Finally...At Last

No more Groundhog Days...On Friday, we had another special dinner at my aunt's with everyone and just had a blast together. Cousin Dave brought the music video game Dance Dance Revolution and I even played it. I had on a better slingshot with support so I could get my groove going.

Today was Angie's last day in Trampa; her LA flight left at 6:40PM. My side gig as her chauffeur ended today until she visits again right after Dave and Michelle's baby is born. We also toasted to A Happy New Year before she left, drinking the delicious Ice Wine my aunt and uncle bought during their recent trip to Canada.

I decided to let Angie's mother (my aunt) accompany her to the airport so they could spend some alone time together with my uncle while I stayed behind to watch Nan. She was no bother since her physical therapist came today. He wore her out so she slept most of the afternoon and early evening. Poor thing...

You know when you've been putting off something you shouldn't? I had that today. My dad left me a voicemail on Christmas evening and he left another this morning. I buckled down and returned his calls before I had my Chinese takeout tonight. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Truth be told: I've had a really good Christmas and didn't want any hiccups.

At 25, I came to the realization that my dad was a toxic parent to me and have dealt with it since. Now at (almost) 36, he's trying to make a better connection with me. How do I tell him he's too late? What is worse is that he and my stepmother have been forcing me to address her as "Mom" by signing their cards, etc. "Mom and Dad" for at least two years now. I've resisted because I've been angry that I was not asked first.

I don't want to lie because it is not my truth. She is not my mom though I do love her in my own way. My aunt has taken the place of my mom and I've even addressed my uncle as dad in the last several years. My uncle feels guilty for not taking me after my mother died. I guess he feels I would've had less pain in my life. I've tried to let him know that people's core values never change -- I am still a kind and loving person, but just have this issue with trust. He does know and understand, but I cannot control his feelings.

(Thinking..)

Wrestled with my innerself just now and I will try to call my stepmother Mom, but it will not have the meaning behind it. Sometimes you have to weigh the pros and cons. They are approaching the latter part of their august years. Would it really kill me? I am letting go of the anger I've felt to make room for something else...something I am opening myself to now, trusting the universe with what is starting to have more meaning to me.

Finally...At Last

Cars, Trolleys, Escalators and Elevators

Ground Hog Day. Again. I got a call from Angie saying that we were meeting her brother's wife Michelle and their kids at a coffee house in the Channelside District located in the heart of downtown Trampa. The call came at around 11:30am; our rendezvous time was to be 1:30pm. Get ready to dance because we are about to do The Hustle, Sarah!

I was showered, dressed, coiffed, powdered, perfumed and in my pink Nike shoes in seemingly record time, but still not enough to make our time especially since I still had to drive to Brandon (30 mins) and pick up Angie to drive to Channelside (20 mins). We got stuck at the Crosstown toll booth since some moron didn't have it together in front of us. I even got a call from nine-year old Kristen who berated her TiTi Sarah for being late. She's too young to be surly. Aargh.

We finally met them after parking where Christ lost his second set of sandals on the fifth level of the parking garage. We then took a very (needed) relaxing ride around the Channelside District, historic Ybor, outskirts of downtown Trampa and back to Channelside. The kids enjoyed the ride since we had a conductor and they got to wave at other trolleys passing by.

An early dinner found us dining on chicken wings and fries at Hooter's Restaurant where the attraction isn't the food, but the scantily clad cleavage of the waitresses. A lot of pretty faces, but no cleavage action...not that I am even remotely interested, just feeling disappointed for the guys who go there for the view. Just as well, people do take their families there as we did.


Channelside View from the Fifth Level Garage

Somehow I got conned into going to a movie since I suddenly found myself taking the escalator to the second level where the theaters were located. I just thought we were taking a trolley ride and having ice cream with the kids. We ended up seeing "Eragon". It was okay...a lot left unsaid in the movie and seemed rushed. It was no "Lord of the Rings", but I did enjoy the actor Jeremy Irons. I've had a crush on him for years. What a voice!

It was dusk when we got out of the movie and we were about to embark on the garage elevator when I caught sight of an old co-worker and friend, Scott, coming out. He was on his way to see a hockey game down the road and was accompanied by a woman I had never seen before whom he hurriedly introduced as his wife. (In the 11 years I've known Scott, this is his fourth wife and he's just shy of 40. I've been there to see him through some of his engagements and divorces. He's just a romantic, I guess.) We gave each other a big hug and he still called me "Sarita". If his wife's reaction was any indication, he probably seemed a little too happy to see me. He told me to call him at the office right before the elevators doors closed.

Chance meetings. What are the odds? My odds are pretty good lately.

Cars, Trolleys, Escalators and Elevators

Pavlov, What's with the Bell?

My co-worker Joey (aka co-conspirator/friend) and I had an interesting IM conversation this morning:

AGOL: sometimes you can get so caught up in all the BS of life
joey: life has BS??
AGOL: the last four years have been that for me..yeah, didn't anyone tell you?
AGOL: you didn't get the memo then
joey: life IS bs
AGOL: you got it
joey: I like how we are all trained rats
joey: growing up we all moved at the sound of bells... how f'ed up is that?
AGOL: that's a good way of putting it...that's why the rest of us hatch plans
AGOL: pavlov...f**cking a$$hole
AGOL: LOL
joey: lol
joey: it's pretty wild if you sit back and think about things like that... all through school you moved at the sound of bells
AGOL: see.. i was a rebel...i asked too many questions like, "what's up with the bell?"
joey: they slowly wean you off the bell so you just know to move when a certain time comes up on the clock

Joey has it all figured out now. He's smarter than most! He's been able to disengage himself from the drone mentality that gets forced fed to the population. As in the "Matrix", Morpheus says, "Free your mind!".

My mind has probably been too free, if you can ask my teachers all through school and some college professors. I like it that way...Off to get ready and have another Groundhog Day of "special dinners". Cousin Dave is having mouth surgery tomorrow so it has to be tonight. I guess I just can't free myself to have a day to myself...Sigh...My family apparently has a special bell for me.

Pavlov, What's with the Bell?

Just a Yo-yo

Christmas is starting to feel like that "Groundhog Day" movie. Every time I turn around, I am either exchanging gifts or having a special meal.

I was late getting to my aunt's house today to exchange gifts with cousin Florida and her family. Truth be told, I wasn't feeling that well. Fatigue and cramping are always a nice combination for the AGOL. I know, I know -- TMI. Get over it.

Florida and her husband left to run some errands. Angie and I would take the twins and their older brother home later. When we arrived at their home, the twins gave us a mini violin concert. I was so impressed! Angie had played the clarinet in school and I had played the flute before learning how to play the alto saxophone. It has been years since we each played an instrument, but we were up to an impromptu violin lesson from the girls. If the initial discordant squawks and piercing sounds were any indication, we needn't quit our day jobs.

Ten minutes later, our bows finally made sounds appropriate for a violin. We began to really enjoy it. We were so surprised at how much easier it seemed than making a proper embouchure on our chosen wind instruments. Trying to hold a saxophone in your mouth while blowing into it can be difficult if you're not used to it. Maybe my bottom lip was just too big. I don't know.

I teased Angie that I was starting to become a "Yo-Yo Ma". She replied, "You're just a yo-yo". Nice cousin. I almost had to kill her...Some sort of freakish string accident perhaps? Sadly for the world, my virtuoso dreams had to be aborted because I was laughing so hard that I couldn't control my posture.

Just a Yo-yo

A Good Day

Waking up with a spring in my step and having the feeling strengthened by reading e-mails from Yummy made for an auspicious Christmas Day. I even drove to Brandon smiling in the face of rain!

My aunt had cooked a big breakfast, a mixture of Filipino and American dishes. What a treat! I always opt for the white rice if served and to my surprise, she made longanisa which is a Filipino sausage heavily laden with garlic and is sweet. Food of the AGOL!

We exchanged gifts and decided to continue later so we wouldn't be late at my cousin Dave's home in South Tampa. When we got there, the kids had already opened the first batch of gifts and were waiting patiently for the bags of loot we brought in. The kids received Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) from their parents which is a dance music video game. It is played by following the arrows that correspond to the music beat of the song chosen. A special floor pad is used to "play" the game. Here's a picture of five-year old Carter demonstrating his prowess during the song "Let's Dance" by David Bowie. It is a little hard to see with the light and the giftwrap carnage around the pad.



The adults also had a turn on the thing, but I declined since I didn't feel like jiggling all over the place and risking two black eyes. It was fun to watch my uncle (63?), cousins Dave (39) and John (37?) play this -- a great laugh was had by all. What a bunch of hams!

We had our late lunch and exchanged gifts. There was a special group gift. Dave's wife, Michelle, gave us each a mini package and told us not to open it. At her direction, we all simultaneously opened to a hint of the actual gift. The hint was a washcloth....a baby washcloth! Dave and Michelle will be expecting their third child around July. We cheered and if you know how much Filipinos love children, you would understand the near hysteria both sets of grandmas exhibited. We used the washcloths to dry our eyes. It was like winning the lottery and to me having a baby would be. A divine soul choosing you to carry its earthly self so it can experience earthly life -- what an honor!

After we calmed down, the group of us made our way back to Brandon to exchange more gifts and just enjoy spending time together. We ended up not making it to cousin Florida's home, but she is dropping the kids off tomorrow at my aunt's while she is at a doctor's appointment. I guess I will not be having a day off from everyone tomorrow...

Cabal was glad to see me when I got home; I was away a little longer than expected. I spent time with him, poor thing. He's content sleeping near me right now while I update you and listen to a CD called, "Paris Under a Groove". I am beat and looking forward to some sleep.

This year the AGOL did receive Peace and Goodwill.

A very special thank you to my Christmas emotional support. You guys rock -- I loved your text messages!

A Good Day

Twas the Night Before Madness

Not a creature was stirring. I know -- my PBD is sleeping soundly next to my feet while I type. It is my third Christmas with him since I rescued him from uncertainty. He's a great creature and I am thankful he is happy with his new home. If he could've, I am sure he would've helped me wrap some last minute gifts I bought today.

I headed to Brandon again this morning and picked up Angie so we could make our way for last minute items. Traffic wasn't bad and God knows how much I enjoy driving in Brandon. The road design hasn't caught up with the population boom so basically it is a cluster f*(@.

Right now with the dog sleeping at my feet, the tree lights giving a warm glow about the living room, orchestra music from the "Casanova" DVD I just watched, and my gift wrapping almost done, I feel a sense of peace. It must be the AGOL Christmas Miracle!

Let's not celebrate too soon though. We must wish for the AGOL Christmas Patience tomorrow. I am going to my aunt's for an early breakfast and gift exchange, followed by everyone making their way back to South Tampa for late brunch and another gift exchange at my cousin Dave's, and then driving to my cousin Florida's home for more gift exchanges. It is quite a Christmas Day triathlon. Somebody better have some Christmas spirits served in tall, really tall glasses. More nog than egg, I always say. And to all a good night!

In Tagalog: Maligayang Pasko Sa Iyong Lahat
In English: Merry Christmas to All of You

Twas the Night Before Madness

Mi Cousin es Su Cousin

"Road Trip! Road Trip!"

I love yelling those words because it's fun to travel that is if I don't get car sick on the way. It is an embarrassing thing if I am not driving; however, it can be alleviated if I can sit shotgun in the front, have eaten a good meal, have enough ventilation or if someone isn't driving like a MF. (Y'all know who you are because I tell you you drive like a mofo.)

Today, my uncle drove my best friend/cousin Angie, Nan, my aunt and me to Port Charlotte to see my cousin Frankie's new home with his groovy wife Brenda and their adorable angels Julia and Olivia. Here's a pic of the house. The landscaping is not set yet, but the house inside is breathtaking and they have a view outside the deck with pool overlooking a nice canal. They chose this location so that they can park their boat nearby.

I must admit I was in danger of getting car sick because I hadn't eaten breakfast and it was almost noon. My seat arrangement ended up behind my uncle and thanks to Angie who packed a bag full of horrible snacks, I oinked the first 20 minutes vacillating from cookies to candy to Cheetos followed by a gulp of cola. I am surprised I didn't actually hurl the rest of the way. Disaster was barely averted...

Brenda is an amazing hostess so we had a delicious time while we visited them. This girl receives AGOL kudos for her efforts. There were "no chips and dip" -- enough said. She even remembered the champagne I liked from her wedding. Believe me this stuff is no Cristal, Dom or even Korbel, but I like it and she always remembers. Add a healthy splash of orange juice and AGOL was in Mimosa Delight.

Among all the groovylicious times we were having, were their two daughters running around like hooligans loose from prison. They opened their gifts from us and just had a blast. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that the younger Olivia greeted me outside with a hug, kiss and "You painted my face!". I was arrested by this baby doll and her big blue eyes. Blink. Blink.

It was all the way back in March and this four-year-old still remembers when I painted all the kids faces at my other cousin's kids' birthday party. All of a sudden I found myself painting fantasy butterflies on their faces. The lady who was designated face painter was late and by the time she got there, she bowed out that she couldn't do the ones I had done. Because Olivia was in my family, she got special treatment that day so I painted bee and flower 'tattoos' all over her arms which was the wrong thing to do. The rest of the kiddies wanted them, too! What are you gonna do?

We left cousin Frankie and Brenda's home a few hours later and drove back the hour and a half in better time than getting there even with a little rain. I left my family at their house and drove myself home to take care of Pretty Boy Dog who was waiting for me patiently...okay, not so patiently. I am sure he had been mentally mapping my trip back inside the apartment.

Mi Cousin es Su Cousin

Flamenco Over Easy

Flamenco music appeals to my soul, jazz music appeals to my heart and disco/belly dancing speaks to my body and for my mind, it is a mixture of those only with foreign lyrics usually in French. This morning it is the unique beat and the fiery flamenco guitar that stirs me. Thanks to a compilation CD by the Gipsy Kings I am able to revel and indulge in their version of it.

It is Yummy's fault. He wrote me words this morning before his plane trip that stirred me...Like a gypsy in camp by firelight, I want to dance and express the music, the history of my current being and the lives before. Castanets are lovingly bound in my hands so they can keep time with my heart as my feet move closer to the fire built by camp followers. They clap their hands to accompany me as they too feel the primordial beat of the music. A trickle of perspiration cascades down my temple and continues meandering down to the space where my heart would be. I continue to dance. Tu eres mi sueño real.

Flamenco Over Easy

A Goddess Made of Jade

Fog and dreary days must be making it from the other side of the Atlantic. Despite the weather, it was a great day spent with my cousin and our respective goddaughters who happen to be twins. We follow the same formula, though not necessarily in the same order: Lunch+Movie(s)+Bookstore+Visit to Grandma/pa's house=Girlie Day Out.

Today, we had a nice lunch at the Brandon Cheddar's. Watching the twins maneuver their lunches is a sport in itself. When I think how I prissy I am when I eat, they take the cake! I wonder where they get it from...We did make it in time to the movie despite having to gas up at the station across the way and then crawling by way of Brandon Mall just to make it across to AMC. Holiday traffic=BAH HUMBUG!!

If you haven't seen "Happy Feet", it is worth the trip. I, too, had my doubts on this being a good animated film, but it was hilarious. Penguins rock! I even got a little vaklempt at parts...such a sap! Of course, no time for dawdling, the piece de resistance was coming up which is always a trip to Border's bookstore.

The last time I took the twins there was for their birthdays in June. It's not that I censored their book choices per se, but I had to encourage them with more lighthearted fare instead of the heavy tomes that kept finding themselves in their arms...a lot of European history and autobiographies which they voraciously read. Nothing against all that, but the time before that they bought several of the same things; they just needed a balance of reading. They are only 14 years old and I would like them to enjoy this time of their lives. By the same age, I was already too jaded. This realization dawned on me as we were in the bookstore. Sigh. I dread the day they find out the real story behind the wizard in Oz. Such sweet girls. I am grateful they haven't lived through my childhood or even their mother's.

No tomes for them this time, one bought an anime Naruto guide and the other bought three rather ghoulish slasher DVDs...Yuck! I do not like films with useless violence to scare their audience, but we rarely say no to the twins since they ask for so little. Their grades in school are phenomenal so the bookstore is a way of rewarding their hard work.

I didn't escape the bookstore empty-handed either, I bought a present for a niece and two new CDs for myself. One was recommended by a music critic on the CBS Sunday Show entitled, "Talk to LaBomb" by Brazilian Girls. It is good for a party and something different for your CD collection. The other was highly praised by my new yummy friend Peter called "Be" by rap artist Common which has a lot of funky beats to groove to when I need it. You were right - Track 6 is great!



In fact, tonight I used that CD as inspiration when I practiced my photography project. Nothing like a good groove to get you going. I am doing a special series on sets of things. I take liberal creative license in putting them together for a really sharp vignette. They are humorous yet it makes the viewer think of life's bigger picture. I'd post them, but they are private for a special Greek patron...

After we all visited Grandma/pa's house for a bit, we took the twins home back to their parents. They are always so thankful, polite, gracious, loving and generous with themselves. It is a joy to be around them. I reminded my cousin on the drive back that we were just like them. She quietly agreed. Maybe I am not so jaded after all. There's still hope.

A Goddess Made of Jade

20 Questions

Shopping can be just absolute dullsville when you don't know what to get the ones you love, especially if they have everything. Yesterday, while walking through the Brandon branch of Linens and Things, my cousin and I came across a cute little game called "20Q". I was suckered in immediately.

This game originated on the internet on the 20Q.net website which is where my cousin first heard of it. The gist of the game is for you to think of something and when you're ready you start the game. It asks you 20 questions to which you reply so the game can arrive at its guess which can be eeriely dead on. My first guess was swimming pool. I was stunned! If it doesn't guess correctly after 20 questions, it asks you five more. If it is still wrong, then it concedes a win for you and teases you back into playing the game. Easy mark.

Wouldn't it be great if you could play this same game with the universe? You would make your wish and it would ask you to make sure that is indeed what you wanted. Hopefully, it would guess correctly what you wished for at that moment. And then just to make sure, if it guessed wrong, it would ask you more to give you a second chance. Of course, if it didn't guess correctly, maybe that is not the wish the universe has for you...or can give you. That part sucks..being wrong...again...and again.

I played this game recently with the universe and it gave me a better answer than I could ever hope for in my little corner of the world. That was the problem. The universe has a bigger wish for me and it involves a much bigger world and perhaps me crossing an ocean. I've crossed an ocean before for a new life 25 years ago leaving loved ones and familiar childhood things so what would be the big deal this time around? No big deal at all if the universe deems it so. Sometimes you have to give up something in order to receive something far better. My tagline used to be Be Wild, Be Happy & Be Free. The universe is far more generous to those who follow it rather than to those who constantly question it. Similar on the 20Q website, your answer could be just one click away.

Update: I told I am no longer to have a tagline. Let it be known and let it be said, "AGOL no longer has tagline and will not have one in the future". Ha!

20 Questions

On Parole from Humbugging

I feel utterly wretched for typing the next line:

I really despise Christmas as a season.

(waiting)

(still waiting)

Whew! I didn't get struck by some supernatural bolt of Christmas judgement. I guess it's okay to express my discontent. My close friends can almost start watching a particular point in the calendar where my gloom sets in. It is usually late September to mid-October. I just get freakish thinking about the season's impending arrival. My throat starts to contrict as if some imaginary boa is squeezing hard enough to keep me alive to witness it all. My intestinal fortitude carries on like a live wire whizzing back and forth on a deserted street while sparks of helpnessness spew forth.

In my (almost) 36 years, I can count on one hand how many memorable Christmases I've experienced. Only one stands out with family and it's not even my immediate own. The rest are with dear friends. What made them stand out was the sense of freedom I felt in the celebration. No pressure...just free-flowing fun and the freedom to express my love to them. Tears are pinpricking my eyes as I type. Please God help me hold them at bay while I finish this damned soul vomiting.

I will say that I am getting better at handling the whole thing. This year is actually the best since 1989. Eons ago, I know. Work with me. It's not easy holding together threads of insanity from a ball of yarn that has many threads sticking out. Each one you pull may be your final undoing. How does it go? Knit one, Purl two...

The most hypocritical way I have found to deal with Christmas is to fight it head on. I now have my yearly handmade ornament exchange the Sunday before Thanksgiving which forces me to decorate like mad and plan an over the top brunch. I really give Martha a run for her money. Yes, dammit, my candles are floating in cranberries in a bit of water! I have a 6-ft artificial tree with 1300 lights, fairy lights in some places which is how I like to think about them. I've had to serve notices to Tampa International Airport so they are sure not to mistake the glow coming from my apartment. Diverted airplanes can be such a handful.

My days have been flying by like loose confetti in a street parade. Only I haven't been paying attention to the floats, the band and the glittering tiara and flowing gown of the parade queen. Oh...no wonder -- the queen is in drag. Another fake.

All is not lost. I did have another holiday party which brought some really great vibe to my place. Maybe I should have one every weekend? It is costly in energy and in the pocket book.

Interestingly enough pixies not elves have been helping my mood along. They've forced me to start feeling alive again. Here I've been trapped in a somnambulistic state of my own casting. My intuitive side is something I try to squelch deep down since I feel things more deeply than most. Little wisps of other people's energy lick my own as I pass them by, trying to tempt me into playing a game I care nothing to engage in. The channels are open more than usual, but I am good with it. Shields up!

I am Winter's Daughter and should be reveling more in the season. It would be easier to attempt if I lived somewhere where the weather wasn't tropical. Maybe turning the air conditioning down lower than 68 degrees might help. I can't wait to see the electric bill! Tampa Electric's favorite customer lives right here.

The gloom is still there, but hiding in the corner while the real me is shining and be a bit more mischievious than normal. That IS the real me -- why do I hide her? I am not ashamed of her, but I do take great pains to protect her from the world. Pixies...that's the answer. I will have to send them an invitation very early next year so Ebeneezer can leave me alone.

Update: Sometimes you just have to express yourself to get things out. I am okay. Y'all know life is not always tinsel, sometimes Rudolph leaves you a warm present. Thank you to the dears who asked about me. Hugs to you!

On Parole from Humbugging

Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing

A week whirled by like a mad dervish. I am a little dizzy from having a cold, working, playing nurse to Nan while my aunt and uncle went out for spell, preparing for my holiday party on Sunday, picking up my cousin from the airport on Sunday morning at 6am and then going home to be hostess goddess. And in the middle of it all, an intoxicating development playing peek-a-boo to drive me out of my senses throughout the week.

I am about to take off from work for a the rest of the month so we will see if I can gain some semblance of order. I know that I am just deluding myself, but a girl can try.

Things I discovered this past week:
1) The peanut butter addition to the Chocolate Fountain offerings is the bomb!
2) I wish for special Scooby Snacks from PK's Corner Market.
3) I am really on crack when it comes to throwing a party -- Who fills their tub full of fiberfill, iridescent shreds and round ornaments to make it look like a bubble bath is pouring forth? It was quite the conversation piece at the party.
4) I am craving a lot of new items from PK's Corner Market; they make pies!
5) Airports are wonderful for people watching and wishful imaginings.
6) I will be sending the proprietor of PK's Corner Market a suggestion on how to improve his selections. He might choke...but he'll thank me for it! (Cue: Chris Isaak's song, "Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing")
7) I'm still Santa's favorite!

Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing

Gesundheit!

The peril of perils has fallen upon AGOL...a cold! Being under the weather has got to be the biggest time waster of the known universe. Not only is it inconvenient, it is annoying!

I told my LA cousin yesterday that I had a cold and she typed in IM, "ACHOO"..."In your case, 'achoo'", referring of course to my sneezes that sound like they come from a muppet. (In the Philippines, I distinctly remember sneezing "ach-ing".) The whole blowing your nose bit is just vile and you all know what a small nose I have! The tissue could whittle it down and I would have to change my name to "Sphinx". I had already been skewered by my cube mates about not sneezing properly. It must be my rebellion from hearing my dad sneeze as a younger AGOL. His sounded like he sneezed a lung everytime it was so loud.

Luckily, I am now almost over the whole sordid ordeal. I can't wait to no longer have medicine head from the OTC pills. On Wednesday, at the tail end of one dose, I had a beer. Needless to say, that was interesting... So no wilted goddess for my party this weekend. The weather also promises to be clear unlike the fog and dreariness going on right now.

I do like dreary days, but only if they are cold so I can enjoy a Baking Day. Perfect weather for regular baking...and "baking" with your honey if you have such a person. I guess I'll be getting that KitchenAid Mixer out. I get turned on as easily with a heavy duty appliance. Speaking of...I wonder if someone will buy me a lifetime gift certificate at the paint mixer at Home Depot for Christmas. Going to sneeze that thought away now.

Gesundheit!

Mad Cow Monday

I laughed the whole hour it took me to drive to work today listening to the Steve Harvey Show which is now syndicated on 95.7FM. He was non-stop comedy and I loved every minute of it. I was slightly exhausted from laughing when I parked on the third floor garage at work. It was a nice diversion instead of feeling the slow creep of road rage on one's person during bumper-to-bumper rush hour.

Luckily, the day continued in the same manner. I teased Bubble Boy about suffering from Mad Cow this week which refers to an expected visit from a female megalomaniacal co-worker...Okay, maybe I exaggerate...a little. She can be nice on a personal basis, but she has a need to control things professionally and she's just been promoted. Maybe she just needs a good appletini? Has anyone offered her one? Maybe some chocolates? Everything is better after chocolate. Even beer, but that is another story.

Lunch proved to be a repeat selection from Friday at downstairs cafe. I had a Reuben again. I just love the complexity of taste from the toasty crunch of rye bread, the saltiness of the corned beef and the tang of the sauerkraut. It was made fresh instead of one of the "specials" of dubious meat floating in equally dubious liquid bath screaming, "Pick me! Pick me!" from behind the glass. Double Ick. Then came the food coma shortly after lunch which had to be fought with mugs of coffee.

Six-ish finally arrived and I left to go home to be a slave to PBD. Before I made it home, I called ahead for Chinese take-out. My eyes were starting to get round again from not eating rice this weekend. I also had to support my people!

My dog was walked, fed and entertained. I got to have egg drop soup, a bit of white rice, a bit of chicken lo mein and a bit of beef & broccoli. I can bring a tasty leftover lunch tomorrow -- no dubious food! Besides my fortune cookies, I received a Chinese calendar scroll with cherubic cartoons. All was good in the world.

Real Fortune Today: It is better to ask some questions than to know all the answers.
Learn Chinese: Bean Sprout (Dou-ya)

Mad Cow Monday

Corn Dog & Chips

You know your "AGOL-isms" have been successful when they start to influence your friends' decisions and lifestyles. I have the annual privilege of being invited to a long-time friend's Christmas party last night. Her elegant party always has a lot of hot hors d'oeuvres which require attention whether it is cooking, serving and refilling. It gets to be quite the production so she was looking for ways to make it easier on herself. Her neighbor suggested that she serve more cold selections like potato salad and :::queue dramatic music clip::: "potato chips and dip". She was horrified -- all she could think about was my rule on non-sport event food selections: "NO CHIP & DIP". I laughed so hard! Her husband said that he would greet me at the door with a corn dog and a side of chips. I couldn't breathe when I heard that one.

Here's the herstory. Growing up in the Mother Country we had a lot of get-togethers that involved homemade cooked food, barbecue and for the adults, rum libations. I don't ever recall a bowl of chips disgracing the table. The whole cooking thing is so ingrained in me that I can't think of having a party doing it any other way. It says that you care enough about your guests to cook and serve them especially if you are serving a lot of alcohol. You need something to soak up the Guinness, margaritas and your favorite-tinis!

AGOL Entertaining Observations:

1) No Chips & Dip
(Exceptions: Sporting Events or if you are serving tortilla chips with salsa. If you are serving chips, please make sure you get the sturdier chip so it doesn't get lost in the onion dip thus encouraging double-dippers! EW EW EW)

2) Serve Real Food If You Are Serving Alchohol
(See Rule #1...You want your guests to survive the drive home. Can't cook? Get some pre-made food at the deli. I can't believe I am about to type this...I am feeling faint -- you can even buy frozen pizza, heat it and cut it into small pieces for appetizers. AGOL doesn't really like pizza.)

3) Make sure your bathroom paper products are filled or accessible if you run out.
(Gentlemen, we can't shake ours dry like you can so please be considerate. BTW, don't be shaking too long or we'll start to wonder if we should start charging admission.)

4) Evaluate Before You Arrive at a Party
This is really bad, but the truth hurts sometimes. Have some BMA Cookies if you don't like it. Before I go to a party, I evaluate the situation. Questions you must ask yourself: Is the hostess full caucasian? If yes, Strike One. Is the hostess rail thin? If yes, Strike Two. If the answer is yes to both questions...There is NO FOOD at the damn party so you better eat some PBJ before you leave the house! This is 90% proven true -- I have my own committee.

5) Play Lively Music (or any music for that matter)
Okay, smartypants -- I didn't mean polka (although I can appreciate a good polka, right Tawnyia?). I will be playing some Brian Setzer Orchestra and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy this weekend and some totally rad 80s selections.



This was taken a bit back by my great friend Tawnyia after we went grocery shopping to show everyone that I actually bought a bag of chips. Since the buddhas (I have two!) are only known to exist in my home among my circle of friends, it was hard proof. Then she had the nerve to send it around from her phone. What are friends for?

Gosh, there is so many more other -isms, but they fall into the Feng Shui category, more drilled down Cooking Lessons and AGOL General Topic. Those will be forthcoming at a later date. Right now, I have to still go over my holiday gift list and the food & beverage selections for next weekend. It's also time for a late lunch. Party of One. Today's selection, mademoiselle, will either be a choice of PBJ or eggplant parmigiana with a side of pasta...

I guess I better start boiling water for that pasta. Bon Appetit.

Corn Dog & Chips

Wishful Thinking

Labels I wish some men have on them...

My candy bar this morning did! I had to re-read it twice. Made me smile.

:::Chiclets Flashing!:::

Wishful Thinking

Scary Meat, Mushrooms & Slimy Onions

Your AGOL is the Hostess with the Mostest! (and that's just my chest - haha) I'm hosting my second Christmas party within a month, but this time it is for my dearest old work buddies. There is a reason why our "circle of trust" is tight. It boils down to our food freakishness of allergies and what is not on the "approved list".

I always want my guests to feel extra special and enjoy my gatherings so I had to ask two if they had any food allergies or foods they couldn't stand. My Wisconsin Waif says something about a possible seafood allergy, but she's not sure until the test results get in soon. Then she mentioned mushrooms and scary meat.

WTF is scary meat? I'm thinking pteradactyl...Then she clarified "no blood, no bones, no dark meat, no gross looking fat or grizzle you know stuff like that and also nothing cute...I have the cute rule". Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then we question the cute rule in our head because I know she didn't mean cute guys and she probably wasn't thinking Koala Kabobs either...I almost died laughing!

Then we get to Bubble Boy who is apparently allergic to life, he more recently found out he is allergic to wheat. We can dig that, AGOL just has to shop better and revise her menu...He'll just have to stay away from my Rhumba Rum Cake and the poundcake by the chocolate fountain.
Can those be made with rice flour? I am just crack waiting to happen...

I have two friends who don't like chewing into cooked onions although they like the taste of onions. It is slimy they tell me. Another one doesn't like mushrooms either. The other item on the "not approved list" are raw tomatoes especially if they are slightly heated. What can you expect from a group of IT peeps? I still love them....lucky them - spoiled brats!

Of course, what you are not reading and is the most important to memorize is the AGOL list of rules for parties. I'll save that for later. Meanwhile, I'm craving some Philly Cheesesteak with the works...

Scary Meat, Mushrooms & Slimy Onions

A Slice of Paparazzi

Mirror, mirror on the wall...along with my AGOL-pink Razr phone. This self-portrait was taken using Gumby-like skills. If you've ever tried to take a nice photo of yourself (not because you really wanted to) in the bathroom, you might get this. The image resolution is quirky from the camera phone, but the pose is not bad, eh?

#2 AGOL Official Photo...See Profile for #1 AGOL Official Photo

It took me a while to maneuver the phone facing me while watching the result in the mirror and trying to "vogue" it for the camera. This was actually taken a month ago -- the only thing different is the blonde highlights are brighter thanks to my amazing and freaky Korean hairdresser, Michelle. This woman tries to pick the same strands she did last time AND she does the whole head, not just the crown! I get a neck ache from scooching down my 5'8" frame down the chair, but it's worth the pain and the three-hour visit.

I just sit in the magic chair and watch myself metamorphose into looking like a cross between a demented anime character and a SETI coordinate thanks to the foil which is probably picking up alien signals. What price beauty? Thank goddess the result is quite fabulous when Michelle is done. Now if we can only work on the booty part...

A Slice of Paparazzi

I Lava My Java

Next to chocolate, coffee is the elixir drink of the gods! I love drinking coffee, eating coffee candy, coffee ice cream and coffee mixed with chocolate for a mucho mocha matrimony. Today, I experienced the Senseo coffee maker.

In 30 seconds, you can have 4 oz. of java and in 60 seconds, you can have one 8 oz. eyeopener or two separate cups filled simultaneously with 4 oz. of romping roast with your honey! It not only makes you foam at the mouth, but it foams in your cup as if you're a barista at that ubiquitous coffee house.

Can you tell I worked years in retail by the stylized Senseo photo?

Thank you to my L.A. cousin for sending me this gift. It came with 18 coffee pods to test its mettle. Now I can buy more flavors and share the sensation...after I get the 'shakes' subsided that is!

I Lava My Java

Pretty Boy Dog 911

Nothing can get your heart racing faster than coming home to an emergency. I did just that tonight when I came home and Cabal didn't come to the door right away. When he finally made his way to me, he was limping and whimpering.

I examined him and the surroundings and surmised that he must've slipped on the rug by the door when he tried to get up earlier. Poor thing! How long ago did it happen? Was he in terrible pain? Did he fracture his leg? One horrible thought raced after the other until a voice of action finally won.

Cabal doesn't like car rides and I needed another person to help me get him still. I called Tawnyia (ever the saint) to help me take him to FVS (Florida Vet Services) for an emergency visit. We were there last year when he had a bladder infection. It is a veterinary teaching hospital with the latest equipment; I knew we would be in great hands.

We checked in and were taken to a waiting/exam room. My boy was restless, but he was good. I was more agitated. Here's a picture of him while we were there waiting for the doctor.

A nurse came in to get the story. AGOL Rule#1 in an emergency: "Stop asking me so many f&*^ing questions!". Yes, I know they need to get a background, but it just gets me going. Luckily, she was nice and didn't work my nerve too much.

The lady vet came in later with a timid intern. This lady totally rocked! She may give my vet a run for his money. She was gentle with my boy, but thorough. The intern had to do her own exam and she worked my nerve. Easy on my boy's leg, will ya? Aargh...

PBD had gone to the vet last week for his annual shots and teeth cleaning. AND THEN...on Tuesday this week, I had to pick up an ointment for his eyes since his allergies were kicking in. And now this trip. The prognosis was mild. He pulled a muscle and has to take some pain management meds.

We got home by 10PM and Tawnyia was able to get home and get some dinner. Cabal got his dinner and was eager to play even after all the excitement. We didn't of course. Crisis averted.

Update: It is Thursday...I came home to Cabal running in a circle while jumping. All I could do was chastise him about the emergency visit the night before. The meds were definitely in full gear. We did play tug with this rope bone, but no chasing or long runs in the apartment. He didn't appreciate it, but I decided to bribe him with a massage instead. You know, it doesn't matter what species, all males can be bribed with a massage. Let's keep that a secret, okay?

Pretty Boy Dog 911

Double-OH My Goddess!

Daniel Craig is definitely the new generation of James Bond. His eyes gleamed like twin bright sapphires amid his uber manliness on screen and the mayhem that surrounded him during the movie "Casino Royale". This film was filled with long action sequences and good old-fashioned grit as opposed to too many gadgets and smarmy double entendres with large-bosomed dumbshells to sell the story. It was double-oh madness!

I've been a fan of the James Bond franchise ever since I can remember even while living in the Philippines as a little girl. There is just something of this spy character that you'd like to join him in his adventure assignments and makes you antipicate his next. It was a very exhilirating way to spend lunchtime today.

You might have guessed that I am in full agreement with this new blond Bond. While he doesn't replace Sean Connery (who can ever?), he does give him a run for his money as top gun, Walther PPK to be exact. George Lazenby got lost in his chin dimple, Roger Moore was better in "The Saint", and I cannot get over Timothy Dalton being in "Flash Gordon".

No, I didn't forget Pierce Brosnan. He just wasn't ready to take on the role while he was playing "Remington Steele" and I loved him in the show. He wasn't fine wine yet...aged to perfection. I joined the world in rabid excitement when he debuted as James Bond in "Goldeneye" and reprised the role three more times, but alas his number was retired much to our surprise -- and his!

Back to Mr. Craig...He was definitely prepared for his role as JB; his pectoral muscles were in full effect, but that's not why (ha!). He played a more complicated Bond seen in the brooding looks that told more than it kept hidden. He was also nicely rough around the edges, a trait befitting a very physical spy and lending him a hand to put his own stamp to the role.

Thank you to the designer Brioni for outfitting James Bond once again with a proper "dinner jacket". It was quite the scorcher moment when Mr. Craig was enrobed in his custom threads. Something about a well-dressed man makes for a gift you'd like to unwrap slowly.

You know I've been in martini heaven lately so watching him order and sip them was almost Seventh Heaven. I prefer mine shaken not stirred. It might "bruise" the vodka, but it sure ups the ante!

Special Disclaimer: No vodka was harmed before, during or after the post...okay, not right after.

Double-OH My Goddess!

We say "Grassy Ass" in the South

Amid my tryptophan haze, I am mulling over my very first "Un-Thanksgiving". This is the first Thanksgiving celebration in my 35 years without any family member (except Pretty Boy Dog, Cabal). It has been a mixture of sadness, relief and maybe a little bit of triumph from the freedom of choice.

One sure fire way to piss off your family or at least confound them is to abstain from attending a holiday gathering. They look at you as if you were an alien and may even call you periodically to see if you have somehow changed your mind. Your dear friends invite you, too, in case it is your family you are trying to get away from.

Sometimes you want to change things and see if it makes a difference. Be a holiday rebel! Yes, it sounds lame, but I double-dog dare you to say "no" to your own families and spend thanksgiving in your own home. It is not easy. Well, dammit I did it! Will I do it again next year? I truly don't know.

I did have turkey, homemade items like stuffing, gravy and sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, steamed broccoli (didn't have greenie-beanie fixins so I improvised), steamed corn, cranberry sauce from a can, and of course -- jasmine rice! For dessert, I had a slice yummy pumpkin pie from Publix topped with a perfect dollop of whipped topping and a side cup of latte. Later, I might have some eggnog with a smidge (ha!) of rum. Needless to say, I have plenty of leftovers.

Cabal even enjoyed some turkey and he may have the rest since I don't really care for it as a leftover even drowned in gravy. He is thankful, I'm sure. I won't say exactly what kind of turkey we had, but suffice it to say, I didn't oven bake my own. I've had this weird thing with cooking a whole turkey. I don't have issue with it already cooked and ready to carve. It's the pre-turkey prep -- it reminds me of cooking a toddler! Isn't that disgusting? Try holding a 20-lb. turkey or carrying it across the kitchen; I can almost lose my dinner thinking about it.

While writing this blog, I got a call from my Filipina cousin testing the waters and to see if I am harboring a sexy man in my apartment. She's thinking it could be the reason why I cut out this year. If I had a sexy man in my apartment, I would've made mashed potatoes and I definitely wouldn't be answering the phone!

In the end, I am thankful today and every day for the big things and for the little things, too. I am thankful for the courage needed to spend thanksgiving my way, Cabal for the company, the food I was able to cook, my family who still love me, my friends who still love me, and for all of them letting me be me.

Salamat, Merci, Danke, Arigato, and with no Southern accent -- Gracias!

We say "Grassy Ass" in the South

Banc d'Karma

I haven't shopped for Christmas gifts yet and I am already tired! The last two weeks have been nuts. It all started with having to tell the payroll lady that the extra $5000 deposited in my checking account was an error. Imagine having to write that e-mail -- I almost cried!

Apparently, in processing their new payroll system that is now in-house and local, they did run into some errors one of which was depositing a rather large comission check into my checking account including my regular payroll. How did I first find out? I checked my ATM receipt from the night before on my way to my hair appointment. At first I thought it was someone else's, but the withdrawal amount was a unique amount so I knew it was mine. I had to wait a few hours until I got back home to check online banking and the extra advice I received in the mail.

It was tempting to not say anything, but only for a few moments, you know how karma works...The e-mail was written, they were thankful and the money was sucked backed out....sigh. It is all for the best and I know I will receive it back...when I don't know. I will post a ginormous update when it does!

While reality was setting in, I wrapped up some stuff at work so I could get ready for the HOE party on Sunday the 19th and for taking Thanksgiving week off. I was doing the Happy Asian Fast Walk...dust followed my feet wherever I went.

Handmade Felt Heart in Dazzling AGOL Tree!

The HOE party was a success thanks to my little divas who attended and the way cool appletinis! I started out using half Absolut Vodka and half Rose's Sour Apple Mix which produced a potent appletini with a smooth finish. One of my divas had the idea to cut it down with a healthy splash of the spiced apple cider I had made and that took it into AGOL heights of appletini ecstasy! This drink will now forever be called the HOE-tini.

All the yummy food was no match for the chocolate fountain surrounded with mini chocolate pretzels, giant marshmallows, squares of pound cake, honey graham sticks to use with marshmallow fluff to drown in the liquid love dripping from the fountain to make S'mores. Even the buttery rum cake got a drenching under the liquid curtain. My divas were way too creative....or happy-happy from the appletinis.

My divas left with AGOL loving vibes and the ornaments they exchanged. I did a heinous thing this year of not having any ornaments completed so I owe them next week. It was almost too much for the AGOL this year: the army of plates & food prep and the decorations. They were okay with it especially after getting to be a part of the whole HOE experience.

A very special thank you goes to my helper and great friend 'Bobwana' for last minute table prep and cooking help. This woman is a saint to put up with the AGOL. I have contributed 1/4 of the points in her karmic bank. Even though she was a peasant in her last life and an AGOL slave (echelons higher than peasant) in this life, she just might get to be a queen in her next life. Long Live Queen Bobwana!

Banc d'Karma

One of These Peeps (Is Not Like The Others)

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
--from Sesame Street, by Joe Raposo and Jon Stone

This song and "Le Freak" by Chic have got to be my theme songs. If you're like me, the universe speaks to you in songs. Endless soundtracks run through my head at any given moment. It can be disconcerting especially when they become messages for the day.

Being a SINK (single income no kids) and thinking about your "upcoming plans" for the holidays just turns the amp on the Sesame Street song. This year I made the break with Thanksgiving so I wouldn't have to hear it repeating all day in between bites trytophan-laden turkey, my requisite rice & gravy and the ever favorite greenie-beanie casserole at some relative's house, usually at my aunt's. Did I mention being left out of conversations because I don't have kids in school or married to a superdad? It all started with a resolve and ended with the dreaded phone call.

On Wednesday, "Yakety Sax" from The Benny Hill Show blasted from my ho-tress pink Razr startling me from staring too long at the red LED lights stating "Now Serving 48" at the deli counter. I was number 52. It was my aunt calling and it was time for a phone call showdown. Four-foot ten inches of Filipino power against my five-foot eight inches of Whitey (my skin). How can one not crumble at the seemingly innocent question of one so...sweet?

Sweet Auntie: "Hi, Sarah Jane. It's your auntie."
Whitey: "Oh, hello. How are you? I am at Publix."
Sweet Auntie: "You are?....What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
Whitey: "I am staying at home." (GULP!)
...and like she didn't hear me.....
Sweet Auntie: "Anyway, we are having dinner at 2:00."
Whitey: "That's nice. Thanks, but I am staying at home."
...now we have scope and crosshairs...
Sweet Auntie: "You are? (interminable silence!) Well....ok, but we're having dinner at 2:00 in case you change your mind."
Whitey: "Thank you. I will keep that in mind."

We said our goodbyes leaving her stunned and me guilty as a scum who kicked a cute puppy. How the hell do families do it? Is there a chalice of guilt passed on from one family to another? (When do I get it, goddammit?!)

The last five years have just really worked my nerve when it comes to holidays. I thought I would have my own family by now and be having my own Thanksgivings, but the universe hasn't been singing my tune. There's always a power play of who's going to get me at their table or tables if I decide to drive from one end of town to the next to do two for the day. We dutiful cousins/nieces hate to disappoint....AARGH!!! Now, don't get me wrong -- I am blessed to have a caring family, but I can't deny how I feel. This year is the year I say "no". I did. It's over.

Sigh. Not quite. Thanksgiving is still 11 days away. Please pass me the chalice with the guiltless gin, rational rum or better yet triumphant tequila.

One of These Peeps (Is Not Like The Others)

Top 7 Reasons Why It's Called "Trampa"

You might notice me referring to Tampa as "Trampa" or Tampa Bay as "Trampa Bay". It is a well-earned moniker thanks to the "trampolinas" that live or come here.

1) "Pirates", the successful porn movie, was partially filmed on HMS Bounty docked at the Pier in St. Petersburg under the guise that it was a PG-13 film. By the time the 'powers that be' found out the real deal through embarrassing rumours, footage and various BS red tape, the booty had definitely been plundered.

2) "Too Pretty to Go to Jail" Debra Lafave taught school in Trampa. Now thanks to her security anklet, she's being homeschooled.

3) Two visiting Panthers cheerleaders got caught in restroom catfight with other patrons because they were busy purring over each other in the stall.

4) We have several helpings of the recommended daily allowance of strip clubs and sex shops. It's a miracle we're in a Red State, but then again sometimes we have more than one Bush in this state. They just fly on in Trampa -- if we're lucky, we might get a Dick, too.

5) A very familial establishment called Hooters was born in Clearwater. I must admit I do like the breaded wings, but the eye-popping atmosphere is wasted on me. Okay, I get comic disbelief.

6) We're forever associated with the hanging chads thanks to past Florida elections when many of us just want a well-hung Chad.

7) Trampolinas rock! Now have some "Bite My Ass" cookies, because we love it y'all!

Top 7 Reasons Why It's Called "Trampa"

No Rewrites, Just Repeats

I feel a river of emotions
each one distinct, looking
for its own path
yet entwining with each
other to forge ahead
as fast as they can go.

I feel helpless as
they course through
me.

Where do I go?

It's temporary this suspension.
I know. I know.
I know I can't help feel
the red rivulets spilling.
My cup runneth over.

There are not enough rags
of hope and compassion
to soak this liquid fire.

Anger is difficult to control
especially when it is a down
and out conflagaration.

Do you stifle it?
Do you start from the bottom?
or do you fight fire with its
own by drowning it?

I can't breathe.
I succumb
only to be rescued by an angel.


Note: Sometimes you just have to get it out (again). This one was from 2000. Our days are not always pretty; we just try to deal with them. Tomorrow is another.

No Rewrites, Just Repeats

Early H.O.E. Gets The Invite

H.O.E. 2006 Invitation

Receiving one of these invitations from me is accepting a mix of thrill, year round anticipation, and some dread. What started as a joke to accessorize my tree with ornaments has turned into quite the mini gala. This is the sixth year I am hosting a H.O.E. (Handmade Ornament Exchange) Party where I invite over a dozen other friends and family to participate in exchanging the same amount of ornaments...mostly handmade. Some have been so paralyzed by trying to outdo the others that they got "artist's block" and had to buy them at the last minute!

The Sunday before Thanksgiving has now been the date to mark on the calendar and this year I am serving Paninis and Christmartinis in addition to the buffet of goodies that has come to be expected every year which include mini quiches, brie with cranberry rum sauce on top, crab wontons & artichoke wontons, Filipino eggrolls (lumpia), rum cake, chocolate ganache cupcakes, etc., etc., etc. Who can live (gasp!) without the glorious creation of a chocolate fountain?!! My girls know to come hungry.

I am humbled and flattered that this event has come to mean so much to my group to both the veterans and the newbies. That is why I have to start decorating inside for Christmas this week. My 6-ft tree with 1200 lights isn't magically delicious just by thinking about it. A lot of cursing goes into that creation. Yes, I have to let Trampa International Airport know about the possible plane diversions because of the bright lights coming from my apartment. Besides, with the constant urban sprawl Santa needs a little help knowing where his AGOL lives! He knows when he's nice, I'll be -- I think you know the rest. HOE! HOE! HOE!

Early H.O.E. Gets The Invite

Fall-La-La Means I Love You

AGOL's Fall Dining Table Decor

Me no love fall long time - only three weeks! Autumn in Trampa can be sporadically felt and seen, but it is by no means as colourful as driving through Wisconsin in October. So indoors we go decorating! I got suckered into going to an open house last month where the candlesticks and the soup tureen seen here were 50% off from last year's stock. Did it stop there? Noooo. AND THEN, I had to go to Pier 1 Outlet and get the last six very shiny pumpkin-colored napkins to drape underneath my fall tableau and the colossal candles which do smell like exotic cloves. AND THEN, I had to get long green glass blobbies to scatter along with real oak leaves (treated to last) as if fall "blew" in. Couldn't you just gag?

AGOL Confession: I am decorating this week for Christmas...more on that tomorrow.

Fall-La-La Means I Love You

Is Q-tip rude?

Welcome to Trampa -- just one of the luxurious suites in God's Waiting Room aka Florida. We have every imaginable kind of elderly: The Blue Hairs, The Q-tips, The Snowbirds, The Slowazz Muthafahkahs on the Road, and the elite 'Retirees' who sometimes cheekily call themselves 'Retarded'.

With the plethora of elderly cliques to choose from, we also have as many types of domiciles. You can pick from The Son's House, The Daughter's House, The Trailer Parks, The Campers, The Timeshares, The Condos, The Dream Homes in Snubville and the very dreaded ghetto of elderly places lovingly called The Nursing Homes.

Of course, I got to visit again one of the lesser known domiciles: The Rehabilitation Center. Let's just call it The Limbo Lodge. That is where Nan lives while we wait for her to recover from her surgeries.

Yesterday's visit was a steep exercise in emotional control. I didn't maintain it nor did I try harder to keep it after I got home. The burden of knowing what the elderly endure is almost as bad the crime of stashing them away so you're not reminded or bothered.

Nan was glad to see me as was her roommate Maxine. I hadn't been the only visitor at the Lodge today. My cousin Dave's recent visit was evidenced by the chocolate shake still sweating on her table. I inquired about her dinner menu, but she couldn't remember. I then turn to Maxine and asked her what dinner was and she replied, "It was liver, but I turned it away". Blecch -- liver!

Here was a freakish moment: Nan mentioned that her husband had died on Sunday and he was buried today. Consequently, her son with the same name did die on Sunday and he was cremated today. (Enter Twilight Zone theme.)

Nan's memory timeline and facial recall kept rearranging itself as we spoke about her childhood Christmases and growing up in her parents home. I didn't correct her on some things. What would be the point? Would it matter 20 years from now? I hope her ignorance IS bliss while we wait to take her home to The Son's House.

Is Q-tip rude?

Saints and the Sinners Who Chase Them

I visited a living saint today. We call her Nan, but her real name is Edna and she is 92 years young. She is currently living in a rehabilitation center (mostly) for the elderly. Surviving her second double-hip surgery in less than six months has taken it's toll on her, but she looked healthier when I came around the corner and saw her sitting in her wheelchair this evening across from her new roommate, Maxine.

Kissing her on top of her white Dr. Suess-like hair, I felt a slight squeeze on my heart. This incredible woman who had raised three good men (one being my uncle) and had been married for 50 plus years to the same man had a cast accessorizing her right arm...Sigh. We also hadn't told her that eldest son had passed on Sunday. It will be a gentle telling by my aunt and uncle after his funeral this week.

Nan has lived a clean life, if you will. She believes in her Lord and abides by his laws. As far as I know, she never drank, smoke or cursed like how we do now. She will also never realize how good she has made me feel about myself thanks to two things she said to me on separate occasions.

Once Nan told me what a sweet voice I had when everyone else just tells me my voice would be good for a phone actress. If you've received three independent e-mails from friends in the same day with a link to such a job opening, you know it to be true. I've been asked in the past to be the voice on a few professional voicemails, too.

Another time, Nan told me what a good nurse I was when I helped take care of her at my aunt and uncle's home. My inner light shined to blind and I felt I was really "good". I didn't think I needed any validation since I've learned how to deflect (or was that numb) myself from negativity. When you've grown up being forcefed other people's inherited poison, you forget your worth until an earth angel gives you a reminder. It was a bittersweet feeling.

I've realized as an adult that other people's damage needn't be mine even when the scars have already healed over to remind me of what I have endured. Each of us can make a choice to change ourselves and improve our karmic bank. For that reason, I try valiantly to be kind and be extra aware of people who need a kind word or need some sort of validation that they exist and matter.

Nan has definitely made me feel that I exist and I matter. It is with great sadness that she now suffers from dementia. She forgets things and the order of her history. Tonight she reminded me her husband had died, a fact now almost 20 years old...

Maxine sat quietly in her chair while Nan and I talked, but I did manage to have her share her life story with me. She, too, had lost a husband after 58 years of marriage. She's been living in the rehab center because of her health needs due to asthma and other breathing difficulties. Maxine missed her dear love Curtis; she wished she had died when he did.

Good golly! Between these two grand dames, they had been married over 100 years. I've never even been married one! They highlight the good memories, but I know they both had their struggles. I watched Maxine's memories embrace her face like a familiar lover when she talked about how she met Curtis. Maybe one day my memories will affect me the same way.

Nan had become impatient to change into her nightgown and was downright stubborn about it, but I'd say she's earned it. She remarked on how she was used to doing for herself and I told her that it is because she was so kind that she now has wonderful people helping her. I added another bit of reaping what one has sown. My little saint smiled as this seemed to comfort her in her dependency to others.

Aging is human disease. Not to sound macabre, but we age to die in our earthly costumes. Our souls are whole even when our bodies fail us. Maxine had bemoaned the fact she couldn't do the things she was used to doing with Nan echoing the same. I felt a squeeze in my chest again. Time has robbed these women of their lost loves and their independence, chasing them into their next journey in life. A little dose of cruel never hurts in the end, right?

It was time to leave my wispy haired women so they could prepare for bedtime. The visit didn't all reside in ennui, but I wore them out with jokes and gentle teasing. I forget that they may not handle laughing like the rest of us young 'uns. I left them each with a kiss, a goodnight wish and a warning that I would be coming back the next evening. (Teehee.)

Saints and the Sinners Who Chase Them

It's My Mummy's Fault!

PBD in N'Orleans Drag

There we were deciding who was going to be the Gypsy Fortune Teller or the Mardi Gras Mama...A big row ensued...Loose pink turkey feathers and fortune cards peppered the carpet. It was not pretty. Guess who won?

I predict you will have a Happy Halloween!

It's My Mummy's Fault!

Spooky Little Girl Like Me

One Treat, Two Treats -- WTF? Now 40+ Treats!

The power of Martha Stewart compels me! No one is spookier than that wench..ok, me. Who else would snort Halloween dust and sneeze out 40+ treat bags to give out at work tomorrow?

Spooky Little Girl Like Me

Galactic Battle Cruiser: "Final Launch"

Tom Fair of Lancaster, PA passed away this morning at 67. Who was he? The son of Edna & Thomas Fair, my uncle Dave's older brother/my aunt Maria's brother-in-law, and the father of six unique personalities. I am entering a bit for him in his memory.

He greatest gifts were his capacity to love and his demented sense of humour. Goshdarn was he hilarious -- his laugh was infectious. I remember him driving this big Crown Victoria aka the Galactic Battle Cruiser.

Onward and upward, Captain Tom. May you land safely on your next journey.

Galactic Battle Cruiser: "Final Launch"

You Just Might Be Filipino If...

Twenty-four and a half years ago seems like eons, but it was when I first came into this country to live a new life. In America! Sometimes I feel like Fievel Mousekewitz...

Being bi-racial sealed my fate of being always different and a new country would magnify that even more. I'll try to find a pic to insert later, but I was 11 years old, 5'2", and gangly with long arms and legs not to mention long dark brown hair to my butt.

I had to learn to eat more of a American cuisine which was difficult when my dad made me use a fork extensively to eat my meals. I cried a lot at the dinner table since it was awkward to pick up food with the tines. In the PI, we would 'use' the fork to push the food onto the spoon which was the main utensil used to eat. Now I am also an expert at chopsticks -- screw you, you darn fork!

For years, I tried to embrace more my white half even when it pained me to eschew my filipino side. (Musings more on that as this blog matures.) I have included the following pics of filipino art to let you know how much I've incorporated them into my decor. Flips unite!!!

I can't help that I point my full lips when someone asks me where something is located. I say 'psst' when I try to get someone's attention in the store, the flip version of echo location. I also buy a 'body bag' of rice when I go to the Asian store. I have two cabinets devoted to cooking spices and to soy sauce. My accent picks up when I talk to other Filipinos. My favorite dish is dilis and rice with a side of suka and crush bawang. (Not translating that except my friend KB calls dilis cat treats.)

The following are mobile pics of showing my Filipino pride: MABUHAY!

You Just Might Be Filipino If...

Guilty: "I Own Something Capiz!"

Capiz Hanging Decoration

You've seen them everywhere...little trinket boxes made of capiz. This happens to be a hanging decoration my cousin in LA sent me. Suspended in nylon strings are hot pink and navy blue fishies. I can't comment anymore for fear of further incriminating myself...oy!"

Guilty: "I Own Something Capiz!"

Size Does Matter!

Gargantuan Asian Calendar

No kind of Asian home is complete without one of these monstrosities. I've included my densely populated refrigerator so you can see the scale of this calendar. (Please note requisite Elvis magnet and Flip flag next to handle!) Sometimes these calendars have Asian food brand advertising or peculiar pics of Asian women of which we made my aunt take down one year at her house.

I have made it a tradition every mid-late December to go to Oceanic (largest Asian grocery in Trampa Bay located in downtown Trampa) and ask for this treasure. I can't help it....eating rice can make you do funny things beyond your control.

Size Does Matter!

Not So Pearly Shells from the Ocean (Sungka)

Sunka or Sungka (Filipino Shell Game)

Sunka is one of my favorite games to play. Cowrie shells (sigay) are used to play this two-person game. Some might see this as similar to Mancala game, but I've never played it. Sadly, I don't have the small shells so I've used this carved wooden game board as hanging decoration. I've asked relatives and friends who have gone back to the Philippines to bring me some, but they always forget. Well, at least the wooden barrel figurines always make it.

......................................................................
UPDATE: My blog has been receiving a lot of hits on "sunka game" searches so I thought I'd help out with this:

SUNKA SHELL INFO & other Filipino Games (see #12)
by Artemio C. Barbosa
(http://www.ncca.gov.ph/about_cultarts/articles.php?artcl_Id=10)

12. Sunka or chongca, sungca, sunkaan, sunca, tsunka (board game) - This is another set of game widely distributed in the country and the rest of Southeast Asia. This game is played both outdoors and indoors and is played by both children and adults. This is played by two players with a wooden pea-pod shaped board with seven small holes in rows on each side, and a big hole on each end filled with an equal number of 'sigays' (small shells). Each player takes turns picking up from any hole on his/her side, putting one 'sigays' in the small/big hole to his/her left, then picks up all the 'sigays' from the last hole that the last sigay is put and places them in the big hole to his/her left. This is repeated until one person no longer has any 'sigays' to play with and is declared the loser. The person with the most number of sigays is declared the winner.


Sungka or Chunca Instructions

Sungka Game from WikiManQala

Buy Sungka Board & Shells Here

Count and Capture Boards



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Not So Pearly Shells from the Ocean (Sungka)

Roll Out the Barrel

Barrel Men, Book on Philippines, Filipina Doll in Traditional Dress

Barrel men are naughty novelties. If you pull off the barrel, the man's gigantic wooden 'member' springs out. It can be quite shocking to the unsuspecting person. The larger one closer to the left is a barrel woman. Yes, her 'bodacious tatas' spring out too. What? They were given to me -- not displaying them would just be too rude! (..that's my story.)

Roll Out the Barrel

As Good As It Gets: "I am not posing for you..."

I've been experimenting with sending mobile pics to my blog so these first entries could look a little wonky. This was take #2 from a dog who prides himself on looking gorgeous; however, he just wasn't cooperating with his mama's inspiration for a "PBD Next to a Pine Tree" shot. It's still early and cool in Trampa. My dayglo-white skin was in no danger of sizzling from the sun. Cabal and I even let the breeze whip through our long hair! (Omigosh do we have hair!) Vacuuming is more than a hobby at our home. We can collect enough hair for a small village after zooming the vacuum around the apartment -- it's mostly him I'm sure!

Pretty Boy Dog # 2

Right now, I see him by the front door laying on his tummy resting from a stint from the outdoors...all of friggin 10 minutes, but that's not the point. He's just letting me post this entry before he dictates how I am to spend my Saturday with him. As PBD says, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

As Good As It Gets: "I am not posing for you..."

Smiles

1000 fishies! Actually, these were just a "school" of the ones I helped my cousin's wife decorate this weekend. We had salmon colored fish and electric blue, too! Let's just say your AGOL is sick of icing cookies; my share was probably about 500 pieces. As much as I love doing this kind of thing, there is something to be said about moderation. I even went home on Sunday night to make chocolate chip cookies for my friend T's son's first day of work at our company (poor sucker)...It was my version of light hazing, by making him share so he could make "new friends". It wouldn't have been so bad if I had not decorated the whole thing like an autumn gift bag complete with harvest-themed wire ribbon. ROTFLMAO - He's 20 years old! Well, he's still talking to me and the "big kids" haven't beat him up. It's all good.

Smiles

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

My Pretty Boy Dog (tri-colored sable Sheltie whose real name is Cabal) woke me up at 3:40am this morning to go outside. When a dog has to go, a dog has to go even if it is dark-thirty! I quickly realized the temperature had plunged into a freezing temp overnight. Later I found out it was 46 friggin' degrees, not quite freezing, but it was still 20 degrees colder than the day before. It had become the first official winter weather day in the humble city of 'Trampa'.

As PBD sidestepped the leftover sprinkler moisture on the cement sidewalk outside our apartment, I began chanting "nippili erecti nippili erecti" (pronounced nipple eye erect eye) while doing the Asian Lady Shuffle Walk at warp speed. This involves keeping your legs tightly together while you let from your knees down do all the walking. Of course, with thighs rubbing together (how could one help it?), I almost became a member of the Campfire Girl Club with the heat generated. I might have burst into flames if it weren't for the cold!

Cabal looked at me as if to say, "WTF?" Like it was *my* fault it was cold?! I had to concentrate on multi-tasking. Doing the Asian Lady Shuffle Walk and covering your chest from the chilling breeze while trying to corral a hyper dog are enough to try the patience of this Asian Goddess -- OY! I hadn't even wiped the naughty dreams from my eyes yet or had a nirvana cup of java...We did finally do PBD's morning circuit around the complex and returned to the warmth of the apartment -- 70 degrees. I looked at him and he looked at me with eyes that said, "I am worth it because I am pretty darn cute. Breakfast?"

Next time, I'm wearing corduroys just to join the Campfire Girls...complete with a Hot Dog!

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Hello AGOL!

What's an Asian Goddess to do when she finds herself a little too preoccupied with cleaning the baseboards of her bathroom before her dinner friends come over for panini and appletinis? Create a blog...which is answering the prayer of a dear cousin and a few friends who want you to not focus on bleach products...sigh.

In all boringness and multiple ellipses, it'll be just one more thing to read on the net. Then again....it might even be fun! Justin Timberlake may be bringing the sexy back, but this Asian Goddess of Love will be bringing the "freaky" back. (Get your mind out of the gutter and sit it next to me!)

If you don't like what is posted, you can let me know or have a serving of freshly baked "Bite My Ass" cookies (pic to come soon).....I'm not sayin' anything --- I'm just sayin'.

Hello AGOL!