Watermill

Laundry and cooking. Sounds like my Filipina maid was here today. Ha.

I get to spend many hours lost in my own thoughts. It wouldn't matter if I am deep in my work or house chores like today. My thoughts or ideas are constantly on a big watermill rolling forward to let the wooden buckets spill ideas only to pick them up and recycle them again in my mind.

As an only child I was used to spending time in my own company and the comfort of being solitary calms me and can, on sporadic occasion, cause anxiety until I examine my feelings or talk to the angels and old spirits that surround me. It doesn't matter to me if you don't believe, it matters that I do.

The past week I lost my muse to write. I was letting the disappointment of losing my places in my cooking classes get to me. My previous and very timely reservations were ignored and tossed aside in favor of the new online self-serve reservation system. Those four classes I signed up for showed the status waiting list instead of confirmed. I know I was the first to reserve those classes with the main coordinator who is visiting the UK at the moment. The chef/owner and his staff assisting him with this didn't handle the transition well. After trying to rectify it gently via e-mails, I decided to let karma take care of it.

On Friday, all the volunteers/cooking assistants were sent a note saying to disregard every note in the past received from coordinators and that the new system would be the (next to) final say. It would appear I wasn't the only one e-mailing. I am glad I wasn't on the other end of those e-mails.

The classes for next month were a mixed bag, but I can handle those. I have since taken my name off two classes for the current month with waiting list status. I couldn't do the one today as it wasn't enough notice. Still no one sent an e-mail with anyone dropping out. C'est la vie.

During my preparation of a favorite Filipino dish of mung beans, I received a call from my fellow Filipina friend Sharon. She was trying a recipe I gave her today and was shopping for the ingredients. I corrected some of her selections and then waited for her to call me much later. When she did, she was distraught that it had not turned out correctly.

It is Sprinkles to the rescue: Rather than have her start over, I coached her by asking what it tasted like. Was it more salty than vinegary? How many laurel/bay leaves did you put in? How much crushed pepper did you use? Well, we were able to salvage it by adding water to tame the strong taste. Next time, she will also be adding the cubed potatoes I encouraged her to get before. Now she can enjoy her dinner.

Not much the rest of the day. I am bracing for the week that may get screwed up with the hurricane approaching. Lovely. Let me run the mill again while I put another load of wash before bed.


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Watermill

Colossal Cake

Getting home late, taking care of dog and dinner for me and winding down enough to tailor a version of my resume for that job at my Mother Ship (Stateside) so I can wind down some more by updating my blog was a tough order this evening. Talking to Angie and Tawny in between made it more difficult to really focus, but I needed their valuable input.

My resume has now been shorn of extra bullet points not pertinent to the job I am applying for and I've made notes for the revisions I will be making in the morning before I get to work. My mind is just too exhausted to be smart about it. Can't they just feel the glow of fabulousness that is AGOL? Must I be herded like a common goddess through this application process? They know not what they do! Karma will soon befall them...like having a bad hair day, bad meal/service at their favorite restaurant or (gasp!) choosing the wrong lip gloss that will make their lips peel. Yup, I will just have to let karma do its work...

Gawd my day was so busy I couldn't see straight. Having browser issues to work in one of my vendors' site was a challenge all day no matter how much assistance I received from the Helpdesk. I even let them virtually possess the AGOL laptop to see what I've been up against. The tech could feel the AGOL glow, I am sure. He knows me and already has the story of some of my freakishness - er, unique charm.

My boss had lunch at his favorite deli with his buddies and brought Bridget, The Temp and me each a piece of the colossal chocolate cake seen below. I told him while he was the bestest, he could have bought one piece and each of us would have had a layer of cake and be just as happy. Mostly. Had a layer after dinner. That was almost too much. I toughed it out.

I added my business card for scaling purposes. Jeezus, that is one big mutha of a slice.


This AGOL needs to go to bed so she can work on stuff in the morning. Tomorrow is another day, my little loves. It will be Friday!
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Colossal Cake

Magic Happens. It Does.

I bought some grits with some bacon for breakfast at the cafe in my work building. As I rounded the corner with my goodies, I saw Tawny and three other coworkers enjoying their meals. One of them shouted, Sarah smile! I missed a step and looked at Tawny whose eyes became large as saucers. We explained that Tawny had texted me on Saturday morning about the very same thing from the Hall and Oates song. He said that Tawny hadn't said anything to him. I told him I knew because of her reaction. I showed him my pearly whites and laughed. The universe was reminding me again...

A quick run down until we get to the next section: I received a notice about an error in an e-mail address. See extra entry today for more of it....Shared a nice lunch with Jeff and Tawny...My boss went home because of one his sons being ill (poor babykins) which made Bridget and me thankful to not be in desperation for tranquilizing devices...Shared gifts in the afternoon with Bridget that I received in the mail. We love cool new stuff and the items cheered us immensely.

The next portion is about magic...
Now I have an older friend and a newer friend who if I shut my eyes and go based upon their stunning similarities of background, names in their lives, age, birthplace, how they express themselves down to the phrases they use, how they approach things, their dream (full-time) job and how they react when things get a little off-kilter, I would swear on a stack of bibles that they are the same person. But as far as the universe is concerned, they are not. (If they were, I wouldn't be too surprised. That's how my quirky life goes and that person better worry about karma paying them a visit very soon. Ha! There is a more-famous-than-AGOL blogger living in Los Angeles who writes just like me. Reading her everyday is surreal. Don't we all have some kind of twin somewhere?) These two individuals are both born artists, let's just say. So why am I surprised that both do not fully believe in magic or the possibilities in fantasy turning into realities? What happened to if there is a will, there is a way?

Finding out someone doesn't believe in real magic is an agonizing revelation for me. It seems that less and less people are believing in magic -- even children! Somewhere adults who no longer believe perpetuate the idea of its nonexistence down to generations. In my darkest moments and there have been many over the years, I believed magic existed. When I was unemployed for seven months several years ago, my rent check cleared by three cents! To me that was magic. The magic that things can happen and possibilities exist in our world. Some things don't have plausible explanations yet and until then it is labeled as magic (or miracles!).

My newer friend said to me today, The greatest part of any fantasy is the reality - the reality creates the fantasy. Holy hell. I thought it was the other way around. I was stunned.

Flight. Medical cures. Television. Radio. Telephone. Limb replacements. Cinematic special effects. Nano technology. Someone had the fantasy of these, the magical belief that they could exist or at least ask What if? Kids do it all the time. Parents sit in surprise at every fantastical idea their child expresses and nod like automatons because they don't see it, but don't want to shatter the moment either. Thinkers/dreamers in previous generations didn't believe how things could happen, but just that it could because they thought it. It may have taken generation or two until technology made them possible. What once was magic, is now reality. In our real moments, we use fantasy and magic to create until reality catches up.

In the 80s movie, Flash Gordon, little orbs (eyes) follow the human aliens around in their visit to an alien planet ruled by the Emperor Ming and watch their every move. Today, the space shuttle has camera orbs that float with the astronauts to capture the astronauts moves, too. Something started as a fantasy somewhere. I doubt DaVinci based his drawings on reality. Stephen Hawking dreamed a man in a wheelchair could fly, too...and he did fulfill his dream of floating weightless on a zero-gravity jet this year!

Humans as a species exist with a divine magical spark within them are the same species that put limits on time, space and even their ideas of love. Those are measured and tested ad nauseum. If you wanted to be conventional about magic, you could say that opportunity meets preparation. What is it that makes less conventional magic turn into reality? Belief. In order for magic to happen, you must believe. It is called having faith. But then again, maybe others are just not prepared.

Magic Happens. It Does.

Karmic Banks and Faith Tested

This AGOL train is still at full speed. It was busy but manageable. My boss finally volunteered to take a couple of things off my plate which he should be doing anyway. Might have to log in to work from home myself during the weekend. Let's see how motivated I get to try and catch up. Too exhausted to thinking about it now.

I felt guilty for not properly ooh'ing and aah'ing about Lisa's well-deserved new vehicle. I couldn't go see it when she wanted nor could I join her for lunch thanks to my meetings. Her feelings were hurt I could tell, but my hands were tied. Brought her a piece of gourmet chocolate cake as a peace offering when someone's birthday cake in my area was available which cheered her.

Gave Tawny an unexpected ride home. Her weekend plans were shuffled back when her husband had to stay and begin the process of installing a financial application on 14 servers over the weekend. If you're Jeff, you're thorough which means a serious and single focus of getting the job done correctly. Poor Tawny. She's accompanying me tomorrow when I get my hair darkened for the first time in two years. We talked about our karmic banks and when we would be able to cash in our investments which brought expressions of frustration...

Sent Bridget a text message to see if she was behaving at her boyfriend's party that he was giving a friend. She was nervous about every little thing including showing her temper at annoyances that were sure to be present. I reminded her to be gracious and nice and make her boyfriend proud of having her there because it is the right thing to do even when other people are being jackasses. If push comes to shove, the gloves come off, of course. You can't be a chump.

Speaking of being gracious and nice, let's get back to the karmic bank thing Tawny and I were discussing earlier. My nature is to be openly giving and loving, vivacious, kind and generous (to a fault). I try being less, but it doesn't happen. My karmic bank is busting at the seams, but I see no relief in sight. I wonder when a touch of magic will finally be in my life to stay and not just flit in for a spell.

Sometimes I think that great things don't happen to good people. Good things do...just enough to dangle the proverbial carrot to keep their faith up. Seeing countless uncaring people receive the blessings/graces I've been keeping my faith in to receive is deeply disheartening. Why is it so easy for them and they don't even appreciate what they receive?

I've lived in two countries, suffered losses, lived an unusual life and have been loving to most people I've ever met. I don't ask for much, materially anyway, because things are just things. My faith has been severely tested in these 36 years. If this is indeed all that there is, I'd rather leave it. Why not check out of this life and try it again? Maybe I came into this one at the wrong time? I honestly don't know anymore. My once strong faith is paper thin at best lately. It's going to take a Divine Touch and not just a touch of magic to restore my faith in Source and in Life. Perhaps these are just words from an exhausted soul. I am tired. Tired of many things.

Karmic Banks and Faith Tested