Tuesday, October 31, 2006

It's My Mummy's Fault!

PBD in N'Orleans Drag

There we were deciding who was going to be the Gypsy Fortune Teller or the Mardi Gras Mama...A big row ensued...Loose pink turkey feathers and fortune cards peppered the carpet. It was not pretty. Guess who won?

I predict you will have a Happy Halloween!


Monday, October 30, 2006

Spooky Little Girl Like Me

One Treat, Two Treats -- WTF? Now 40+ Treats!

The power of Martha Stewart compels me! No one is spookier than that wench..ok, me. Who else would snort Halloween dust and sneeze out 40+ treat bags to give out at work tomorrow?


Sunday, October 29, 2006

Galactic Battle Cruiser: "Final Launch"

Tom Fair of Lancaster, PA passed away this morning at 67. Who was he? The son of Edna & Thomas Fair, my uncle Dave's older brother/my aunt Maria's brother-in-law, and the father of six unique personalities. I am entering a bit for him in his memory.

He greatest gifts were his capacity to love and his demented sense of humour. Goshdarn was he hilarious -- his laugh was infectious. I remember him driving this big Crown Victoria aka the Galactic Battle Cruiser.

Onward and upward, Captain Tom. May you land safely on your next journey.

You Just Might Be Filipino If...

Twenty-four and a half years ago seems like eons, but it was when I first came into this country to live a new life. In America! Sometimes I feel like Fievel Mousekewitz...

Being bi-racial sealed my fate of being always different and a new country would magnify that even more. I'll try to find a pic to insert later, but I was 11 years old, 5'2", and gangly with long arms and legs not to mention long dark brown hair to my butt.

I had to learn to eat more of a American cuisine which was difficult when my dad made me use a fork extensively to eat my meals. I cried a lot at the dinner table since it was awkward to pick up food with the tines. In the PI, we would 'use' the fork to push the food onto the spoon which was the main utensil used to eat. Now I am also an expert at chopsticks -- screw you, you darn fork!

For years, I tried to embrace more my white half even when it pained me to eschew my filipino side. (Musings more on that as this blog matures.) I have included the following pics of filipino art to let you know how much I've incorporated them into my decor. Flips unite!!!

I can't help that I point my full lips when someone asks me where something is located. I say 'psst' when I try to get someone's attention in the store, the flip version of echo location. I also buy a 'body bag' of rice when I go to the Asian store. I have two cabinets devoted to cooking spices and to soy sauce. My accent picks up when I talk to other Filipinos. My favorite dish is dilis and rice with a side of suka and crush bawang. (Not translating that except my friend KB calls dilis cat treats.)

The following are mobile pics of showing my Filipino pride: MABUHAY!

Guilty: "I Own Something Capiz!"

Capiz Hanging Decoration

You've seen them everywhere...little trinket boxes made of capiz. This happens to be a hanging decoration my cousin in LA sent me. Suspended in nylon strings are hot pink and navy blue fishies. I can't comment anymore for fear of further incriminating myself...oy!"


Size Does Matter!

Gargantuan Asian Calendar

No kind of Asian home is complete without one of these monstrosities. I've included my densely populated refrigerator so you can see the scale of this calendar. (Please note requisite Elvis magnet and Flip flag next to handle!) Sometimes these calendars have Asian food brand advertising or peculiar pics of Asian women of which we made my aunt take down one year at her house.

I have made it a tradition every mid-late December to go to Oceanic (largest Asian grocery in Trampa Bay located in downtown Trampa) and ask for this treasure. I can't help it....eating rice can make you do funny things beyond your control.


Not So Pearly Shells from the Ocean (Sungka)

Sunka or Sungka (Filipino Shell Game)

Sunka is one of my favorite games to play. Cowrie shells (sigay) are used to play this two-person game. Some might see this as similar to Mancala game, but I've never played it. Sadly, I don't have the small shells so I've used this carved wooden game board as hanging decoration. I've asked relatives and friends who have gone back to the Philippines to bring me some, but they always forget. Well, at least the wooden barrel figurines always make it.

UPDATE: My blog has been receiving a lot of hits on "sunka game" searches so I thought I'd help out with this:

SUNKA SHELL INFO & other Filipino Games (see #12)
by Artemio C. Barbosa

12. Sunka or chongca, sungca, sunkaan, sunca, tsunka (board game) - This is another set of game widely distributed in the country and the rest of Southeast Asia. This game is played both outdoors and indoors and is played by both children and adults. This is played by two players with a wooden pea-pod shaped board with seven small holes in rows on each side, and a big hole on each end filled with an equal number of 'sigays' (small shells). Each player takes turns picking up from any hole on his/her side, putting one 'sigays' in the small/big hole to his/her left, then picks up all the 'sigays' from the last hole that the last sigay is put and places them in the big hole to his/her left. This is repeated until one person no longer has any 'sigays' to play with and is declared the loser. The person with the most number of sigays is declared the winner.

Sungka or Chunca Instructions

Sungka Game from WikiManQala

Buy Sungka Board & Shells Here

Count and Capture Boards


Roll Out the Barrel

Barrel Men, Book on Philippines, Filipina Doll in Traditional Dress

Barrel men are naughty novelties. If you pull off the barrel, the man's gigantic wooden 'member' springs out. It can be quite shocking to the unsuspecting person. The larger one closer to the left is a barrel woman. Yes, her 'bodacious tatas' spring out too. What? They were given to me -- not displaying them would just be too rude! (..that's my story.)


Saturday, October 28, 2006

As Good As It Gets: "I am not posing for you..."

I've been experimenting with sending mobile pics to my blog so these first entries could look a little wonky. This was take #2 from a dog who prides himself on looking gorgeous; however, he just wasn't cooperating with his mama's inspiration for a "PBD Next to a Pine Tree" shot. It's still early and cool in Trampa. My dayglo-white skin was in no danger of sizzling from the sun. Cabal and I even let the breeze whip through our long hair! (Omigosh do we have hair!) Vacuuming is more than a hobby at our home. We can collect enough hair for a small village after zooming the vacuum around the apartment -- it's mostly him I'm sure!

Pretty Boy Dog # 2

Right now, I see him by the front door laying on his tummy resting from a stint from the outdoors...all of friggin 10 minutes, but that's not the point. He's just letting me post this entry before he dictates how I am to spend my Saturday with him. As PBD says, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."


Friday, October 27, 2006


1000 fishies! Actually, these were just a "school" of the ones I helped my cousin's wife decorate this weekend. We had salmon colored fish and electric blue, too! Let's just say your AGOL is sick of icing cookies; my share was probably about 500 pieces. As much as I love doing this kind of thing, there is something to be said about moderation. I even went home on Sunday night to make chocolate chip cookies for my friend T's son's first day of work at our company (poor sucker)...It was my version of light hazing, by making him share so he could make "new friends". It wouldn't have been so bad if I had not decorated the whole thing like an autumn gift bag complete with harvest-themed wire ribbon. ROTFLMAO - He's 20 years old! Well, he's still talking to me and the "big kids" haven't beat him up. It's all good.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

My Pretty Boy Dog (tri-colored sable Sheltie whose real name is Cabal) woke me up at 3:40am this morning to go outside. When a dog has to go, a dog has to go even if it is dark-thirty! I quickly realized the temperature had plunged into a freezing temp overnight. Later I found out it was 46 friggin' degrees, not quite freezing, but it was still 20 degrees colder than the day before. It had become the first official winter weather day in the humble city of 'Trampa'.

As PBD sidestepped the leftover sprinkler moisture on the cement sidewalk outside our apartment, I began chanting "nippili erecti nippili erecti" (pronounced nipple eye erect eye) while doing the Asian Lady Shuffle Walk at warp speed. This involves keeping your legs tightly together while you let from your knees down do all the walking. Of course, with thighs rubbing together (how could one help it?), I almost became a member of the Campfire Girl Club with the heat generated. I might have burst into flames if it weren't for the cold!

Cabal looked at me as if to say, "WTF?" Like it was *my* fault it was cold?! I had to concentrate on multi-tasking. Doing the Asian Lady Shuffle Walk and covering your chest from the chilling breeze while trying to corral a hyper dog are enough to try the patience of this Asian Goddess -- OY! I hadn't even wiped the naughty dreams from my eyes yet or had a nirvana cup of java...We did finally do PBD's morning circuit around the complex and returned to the warmth of the apartment -- 70 degrees. I looked at him and he looked at me with eyes that said, "I am worth it because I am pretty darn cute. Breakfast?"

Next time, I'm wearing corduroys just to join the Campfire Girls...complete with a Hot Dog!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Hello AGOL!

What's an Asian Goddess to do when she finds herself a little too preoccupied with cleaning the baseboards of her bathroom before her dinner friends come over for panini and appletinis? Create a blog...which is answering the prayer of a dear cousin and a few friends who want you to not focus on bleach products...sigh.

In all boringness and multiple ellipses, it'll be just one more thing to read on the net. Then again....it might even be fun! Justin Timberlake may be bringing the sexy back, but this Asian Goddess of Love will be bringing the "freaky" back. (Get your mind out of the gutter and sit it next to me!)

If you don't like what is posted, you can let me know or have a serving of freshly baked "Bite My Ass" cookies (pic to come soon).....I'm not sayin' anything --- I'm just sayin'.