Ant stopped by to ask when we would go to Schnitzelhaus again for some German grub. Are you on crack? We’re on diets! You will be messing with our program. Bridget proudly mentioned she was following the South Beach Diet which works for her to which Ant replied that he was following the Clearwater Beach Diet of Hooters Buffalo Wings and Beer. Great... Bridget said we would have to have a cheat day. Great… This goes along with Dan asking me when we’re going out for drinks. I told him two weeks and he said he could be really thirsty by then. Great...weirdo.
Shared with Lisa that I want to try more excursions like kayaking or indoor rock climbing. There were more on the list of outdoor stuff. My conflict: how do I keep my albino/geisha white skin? More rice powder all over? Michael Jackson get-up? SPF 400 at least to keep my albino look? Photo aging is not attractive.
Talked to Tawny tonight before I headed for the gym. She was watching a show on the Travel Channel about the original McDonald’s. Huh? One was a diner. The original McDonald’s was in a diner? No, Sarah, it is original as in unique. Ohhhh… Tawny said, Damn homonyms. We laughed a good while.
I was minutes from heading to Sweatville when Lisa called to give me choices for my upcoming birthday. Both involved helping me towards achieving my new fitness goals. I told her I didn’t want anything for my birthday, but she wouldn’t listen. We agreed on something before I begged off to workout. Gawd. Who woulda thunk it?
As I approached the gym, I could see through the French doors that someone was on my favorite treadmill and he was jogging like a sonofagun. Okay…I adjusted (figuratively speaking) my big girl panties and tried out the recumbent bike. My legs were too long on the current setting which made me pedal like a porcine grasshopper. Aargh. Took a couple of minutes to find the lever to adjust to my trunk legs and pedaled for 10 minutes. This was clearly not my favorite machine. I secretly glared at Fitness Man who was STILL jogging.
Adjusted (figuratively again) my big girl panties, and got on the elliptical machine. Ooh…AGOL likee this machine, but legs were already tired from strange stationary bike. Hung in there for a bit before switching to MY treadmill that was recently vacated by man working out on the bench. Happy again. Oh good God. Now I really had to adjust my big girl panties thanks to my shorts riding up and if Rob called to check if I was working out, I was going to tell him that I was trying to start a fire from my thighs rubbing together...
A Chinese man came in and had to fiddle with the bike. (Snicker) His legs didn’t quite reach the pedals so while I was huffing and puffing on the treadmill, I gave him instructions on how to adjust it. Then he asked how to turn it on. I said he had to pedal first then press Start. Listen my lovelies…this man has been in here before to use MY treadmill. He had to put his big girl panties on, too, and pick a different machine. He was much more fit than me and I was the one giving instructions on how to operate a machine. Oh, the irony.
I made it home in tact and wrote in my portable journal the shame that was my workout in Sweatville. Maybe eating a weird dinner an hour before didn’t help. Hee.
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