Ain't No Sunshine

Headlight connector thing did not get switched this morning so I will have to make some kind of arrangement during the week. It drives me crazy when you're motivated to do something and the other half of the universe is not. My motivation for something like this has a very small window. Grrr.

The sound of machines cutting the grass around the complex broke through my zenlike morning. It continued for over an hour. The grass was too wet yesterday morning to be able to cut it properly.

I very much missed doing The Saturday Four this morning with Kimmee. We're definitely on for next Saturday.

My weekends better shape up soon or I will be a puddle of sadness. It is difficult when you've kept a certain schedule for so long and have to get used to something else. What really makes it difficult is that two weekends ago I was walking along following a path and all of a sudden the floor wasn't there on the way. It was that abrupt. No arguments. No mildly heated discussions if you wanted to stretch it to any kind of conflict that would lead up to such a thing.

I wish MEBFKAY would've talked to me more about how he felt and he's the kind of man who can, more so than the rest of his sex. His reasoning still doesn't jive with me and doesn't ring true. I know it is not me and it is his unhappiness within himself that has been driving (and stalling) things in his life. This is something he's been struggling with internally. It would be foolish of anyone to think you can workout that kind of thing for a person, but I know I was willing to do anything to help work through it by providing caring and support with some humour along the way.

I thought we were doing and thinking positive things to make things happen and expanding things in each of our lives. The one thing he really wanted lately, it was so close he could taste its sweetness of possibility, was postponed. I felt his frustration and disappointment, but it wasn't taken away, just postponed.

Honey, I wish you wouldn't have left me standing here with a bag full of gifts to give you. My (spiritual) arms are painfully heavy with them. I try to lessen the burden by shedding tears, but they just keep getting heavier. I cannot feel anger or hatred towards you. At this time, it is impossible. I am not sure if those would help if I could feel them...Would you please tell the dragonflies and send them to lift the burden?

Ain't No Sunshine