but her budget didn't allow for it. If you know me, you would know that I have it in my head to get her a new one or two because of this compulsion. Now I've talked to this religious woman before about our lives. She admitted that she had been in a long term affair with a married man. She'd been punishing herself ever since by hiding the light I knew was peaking underneath. I've held back as long as I could, but mentioned the reason why today.

I gave her a heartfelt apology for my remark last time, but I told her that I felt she needed to be noticed by someone and in order for that to happen, she needed to come out wearing bright colors the whole time at work and off of work. I went so far as telling her she needed to wear lipgloss or lipcolor if she couldn't afford to buy clothes because someone needed to notice her. I apologized some more. With her kind eyes, she looked at me and said, "I know it pained you in your heart enough to tell me that. How did you know I was making some life changes and part of that was changing how I look?" We discussed this more and my other revelations about her. She looked like a weight had been taken off her shoulders and her face showed joy. Ended up receiving a hug from her because she was thankful for the confirmation on her decision. Sometimes I am the instrument where people get their confirmations on their lives or my words are the nudge they need for something. I don't take this lightly because it happens too often. There is more, but maybe we'll save that for another time when I get brave enough to share again.

It's late and I haven't eaten dinner. I think I'll have a glass of soy milk instead of eating leftovers from lunch at this late hour. May you have the sweetest dreams even if they don't tell you anything. It's great to wake up having sweet dreams.

Cheesecake and Intuition

Sleep at 1am, Up at 5am

I never thought that I would be keeping my high school hours as an adult. That was my M.O. as a high school overachiever. Sleep four hours each night and feed off caffeine and adrenaline all day. Relief was on Saturdays where I would not see daylight until 1pm in the afternoon. Only now I don't get relief on Saturdays. I have metamorphosed into an insomniac (modern term for vampire). A vampire AGOL? :::smiling::: There is just too much material in that.

Ate leftover Chinese food from last night for breakfast at work. Hit the spot, too. Mmmm. People seemed confused with the sesame smell so early in the morning. Heard some people making plans to have Chinese food for lunch thanks to the aroma.

Completed my portion of the user testing on our financial application and added a few more things to it before turning it in. I was grateful that was done so I could dive into my regular job again. Won't be quite a regular day tomorrow. My director is taking our team out to lunch and since I picked out the restaurant, I know we're going to suffer from food coma soon after. Should be fun and nice treat for all of us including my new boss.

Bridget was fidgety, sang songs with some standing dance moves (don't ask) near me and was all around goofy. I appreciated that. She in turn told me I was just as much of a lunatic. Yes, she might have a point. I said might. We have to amuse ourselves in between insanity at work. It's our version of anger management. I've told people that I am the sweet one of our dream team. They are stunned when Bridget corroborates the statement.

Gave Jeff a ride to Bar Louie's while Tawny gave their youngest son a ride home before meeting us and the rest of the gang for happy hour. Ant picked the venue. Ugh. I could see the appeal, but I prefer next door at the Blue Martini. My Sunset Margarita wasn't as good as it should have been, but they sure poured heavy on the tequila. Food and Starbucks helped with that potential driving problem.

Wound down at home by watching House and new series called K*Ville, a show about a cop in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Nothing like drama to get you to sleep...and finishing up your Starbucks coffee. Could this be the reason for insomnia? Nope.

Sleep at 1am, Up at 5am

An LQ from MT

"Love has a hem to her garment that reaches to the very dust. It sweeps the stains from the streets and lanes, and because it can, it must".

-- Mother Teresa


...I hope her hem will hold until it reaches all parts of the world including this AGOL's little sidewalk.

An LQ from MT

AGOL, the New Spice Girl!

Self-portraits are never easy especially when you've given yourself less than 15 minutes to take pictures before leaving for work and hoping for one good shot. Last time I posted pics of me were from May after my UK trip comparing my before and after tan. (Have to rethink the lipstick color with this hair. Hmm.) Red hasn't been my hair color for 10 years! Not good picture day when you feel blah. Good, bad, ugly or indifferent - I promised a picture.

Here I am as the new Spice Girl...Cayenne. Ha!


Walked into work and felt conspicuous with the new hair. Received warm compliments immediately which was great. Didn't have time to bask in them thanks to a pressurized schedule which I was able to manage through somehow.

The biggest waste of my time was facilitating (read babysitting) a training for over a half dozen individuals on new equipment from the Nemesis Vendor sales rep. I am sure he loved it when I corrected him on his obvious faux pas on one of the functions. I only knew the answer thanks to the service tech from last week who explained it to me. He weathered another impromptu training on the other side of the building. He's coming back on Wednesday.

Tried to complete some user testing on our financial application but didn't receive additional information and permissions on time. That is my first task tomorrow when my portion is due...of course. Sometimes I like a little pressure cooker action.

Left work a little early to take care of Cabal before being picked up by Myrna for dinner. (She's been enjoying her role as houswife lately; her blood pressure went down considerably as a result.) We set out to try this new Chinese restaurant up the road from me which was recommended by Kim. Need to test it out first before meeting Kristey there next week with the rest of the gals.

Tonight at dinner Myrna pushed a simply wrapped lavender package across the table to me and apologized that it wasn't wrapped like AGOL gifts. In it contained the dragonfly necklace with the thin black velvet ribbon chain I had admired in the shop where I bought my stepmother's gifts a couple of weeks ago. She said that she knew I had to have it after seeing my face light up when I saw it the first time. I ended up not getting it, but she went back after she dropped me back off at my apartment. What a great friend to have in your life. I am so lucky that I have a trove of them.



Back home to play with Cabal and watch last season's finale of Heroes before next week's season premiere. Ooh, I can't wait. It is one of the few television shows that is exciting to watch...It's almost 11:30pm and I'm starting to feel like Old Spice. I'd better get some Z's...

AGOL, the New Spice Girl!

He Meant Hat?

Love Quote of the Day

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat*.


- Ben Hecht


*..Really? He didn't mean ass? I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying.

He Meant Hat?

Two Families and Kissing Shrimp

This morning was a retake of The Saturday Four, but it almost never was. Kim was really late and caught me on the phone as I was about to leave the parking lot. I waited for her and we hustled two miles in case her migraine came back in full force.

Spent a couple of hours by myself before getting ready to visit my aunt and my cousin Ida. It was the first day styling my hair with the new color and I have to get used to seeing myself with dark brownish red hair. Tried taking pictures, but I wasn't satisfied with them. I apologize, but I will post one or two tomorrow for Tuesday viewing...

My aunt wasn't home when I called her so I called Ida to see if she was ready for me. She had called me yesterday on the way to the salon to ask if I could help with her Internet connection. Like I was the computer whiz. Somehow one of the twins was doing research for a school assignment and they lost Internet connectivity. I think it was their fiber optic connection and a tech was supposed to call back.

Had a quick lunch with them and danced around my cousin's husband's suggestion of meeting this guy. They mean well and I didn't want to hurt their feelings so I told them I wasn't ready to date anyone, but would let them know. I'm not the kind of woman who can jump from one person to the next as quickly as others. Never had someone waiting in the wings either just in case the other wasn't working out. Just not built that way. Guys are better at it than women, I think. They are more machinelike in that sense.

Drove to my aunt's to meet Nan's sister Aunt Wilma and was surprised to see the telltale minivan parked in the front. Inside was gonna be loud with kiddies. I got excited.

Baby Colton was just a pickle today. I took almost a dozen shots and this was the best one.


My aunt with an order of Fresh Lumpia a friend was picking up.


Kristen and Carter harvested some calamondin from Lala's (that's what they call my aunt, their grandmother) tree outside. They were dressed in Chinese style clothing my aunt and uncle bought while they were in Chinatown in Galveston a few weekends ago. There is always plenty of activity at my aunt's house for them and today was no different.

Here they are making Filipino lemonade with Splenda under Lala's supervision. Kristen wanted the coconut (she would later grate using a Filipino grater) in the pic, too.


I couldn't believe they were carrying these shrimp around and making them kiss for this AGOLrazzi. They helped Lala peel them and take the heads off before she made delicious tempura out of them. With both of their grandmothers being Filipino: shrimp happens.


Kristen picked this three-pound mango from Lala's tree outside and Auntie Sarah got to take it home. My precious...


My aunt sent me home with my mango and a papaya from her backyard, too. Little Philippines is located over there. I stayed longer than I wanted because of dinner and today I didn't mind. Even traffic home with some of the road closures didn't bother me either. I drove home in the early evening storm with the radio blasting.

Two Families and Kissing Shrimp

Sarah & Tawny Get Salon Happy

Raced to meet Kim for The Saturday Four, but when I got there and called her, she said she had a migraine and wanted to do it tomorrow instead. It didn't matter to me so I drove off. The extra time gave me room to get some cash for my hair color appointment, fill up the car on gasoline, get some pics printed and go home to get ready before picking up Tawny on the way.

When we arrived, I gave Michelle her AGOL style wrapped gift that contained the pic I posted last Saturday set in a frame so she can display it in the salon. She loved it, thanked me for being sweet and cheering her up. Now Michelle wants me to take a picture of her in a yellow dress (for nefarious reasons) so I will have to do that later.

Michelle was primed for my hair coloring. While she did that, I had Tawny go to the Asian smoothie store and get us some goodies which we enjoyed as our late breakfast. All three of us joked and laughed while Michelle labored over my hair making sure every strand was coated well with product. It turned out quite beautiful and I will post pics on Monday at the latest. It is a softer look and perfect for this AGOL.

Tawny was in desperate need of a cut herself and hadn't been able to find someone to cut her hair that pleased her. I urged her for a consult with Michelle which she took me up on while I changed from my salon smock back to my own clothes. It was only a few minutes. I opened the restroom door and saw Tawny getting her hair washed by Michelle. What the heck? How did that happen so fast? Before I knew it, seven inches had been cut from the back of her head and Michelle got more off around to shape it.

Tawny getting her hair flipped by Michelle. Damn that hair dryer was hot!


We left the salon happier and several dollars lighter. Eek! After three and half hours in the salon, we enjoyed a late lunch at the Asian Bistro. Damn it was good, too! We were a Happy Asian and a Happy Caucasian. Ha! Drove Tawny home where her husband was waiting to take her to Disney in Orlando to see the newly remodeled Haunted House. She texted me that he liked her hair which was really great for her. Hooray. On the other hand, my Pretty Boy Dog greeted me the same, no word at all on the new fabulousness. Hmpf!

Sarah & Tawny Get Salon Happy

Karmic Banks and Faith Tested

This AGOL train is still at full speed. It was busy but manageable. My boss finally volunteered to take a couple of things off my plate which he should be doing anyway. Might have to log in to work from home myself during the weekend. Let's see how motivated I get to try and catch up. Too exhausted to thinking about it now.

I felt guilty for not properly ooh'ing and aah'ing about Lisa's well-deserved new vehicle. I couldn't go see it when she wanted nor could I join her for lunch thanks to my meetings. Her feelings were hurt I could tell, but my hands were tied. Brought her a piece of gourmet chocolate cake as a peace offering when someone's birthday cake in my area was available which cheered her.

Gave Tawny an unexpected ride home. Her weekend plans were shuffled back when her husband had to stay and begin the process of installing a financial application on 14 servers over the weekend. If you're Jeff, you're thorough which means a serious and single focus of getting the job done correctly. Poor Tawny. She's accompanying me tomorrow when I get my hair darkened for the first time in two years. We talked about our karmic banks and when we would be able to cash in our investments which brought expressions of frustration...

Sent Bridget a text message to see if she was behaving at her boyfriend's party that he was giving a friend. She was nervous about every little thing including showing her temper at annoyances that were sure to be present. I reminded her to be gracious and nice and make her boyfriend proud of having her there because it is the right thing to do even when other people are being jackasses. If push comes to shove, the gloves come off, of course. You can't be a chump.

Speaking of being gracious and nice, let's get back to the karmic bank thing Tawny and I were discussing earlier. My nature is to be openly giving and loving, vivacious, kind and generous (to a fault). I try being less, but it doesn't happen. My karmic bank is busting at the seams, but I see no relief in sight. I wonder when a touch of magic will finally be in my life to stay and not just flit in for a spell.

Sometimes I think that great things don't happen to good people. Good things do...just enough to dangle the proverbial carrot to keep their faith up. Seeing countless uncaring people receive the blessings/graces I've been keeping my faith in to receive is deeply disheartening. Why is it so easy for them and they don't even appreciate what they receive?

I've lived in two countries, suffered losses, lived an unusual life and have been loving to most people I've ever met. I don't ask for much, materially anyway, because things are just things. My faith has been severely tested in these 36 years. If this is indeed all that there is, I'd rather leave it. Why not check out of this life and try it again? Maybe I came into this one at the wrong time? I honestly don't know anymore. My once strong faith is paper thin at best lately. It's going to take a Divine Touch and not just a touch of magic to restore my faith in Source and in Life. Perhaps these are just words from an exhausted soul. I am tired. Tired of many things.

Karmic Banks and Faith Tested

Neon Blue Drink

Just when you think it is safe to breathe... The word busy gets tapped on my forehead so much lately, there is a beginning of a permanent indentation. Did I mention being part of a user testing team on a software application? More meetings today, tomorrow and the next week for all kindsa stuff. May I please have my old schedule back sans meetings?

Bridget strikes again... Marching up to my desk in the afternoon, she advises me not to enter the Ladies Room because someone has fully violated the area. I asked, You? Noooo. Okay. (Had to clear that up first, you know.) She said that she was there from drinking too much water earlier, but decided to play game of Tetris on her cell phone for a minute while she was otherwise engaged. She found herself getting to Level 11 in the game and decided to leave when the violation was at its zenith. I asked her if her butt and leg got numb from her gaming position. She confirmed that she had to walk like Quasimodo getting out of the room and then noticed the identity of the offender getting out of the stall. By the time the story was told in its entirety, I was in tears.

The universe always has proper timing for things and I decided to go down the hallway before I packed up and left for the day. I was passing by the elevator vestibule and saw my friend Nikki inside. She IM'ed me earlier and she wasn't in the best mood. I opened the door, said hello and gave her a hug. She thanked me and took the elevator down.

While I was at Happy Hour at the Blue Martini with several of my gang, I received this text from her: Wow u will never know how much that hug meant to me. Again thank u so much 4 being such a positive person in my life *Nikki.

It is incredibly easy for me to be positive for other people. Being positive for myself is quite the opposite. I find it very trying. Sigh.

Tawny's husband Jeff decided to order the lounge bar's namesake drink, The Blue Martini. DJ remarked that it looked like a lava lamp. It totally does!


I can't drink anything made with Blue Curacao because it makes me sick. I teased Jeff that he was drinking Smurf Essence. Everyone had a hilarious drink before topping the time by ordering their favorite java at Starbucks. Got home at a good hour and did not feel too guilty for making the dog wait.

Watched a small portion of TV which was preempted by President Bush's Primetime Speech. I tried to listen, but just couldn't sustain interest. I don't like it when I lose respect for leaders and authority. It means the system has broken down. Can't have that.

It is raining outside as I type. I know I've mentioned before how much I love rain, but I really do. It's nature's way of cleansing and nourishing all living things. I like the sounds made by the rain, too. Might help me sleep better. I have not been doing that new sleeping ritual for a while. Raindrops on roses...

Neon Blue Drink

Stormy Darkness

Blurry of flurry of activity or was that flurry of blurry of activity? Huh? I don't get it either, but you know what I mean. That's how it went, but this time without weird nerve stuff.

Nemesis Vendor sales rep had to suffer through my director, my manager and me while we went up and down both floors so he could itemize things that still needed to be done. How many techs does it take to install the rest? Now we need an additional systems analyst? Good grief. My manager and director roasted him for a while. It was nice. (Evil Kitty in the house...)

Thanks to yesterday and not having my usual list, I had to go back to grocery store for something I missed and needed after work. Rushed home to walk my doggie and beat the fierce storm coming around.

Around 8pm, the thunder was getting so loud, it startled me and drove the dog nuts. I was in the middle of eating some more Flip food when the lights cut out. I cursed for a full minute (at least) then my aunt called me. She asked what was the matter with me. I said, The lights went out, the dog is going crazy, I am trying to finish my meal and you're calling me. She then told me she would make it in a hurry. You know she didn't...Aargh. This 4'10" (and shrinking) of Filipina dynamite will be the death of me, I swear.

Finally, I used my phone's bright display to navigate my way through my apartment trying to light all the tealights around my apartment and adding more around to brighten it. Cabal kept following me and I almost tripped a few times. Just what I needed, tripping over him with candles in my hand. Soon the soft glow of candlelight was everywhere. Anyone looking in would think I just had the table lamps on for ambiance.

I finished my dinner, settled on the sofa and spoke to Angie in Los Angeles for a short bit. My apartment is very cool so I knew the heat would not penetrate the coolness for a long while. Cabal and I sat quietly until I got the urge to take the pictures below. I started out using the flash. Can you imagine seeing that from outside the apartment? Switched the settings to use no flash and produced the pics below.

Candle in one corner of my bedroom.


I love this tealight holder in the bathroom. It glows a lava ring on the counter.


One of three plaques on the ledge from the entrance to the kitchen. It is also one of the characters on my back. I like the shadow play from the tealight.


It's times like these that remind me so much of life in the Philippines as a little girl where we would have brown outs as opposed to black outs because it would only last for a little bit. We always had tapered candles on hand. We would be outside talking to each other or the neighbors and maybe even play cards in the soft glow. The brown outs weren't always during rain storms like this evening. There would almost be a sigh of disappointment when the lights would go back on. It dispelled the intimacy that had been created, revealing real life once more.

I love replaying those memories. Tonight I was able to take a short nap before the lights came back on. For an hour, I was a little island girl again.

Stormy Darkness

Genuinely Lovely

Love Quote of the Day

To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever.

Henry Drummond

-- Gosh, this was genuinely lovely to read. My goal always has been to live an abundant life. Something I consciously decided in high school after a (short-lived) bible study class where one of the topics was living an abundant life. Gotta get back on that track.

Genuinely Lovely

AGOL Under the Weather

Just woke up from a nap and took a turn around blogland reading almost a dozen of my favorites, wondering if other people felt the same unsettling vibe as I did today. It was enough to beg my boss for me to leave early this afternoon. Maybe it is what today represents in the US and around the world? (No, Tawny, not JTall's birthday.)

I arrived later than Bridget and my boss which didn't bother me at first until a bit later when I found out my boss was going to be in a company orientation class all day and I would have to deal with my Nemesis Vendor myself. I luckily avoided them first thing and they ended up being assisted by another group who was expecting equipment from them in a secure area. Goddamn...The debacle these motherfuckers have created and the resulting loss of my own productivity from them trying to fix it have reached their threshold. The whole implementation is almost over and I cannot wait to have a post implementation meeting with this sales rep to go over the unexpected extended timeline. Yeah, it's going to be a beaut.

As the day wore on, exhaustion wore on me. My eyes felt like they were going to fall out of their sockets. My temper had to be reined in, too. These feelings usually don't happen to me. Tawny was out for the day so I couldn't talk to her about it at work. My boss and my lunch buddies remarked on how quiet I was which made them uneasy and earned me a questioning. My nerves were fighting against something. I wish I could explain. When a mysterious nausea and a slight panic started to set in later in the afternoon, my boss agreed to let me go home early.

Spoke to Tawny on the way home who wasn't faring any better (depressed about her daughter leaving for college) and then to Myrna until I arrived at the grocery store. I was able to verbalize part of what I was feeling to them and was reminded by Myrna how much I am loved. That's Myrna -- whatever is going on in your life depressing or silly, she just reminds you that you are loved. It's her blanket expression for everything and it did bring comfort to me...Took care of Cabal and ate a quick dinner before napping on the sofa. Now here we are with a depressing blog entry. Sigh. Hope tomorrow is better. This is not AGOL-like...at all.

AGOL Under the Weather

Monday Translated is Blah

Not enjoying the vibe at work. It feels all jumbled. I also arrived earlier than my boss and Bridget again. Figured Bridget was sore and tired from the roller derby last night. She's not a morning person and I know better than to bug her first thing when she comes in. My boss on the other hand quickly greeted me when he noticed me already working at my desk.

Ate a large steamed bun filled with pork mixture called siopao (pron. Show-Pow), a Filipino treat from my Asian adventures this weekend. Mildly worried about the aroma since most people tend to smell bacon when people eat breakfast at their desks. Tried to focus while I enjoyed each tasty bite.

Spent some time training my boss on our financial application from start to finish. It wasn't important that he memorize each step, just how it flows. Repetition is the mother of skill and he's just going to have to dig in on his own time.

Can't remember much between the training and our late afternoon meeting that Bridget and I were roped into. I realized later that my contributions were significant to the discussions with two Finance Directors on how our business is currently conducted. Thank God it was a high level perspective and not getting it down to 18-digit GL codes. I hate that part. My creative brain starts to go haywire.

Oh, did get a query for happy hour this week from someone who felt he was left off the invite last time even though it was only about getting my old group together two weeks ago. Received positive RSVPs within an hour of sending this week's invite. I should change profession. Not that it hasn't come up before of being an event coordinator. Can't think about that at the moment. Ugh.

Enjoyed more of the tilapia fish, blue crab, Filipino veggies and rice for dinner. Now that is comfort food! Watched some television and had a short nap...Mondays just suck. There is not enough coffee and chocolate to make it good throughout the day, but the Flip food for dinner did the trick of uplifting my mood. Gonna sleep well tonight.

Monday Translated is Blah

Love Q: Madness

When love is not madness, it is not love.

Pedro Calderon de la Barca

I love anything about Spain and would love to visit one day. I'd love to touch the walls of buildings and explore inside the old churches.

Calderon is famous in Spanish Literature and especially for this soliloquy:

What is life? A frenzy.
What is life? An illusion,
A shadow, a fiction,
And the greatest profit is small;
For all of life is a dream,
And dreams are nothing but dreams.

Described in Wikipedia: This soliloquy is to Spanish literature what Hamlet 's "To be or not to be" speech is to English literature.

Love Q: Madness

Shove Me Tender

I'm thinking that trying to sleep in is not working for me at all. It just ends up annoying me and the dog. We're going to have to compromise somewhere along the way.

Started to get ready for the day around 11am and eventually made a run to fill up my gas tank and run errands. Stopped at the store to get some portable folding sports chairs so Tawny and I could sit on the rink. Somehow a crafting tractor beam got me at the last minute and I ended up with foam hearts, foam letters and shapes with adhesive, metallic chenille stems and adhesive pin backs. I created these badges for us to wear in support of Hot Pocket. If I believe in you, I will do most anything to cheer you on and help support you. These little things get everyone focused, too.

My dining room table hasn't seen a craft project in months!


Picked up Tawny at her sister's home. They were watching the Green Bay Packers win over the Philadelphia Eagles. (I avoid watching football myself since I tend to get too involved and lose my voice.) We stopped to have an early dinner at a new burger joint in the neighborhood and were impressed. I'm not big on burgers, but this place is on the Approved List.

Here's Hot Pocket stopping by to see us in the middle of warm-ups. Fishnets, pads and roller skates - what could be sexier?


Holding up two extra badges for her to pass out to her other supporters.


All smiles with Ant and his (saintly wife for being with him) Becca. My - what cute badges!


Funny man Joey from work and his adorable wife Leslie. She's been to these bouts before but I don't think she ever had to wear a stylish badge.


Michelle is rockin' the Viking Hat (as our Viking Queen) and The Badge.


Becca was taking her turn with the Viking Hat.


Captured Hot Pocket and some of the girls warming up around the rink with me yelling "Hot Pocket" at the end as she passes by us.


My gosh. These girls skated, shoved and fell throughout the game. It was a great match to watch -- no powder puffs in this roller derby game. These girls would eat you alive! They have names like Sasha Haughtbitch, Spank Sinatra, Anne Tagonize, Wild Cherri, Mama Trauma, Joan of Ache and our own Hot Pocket. It was indeed very exciting and incredibly entertaining. Our team won 107 points to their 98.

You had to be there for this guy's whole performance during the two breaks. Ladies and gentlemen, a token video of Elvis Wesley.


I'd definitely go again. The girls don't have another home game for a couple of months; they are all away games. (Yawning) I'd better roll into bed myself. Might have to use skates to get around all the work piled at my desk.

Shove Me Tender

Happy Asian Comforts

Giddily anticipated doing The Saturday Four this morning. The weather was cooler and not the steam bath it has been during these walks. Kim met me for a quick version. She slept on her back wrong and I had my hair appointment. More cars were driving around than there were available spaces by the time we made it back. Felt the pressure to vacate; it was a popular destination this morning.

Went home, had a small breakfast and played with Cabal before getting ready for my hair appointment. When I arrived, I told her I wanted my hair darker and she said that she didn't have time today but I could pick out what I wanted. I settled on a Dark Blond Mahogany Brown which my current highlights will still show through but with some red and brown tint. Basically the chestnut lift I am looking for. Even if she had the time, she didn't have enough product. She had one bottle and my hair would take three! I have thick hair and lots of it. Next Saturday I have another appointment with her.

My Korean hairdresser Michelle. Sometime I will tell you the story of her life. If you know of a more mature intellectual gentleman who is single, she's game. She's recently divorced, stands 5'4" on a good day without her high heels, old enough to be my mother, owns her own business, outrageous and amazingly sweet.


Bought some tropical smoothie with mango and boba (large tapioca pearls) right after my hair appointment and called Tawny to see if she and her hubby wanted to go to lunch. She declined since their plans were already set in motion. Set off for getting my nails done instead.

My tour through Asia today led me to my Vietnamese nail technician who, in the middle of doing my hands, cajoled me into getting a spa pedicure. I only agreed since she would be the one doing it. There's something to be said about looking down and seeing your toes cute again with bright deep reddish fuchsia color. While I sat on the spa chair having my feet done, her brother came over and continued working on my hands. I did feel like a goddess. It's been a long time since I've felt that way. We givers tend to forget ourselves since we're too busy making sure everyone is taken care of and having a good time.

The afternoon was beginning to wear and I was famished -- on to the Chinese-owned Asian Store. They had some cooked offerings and I was grateful to not have to cook or settle for a sucky lunch. Bought a whole tilapia fish and cooked blue crab to go with my rice at home. Picked up a few more things before breaking down and driving over to the Philippine Store for some ready made veggies. Felt guilty for not supporting my own Asian people. (I stopped short of going to a German restaurant to complete my cultural heritage.)

My Asian treasures from my adventures today. So deeeelicious! Will be feasting on these the next few days.


Tawny told me that Kathy hadn't been feeling well. Called her to make sure she was okay and she was indeed feeling better. I regaled her with my Asian tour. I think she enjoyed hearing me joyful and giggly. It's been a while and I am determined to sustain it tomorrow.

Being around Asian immigrants made me happy today. It's this invisible camaraderie because you know how life is in your mother country and knowing that no matter how hard life gets here, it is still worth the agony and hard work. Our sense of humor takes over because crying is a waste of time when some things are out of your control. You cope by turning the sad parts into outrageous caricatures which makes you laugh the sadness away and everyone shares in that laughter. From my experience, Asians have the most outrageous sense of humor, usually bordering on the bawdy. It's all good.

Happy Asian Comforts

Thank Goddess

It wasn't motivation that got me to work early. It was my desire to leave earlier. Hey, after a hellishly long short week, priorities change. Very grateful for it ending.

My new boss was off on his own again with tag team meetings with me and Bridget. We took turns spending time with him and answering all his questions. He's going to be okay, I think. This is not why, but he's mentioned possibly hooking us up with choice VIP hockey tickets with locker room access. Yeah...Hockey.

Bridget got her nails done at lunch and had them trimmed much shorter for her roller derby bout this weekend. She doesn't want to scratch any of the gals accidentally nor take the chance of her nails ripping off if she falls incorrectly. She promised a treat for a hard work week when she got back and she delighted me with Godiva chocolates. She got two of each and shared. They were beautiful as well as being decadently delicious! Savored them throughout the afternoon.

Starting from the top clockwise: White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle, Dark Chocolate Key Lime Pie Truffle and Chocolate with Strawberry Cheesecake.


My Nemesis Vendor was no-show for equipment and a no-show personally. I passed the baton to my boss to deal with him. He left the vendor a firm voicemail only to have the bastard call me instead. Lesser of two evils? He made a mistake. I was polite, but curt. We'll see how Monday turns out for him. The Rule: Underpromise, Overdeliver. Not the other way around.

Made sure my peeps at work bought their tickets for Sunday. They all asked me what time I was going to be there and could I call them when I was on my way. It's too easy to fall back on the role of cruise director. Ant asked if he could bring a flask. If you knew him, you would hug his wife when you saw her. Ha!

I am going to be blissfully busy most of tomorrow. Meeting Kim for The Saturday Four, but only for a short, but intense version because I have an early hair appointment. Getting Korean Michelle to trim my hair. It's gotten really long, more than half way down my back, past the end of my tattoo (three one-inch Chinese symbols to the left of my right bra strap a la Matrix) and possibly....a color change if she has time.

Torn with keeping the blond highlights or getting it dark brown again, but with a chestnut lift. It will be an intense conversation over a hair color sample board, I'm sure. If not tomorrow then in another three weeks when I am due for a touch up. Might follow it with getting my nails done since Sunday afternoon won't allow it. Need to stop at the home improvement store, too.

It's going to be an AGOL Weekend. Just because you don't have someone to spoil you currently, doesn't mean you can't spoil yourself. Besides, it's really upkeep. Your AGOL loves being girlie!

Thank Goddess

Crazy Daisies

It's not good to have more work before your tackling backlogged work. This forced me to abandon my new boss most of the day to his own devices. I was available for questions and short meetings, but no one-on-one training. It was too much to ask of me today. His choices were to sink or swim. I threw him some projects he could take over and work on which seemed to make him happy. I'm all about happy.

Took a tired Tawny out to lunch. Poor thing was at work a little after 6am. Her husband had to come in early and continue fixing an application issue from midnight. Both hadn't really gotten any sleep. Jeff went home at lunch to finally get some sleep leaving Tawny to be taken home by her son later.

What are two tired and stressed gals to do? We did not settle and instead treated ourselves to Crazy Buffet where our Asian Fusion dreams came true. My plate had a mix of Korean, Chinese and Japanese dishes. Skipped the sushi and sashimi buffet. I won't eat those unless it is prepared for me minutes before I eat it. The seaweed salad was really tasty and the green tea cake was a nice finish.

My workday ended with work still awaiting my attention. This makes me antsy but there is only so much you can do in a day without a clear head. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. I already know that my morning will be continuing my facilitation of equipment installation left over from yesterday. The vendor is coming back with service technicians and the missing equipment. Oh, joy!

I'm just wilted. I have no smart puns, comedic anecdotes (oh jeezus -- actually typed that as antidote at first!) or fun pics to share. Forgive me? Not waiting for an answer -- PBD wants to be walked right now before he herds me to the bedroom. He even tells me when I should be sleeping. Damn dog.

Crazy Daisies

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANGIE!

Happy 41st Birthday, Angelita!

My cousin, my savior, my best friend and my real sister. Thank you for helping me make it through these last 25 years...Without you, there wouldn't be me in any form. You know that.

I love you more than rice and chocolate!
(most of the time)

Hugs,
Fishie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANGIE!