Corn Dog & Chips

You know your "AGOL-isms" have been successful when they start to influence your friends' decisions and lifestyles. I have the annual privilege of being invited to a long-time friend's Christmas party last night. Her elegant party always has a lot of hot hors d'oeuvres which require attention whether it is cooking, serving and refilling. It gets to be quite the production so she was looking for ways to make it easier on herself. Her neighbor suggested that she serve more cold selections like potato salad and :::queue dramatic music clip::: "potato chips and dip". She was horrified -- all she could think about was my rule on non-sport event food selections: "NO CHIP & DIP". I laughed so hard! Her husband said that he would greet me at the door with a corn dog and a side of chips. I couldn't breathe when I heard that one.

Here's the herstory. Growing up in the Mother Country we had a lot of get-togethers that involved homemade cooked food, barbecue and for the adults, rum libations. I don't ever recall a bowl of chips disgracing the table. The whole cooking thing is so ingrained in me that I can't think of having a party doing it any other way. It says that you care enough about your guests to cook and serve them especially if you are serving a lot of alcohol. You need something to soak up the Guinness, margaritas and your favorite-tinis!

AGOL Entertaining Observations:

1) No Chips & Dip
(Exceptions: Sporting Events or if you are serving tortilla chips with salsa. If you are serving chips, please make sure you get the sturdier chip so it doesn't get lost in the onion dip thus encouraging double-dippers! EW EW EW)

2) Serve Real Food If You Are Serving Alchohol
(See Rule #1...You want your guests to survive the drive home. Can't cook? Get some pre-made food at the deli. I can't believe I am about to type this...I am feeling faint -- you can even buy frozen pizza, heat it and cut it into small pieces for appetizers. AGOL doesn't really like pizza.)

3) Make sure your bathroom paper products are filled or accessible if you run out.
(Gentlemen, we can't shake ours dry like you can so please be considerate. BTW, don't be shaking too long or we'll start to wonder if we should start charging admission.)

4) Evaluate Before You Arrive at a Party
This is really bad, but the truth hurts sometimes. Have some BMA Cookies if you don't like it. Before I go to a party, I evaluate the situation. Questions you must ask yourself: Is the hostess full caucasian? If yes, Strike One. Is the hostess rail thin? If yes, Strike Two. If the answer is yes to both questions...There is NO FOOD at the damn party so you better eat some PBJ before you leave the house! This is 90% proven true -- I have my own committee.

5) Play Lively Music (or any music for that matter)
Okay, smartypants -- I didn't mean polka (although I can appreciate a good polka, right Tawnyia?). I will be playing some Brian Setzer Orchestra and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy this weekend and some totally rad 80s selections.



This was taken a bit back by my great friend Tawnyia after we went grocery shopping to show everyone that I actually bought a bag of chips. Since the buddhas (I have two!) are only known to exist in my home among my circle of friends, it was hard proof. Then she had the nerve to send it around from her phone. What are friends for?

Gosh, there is so many more other -isms, but they fall into the Feng Shui category, more drilled down Cooking Lessons and AGOL General Topic. Those will be forthcoming at a later date. Right now, I have to still go over my holiday gift list and the food & beverage selections for next weekend. It's also time for a late lunch. Party of One. Today's selection, mademoiselle, will either be a choice of PBJ or eggplant parmigiana with a side of pasta...

I guess I better start boiling water for that pasta. Bon Appetit.

Corn Dog & Chips