Showing posts with label sewing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sewing. Show all posts

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Nietzsche Knows

Cool gusty winds lifted my hair today. (Smiling) I cannot recall the last time that happened...

It has been eight weeks since my last chemo and it was the most difficult one. For four additional hours I was subjected to a two-pint blood transfusion. My lower back was also a spasm of pain most of the day which caused me to adopt different positions to try and relieve it without taking pain medicine. Even knowing all this, I would do it all over.

Steroids were again a part of my chemo care regimen. It came with baggage though -- an extra 25 pounds of weight on my body on top of the weight I need to lose. Since re-joining Weight Watchers eight weeks ago, I have lost 15!

My health motto taken from a shirt on bodybuilding.com is "Rise from Weakness". Last year's chemo recovery was not easy so I took a time off this time around two weeks ago to try and make my way to the gym to restart a weight lifting regimen with my coach at 5am. Yes, 5! A nasty alarm wakes me up at 4am Monday through Friday so I can get geared up and eat a pre-workout snack of one banana and seven pieces of raw almonds plus water. Oh yes -- my mouth looks like it is filled with Chiclets when I smile at my Jamaican coach each morning. The joy I feel is immense even when my muscles protest from underuse and chemo recovery...

My home address is new but I have not moved. The emergency network insisted on my apartment complex updating their address system to make it easier on them in case they are needed. A mobile vehicle from the Department of Motor Vehicles was parked in my parking area for everyone to change their driver's license (for free!) to reflect the change of address. I wanted to change my address earlier this year, but this is not exactly what I had imagined.

On the same vein, my UK company has sold off the Healthcare division. I was a casualty of the split that will be finalized in November. My job was moved to the Healthcare side as part of the divestiture. I get to drive to work in the same building but just work under a new company name and with a new manager yet to be named. Mind you, I started out at the Healthcare division and I have been supporting them for six years so the change is more paperwork than anything. I am still happy.

My bigger personal projects are still simmering on the burner; however, I am very proud to inform you that I completed my first quilt. Buoyed by this accomplishment, I also designed and put together a bed scarf as well as recovered my frou-frou pillows to match my new duvet set. I may have finally conquered my fear of sewing!

Sigh.

For now I have to concentrate on my job and improving my health. A quote from Nietzsche sums it up, “He who has a why can endure any how." My whys are worth every step no matter how small or difficult. I think of that each time I see my hair and wince. It has grown much longer, but chemo thinned it out by more than half. Through the magic of a curling iron, brush techniques and a fumigation of hairspray, I still manage to receive compliments on it from strangers. If they only knew how I cannot wait to have my full crown again. I need a bigger crown to rule over Sprinklesville! Ha. My hair is coming back more and more each day judging by the havoc the wind did on it today. It was a nice reminder that things are coming along nicely.

Love,
Sarah
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

No Languishing Zone

Can one actually feel like being hit with a Smartcar? Brain was less foggy this morning but that only magnified how my body was not feeling. Not great. I slept on my back all night and my neck wasn't comfortable. Top that with super night sweats and it was a perfect night not to sleep well...

Once awake I am determined to do something everyday inside my apartment even if I don't get a chance to run errands or meet friends for a quick meal. It is the activity and the idea of progress of some sort and the moving away from any sort of...languishing. I hate languishing! Don't worry, my lovelies. There is no trace of languishing or overdoing it for your AGOL. My body does protest if I try to do too much.

My nails were redone in magenta this morning. I just repainted them two days ago in a nude color that made me gag at how old my hands looked. All the extra washing of my hands and the chemo are not making friends with the skin on my hands. The cheerier color makes me smile more.

For some reason I had a big craving for pasta at lunch and I gave in. I stuffed myself then decided to work some of it off. I put back the sewing corner of my art room in the early afternoon. My cousin Angie's help last month to clear some stuff out helped make it easier. A trip to the sewing store is in order for some new tools though. About an hour of my slow moving body placing things here and there, I began to recognize a cozy sewing corner again. It was time to rest.

I talked to Tawny off and on via IM all day when I wasn't busy wondering when my body was going to feel normal. My hands didn't want to wonder for too long. I made four more crystal bracelets to give out. It was easy to do this time around and I can't help but feel good about creating beautiful things. I've gotten over the shyness of asking people to wear them while I go through my chemotherapy.

My aunt called me tonight and talked more than usual. She spent the day gardening a portion of her yard. The freeze back in January, all our family goings-on and the still cool weather have delayed her clean-up. I know she worries about me and wants to make sure I know that she is there no matter what I need. Maria might know me better now -- she knows I won't ask for assistance unless I have to or if I am ambushed with the offer. I just feel so thankful for what I have already received and don't want to be an imposition. We did make dates for my next chemo and the last two. She will be in the Philippines for two of the six.

I've been putting off going to bed until now because I want to make sure I am tired and sleep through. Each day I must remember gets better and easier. There is no "Languishing Zone".
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Saturday, June 02, 2007

Sewing Inspiration

The rain from Tropical Storm Barry continued from the night. Cabal did not enjoy getting his paws wet during our walk at 4:45am, but he enjoyed the towel drying when we came in. He is so shameless. I just tried not to step into any puddles with my flipflops.

Drove to my morning hair appointment hoping the weather would be okay. Slate clouds hovered over my side of town, but slowly gave way to some blue sky and warm sun on my way. By the time I got out, it was raining again. That's liquid sunshine for you.

My hairdresser Michelle seemed in a better frame of mind and I was truly happy for her. I brought her a souvenir from my UK trip, mug and chocolate. She loved the creamy Galaxy bar. Who doesn't?

My new sewing machine that has been in the trunk of my car since Christmas finally made it into my apartment. I am bound and determined to conquer my fear of sewing. Today I bought some supplies to make a small handbag. The instructions are easy, but when you seem to have a block on sewing, easy may as well be rocket science.

I talked to Yummy tonight for a bit and explained my sewing enigma. He stopped me dead in my tracks and asked me what it reminded me of that kept me from doing it. I can change belts on vacuums and have planned $200,000 events for a company. This should be no problem for me...

I turned the machine on and threaded it after I talked to Yummy. The instructions I have did not exactly have a pattern so I had to create the main one and the corresponding shapes for trim, etc. on my sketchpad. Getting closer. I am determined to get this done.

My sketch pad had a Dr. Wayne Dyer quote I had written in sometime back: Contemplate the surroundings of the conditions you wish to produce. It was a reminder that my dreams have yet to come to fruition and I need to keep them in mind. Perhaps making that breakthrough in sewing will help me.

Found Dr. Dyer quotes I have enjoyed --

Dr. Dyer explains his definition of success:
Thoreau: "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." That always has defined my road to what you call phenomenal success. I have advanced confidently in the direction of my dreams. I have lived the life I imagined. And I have had a ball doing it.

And last but not least this one which resonates and haunts me everyday from Dr. Dyer:
“Don’t die with your music still in you.” Everybody has that music..what it is they feel most blissful doing, what it is that they’re doing where they lose all sense of time, of fatigue, of hunger. All that dissolves because they’re inspired...


More...
Allowing success discussion with Dr. Wayne Dyer
More discussion on his site.
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