Steps and Symbols

The cold wind rushing between the parking garage and the corporate building where my company occupies two suites reflected the chill I am now starting to feel coming into work. The closer my steps get to the building, the more dread I feel of reliving what has come to be Groundhog Day at work. Even my laptop bag's bottom rollers getting caught slightly at the threshold of the automatic doors reflected the hiccups befalling my department. Do I really have to go in?

I am trying to stem the internal panic I am feeling that my partner's last day will be March 9th and my temporary employee's last day will be Monday until we get her back from her surgery which should be in a few weeks. Getting gridlocked by meetings and my boss' seeming need for my "we're in the same boat and we're in this together" support is fraying my usual cool composure. Luckily for me today Yummy was off and he was able to bring levity and warmth to my day via IM...

Tawnyia was still in Atlanta and had finished her class and taken the exam. I was finally able to call her on her cell in the afternoon to bounce some ideas and office news off of her. It made me feel better. Tawnyia has knack of being able to have an objective perspective on things and to see them for what they really are. I really value that in her. Her husband Jeff was just minutes away from meeting her there to spend a weekend alone together exploring the area.

I left the office an hour later than normal; the pressure to perform too ingrained to ignore. Of course, I ended up logging in later at home. A lovely lady named Leslie was able to get my mind off things when I passed by her cube on the way out. She is a Messianic Jew (very very loosely translated as Jews for Jesus).

Every Friday (except today) Leslie wears a kippah (or yarmulke in Yiddish for cloth skullcap) on her head to celebrate the Jewish Sabbath which begins at dusk and later she showed me a set of blue and white tzitzis (tassels or fringes) she wore as a belt around her waist. She also either wears the Star of David or more recently a necklace symbolizing the 12 tribes of Israel. Things relating to Judaica have always been fascinating to me. My respect for her is immense since she wears these outward symbols consciously not only as a custom but as a reminder of her faith. The little Jewess in me loves to hear her explain the symbolism...

By this evening, I had made a big investment as a symbol of my faith in the abundance I have accepted into my life. My faith for this abundance was there from the very beginning, it was only a matter of time in taking the actual step...The Universe has given all of us a buffet of choices that leads to living an abundant life. It is up to us to partake (claim) in what has been offered to us all along and to honor its immeasurable value.

Baruch attah adony eloheinu melech ha’olam, she’hakol nihiyeh b’dvaroh .

Steps and Symbols