Once awake I am determined to do something everyday inside my apartment even if I don't get a chance to run errands or meet friends for a quick meal. It is the activity and the idea of progress of some sort and the moving away from any sort of...languishing. I hate languishing! Don't worry, my lovelies. There is no trace of languishing or overdoing it for your AGOL. My body does protest if I try to do too much.
My nails were redone in magenta this morning. I just repainted them two days ago in a nude color that made me gag at how old my hands looked. All the extra washing of my hands and the chemo are not making friends with the skin on my hands. The cheerier color makes me smile more.
For some reason I had a big craving for pasta at lunch and I gave in. I stuffed myself then decided to work some of it off. I put back the sewing corner of my art room in the early afternoon. My cousin Angie's help last month to clear some stuff out helped make it easier. A trip to the sewing store is in order for some new tools though. About an hour of my slow moving body placing things here and there, I began to recognize a cozy sewing corner again. It was time to rest.
I talked to Tawny off and on via IM all day when I wasn't busy wondering when my body was going to feel normal. My hands didn't want to wonder for too long. I made four more crystal bracelets to give out. It was easy to do this time around and I can't help but feel good about creating beautiful things. I've gotten over the shyness of asking people to wear them while I go through my chemotherapy.
My aunt called me tonight and talked more than usual. She spent the day gardening a portion of her yard. The freeze back in January, all our family goings-on and the still cool weather have delayed her clean-up. I know she worries about me and wants to make sure I know that she is there no matter what I need. Maria might know me better now -- she knows I won't ask for assistance unless I have to or if I am ambushed with the offer. I just feel so thankful for what I have already received and don't want to be an imposition. We did make dates for my next chemo and the last two. She will be in the Philippines for two of the six.
I've been putting off going to bed until now because I want to make sure I am tired and sleep through. Each day I must remember gets better and easier. There is no "Languishing Zone".
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