Sleepless in Trampa

My insomnia is magnified by stress this week. Last night I took a nap at from 8-9, slept at 1:30a only to wake up no too long after from a dream of touching the sun. It was so vivid, I felt its warmth which scared me awake. Went back to sleep and out of bed at 5:15am. Aren't you lucky you're not me?

Traffic was normal, but my temper still ran warm. It got warmer when I found out that Bridget called in sick. It wasn't that she called in sick because she has every right to do so. It was because I got to buy two days in a row. All I wanted to do was catch up on my own stuff that is on the edge of getting out of control.

My boss left me alone most of the day and he ended up leaving early. That part was great! Everything else was busy. My eyes were glued to both monitors most of the day except when I escaped for lunch and visited Tawny's side of the building. Managed to be congenial all day.

Gave Tawny a ride home in some rain. We had just missed driving through a big storm passing the Bay area. Some trees were down in her neighborhood. Glad we waited a bit. I worried about Cabal who doesn't like storms and hoped he was okay and he was. Was able to walk him without rain.

Heated up a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner. Very unlike me, but didn't mind the pizza tonight. Have to dig into the mango from my aunt's very soon. It is chilling in the fridge next to the papaya. Settled for a bit Haagen Daz mango ice cream with mango chunks instead. My favorite fruit is the mango and eating one requires a focused attention which I don't have at the moment.

Sleepless in Trampa

Sleep at 1am, Up at 5am

I never thought that I would be keeping my high school hours as an adult. That was my M.O. as a high school overachiever. Sleep four hours each night and feed off caffeine and adrenaline all day. Relief was on Saturdays where I would not see daylight until 1pm in the afternoon. Only now I don't get relief on Saturdays. I have metamorphosed into an insomniac (modern term for vampire). A vampire AGOL? :::smiling::: There is just too much material in that.

Ate leftover Chinese food from last night for breakfast at work. Hit the spot, too. Mmmm. People seemed confused with the sesame smell so early in the morning. Heard some people making plans to have Chinese food for lunch thanks to the aroma.

Completed my portion of the user testing on our financial application and added a few more things to it before turning it in. I was grateful that was done so I could dive into my regular job again. Won't be quite a regular day tomorrow. My director is taking our team out to lunch and since I picked out the restaurant, I know we're going to suffer from food coma soon after. Should be fun and nice treat for all of us including my new boss.

Bridget was fidgety, sang songs with some standing dance moves (don't ask) near me and was all around goofy. I appreciated that. She in turn told me I was just as much of a lunatic. Yes, she might have a point. I said might. We have to amuse ourselves in between insanity at work. It's our version of anger management. I've told people that I am the sweet one of our dream team. They are stunned when Bridget corroborates the statement.

Gave Jeff a ride to Bar Louie's while Tawny gave their youngest son a ride home before meeting us and the rest of the gang for happy hour. Ant picked the venue. Ugh. I could see the appeal, but I prefer next door at the Blue Martini. My Sunset Margarita wasn't as good as it should have been, but they sure poured heavy on the tequila. Food and Starbucks helped with that potential driving problem.

Wound down at home by watching House and new series called K*Ville, a show about a cop in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Nothing like drama to get you to sleep...and finishing up your Starbucks coffee. Could this be the reason for insomnia? Nope.

Sleep at 1am, Up at 5am

Saturday Morning Wisdom

Being a poor sleeper and moving through the process, the weekends present an emotional challenge and I cannot expect to change my feelings overnight. I work and stay up late on Friday and Saturday evenings until I am queasy from lack of sleep to exhaust myself so that I don't wake up alert, but ready enough to tackle the day until I can mentally prepare myself. A poor way to cope, but it is a method for the time being.

While the dawn said goodbye to the sun, I worked more on my special project that even now I am beginning to question its formation. I forge ahead not quite knowing if it is right. Its completion will speak to me of its fate...

I welcomed The Saturday Four this morning with Kim and Kristey. Kim had asked if we were going to do two miles and I said no and that we would do the whole four miles regardless of the heat and humidity. I needed the release of energy and the time to commune with the forest. Their healing energy was welcomed.

Bought breakfast, got some cash from the ATM and filled up my gas tank. All this done with dissipating exhaustion with my cotton clothes drenched in perspiration. Home to Cabal watching me through the vertical blinds in front of the sliding glass doors. My warden had been waiting for his playtime. I walked with him first before complying.



I watched something on television this morning that reminded me of a quote from Bruce Lee:

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”




Water flows and transforms itself to accommodate what it encounters. Water is soft and allows for things. There is much strength in less resistance. I am trying to be more like water and work around and under the wall I am up against. That wall being me.

Saturday Morning Wisdom

Pesky Vendor

There is no rest for the wicked, er...AGOL. My interim boss had my undivided attention before I had my tea and coffee. Yes, I am a two-fisted drinker. I think he likes the fact I am effervescent and smiley with a can do attitude which was partially forced this morning from lack of valuable morning liquids.

May the purchasing gods save me from pesky vendors! The cute bastard from yesterday has now been demoted to just plain bastard. Little does he know that pushing me does not work, quite the opposite effect. He should have recognized by my overly polite tone that I was not happy and calling me right before lunch, too! It is all about attitude and delivery.

Yeah, he delivered again all right, an e-mail around 3-ish to me and everyone trying to get status. I am sure he liked my reply. Hee. I also called him at 5pm, as promised from earlier phone call, to apprise him of the situation. Why be a pain to your potential client when you're waiting for the ink to be on the contract? I really hate it when vendors behave stupidly as they are salivating for your business. I don't care if they are considered the hotshot of their company. Just makes them ugly to me...

Lunch was fun with the gals. It only got weird at the end when my temp decided that she needed to research getting a Facebook account after three of us discussed having an account. Sigh.

Spent the afternoon yawning. I fell asleep early last night but became wide awake around 2:30am and then forced myself to fall asleep again. It was not restful. Sleep deprivation caught up with me. All the extra coffee I drank in the afternoon just made me do the fast Asian walk down the long hallway several times.

Here's pics of our famous Florida Liquid Sunshine as Tawny and I made it out of building. Very wet and very sunny at the same time.


Gave Tawny a ride home again. I was a zombie on the way. Normally, I am more engaging in a conversation. Tawny doesn't need me to amuse her and I was happy listening while she talked.

The maid had the night off again because she was zombie. She watched The Idiot Box instead and now she is updating her blog before meeting Mr. Sandman for an early date. Let's hope he keeps her out all night. Wink.

Pesky Vendor