Do you remember the last time I cooked a meal for visitors that didn't involve my chemotherapy? Me neither. Tonight was the first time since last year I am entertaining purely for fun.
I started out early by going to do some shopping and ended up at the grocery store. By the time I finished around noon I was wiped out. I put my groceries away and ate lunch before taking a nap for some recovery time.
Tawny and Jeff came at 6pm to enjoy a home cooked meal of broiled marinated flank steak. It was accompanied by seasoned green beans, a wedge of cold lettuce for the quickest and simplest salad and my lazy (yet healthier!) mashed potatoes. Red potatoes were boiled until fork tender then placed on a sheet pan lined with aluminum foil and drizzled with some olive oil that has been spread out to coat pan. I then smashed each potato with a potato masher once. More olive oil was drizzled on the bed of mashed red potatoes followed by a good seasoning of kosher salt and freshly ground pepper. Finely chopped fresh rosemary was sprinkled on top for flavor. The oven was heated to 450 degrees and the potatoes were cooked until crisp about 30 minutes. I added some chopped red pepper and scallion rings for color and a fresh finish before scraping the potatoes off the sheet pan and into a large serving bowl. Yes, all of it was yummy!!
For dessert, I made what I now call my Raspberry Angel Napoleon. I sliced angel food cake and layered them with sugar-free whipped topping and fresh raspberries. I topped each serving with shaved 70% dark chocolate and some disco dust because I like sparkly. You've heard that before, haven't you?
The rest of the evening was spent playing Scrabble. We did two rounds that involved painful deliberations from Jeff. Where I play for a certain flourish with words, he was playing for high points. He won both rounds. Bastard. Ha. At some point when there were less tiles to choose from, my letter choices started to spell out Russian words or for Tawny what she perceived as Vietnamese words. She did have one set that spelled out "SO NASTY" and used the word NASTY on the board.
I was very interested in playing with these two brainiacs since we have never played Scrabble in the 12 years we've known each other. More importantly, I wanted to spend some quality and normal time with them. I am sick of having our only communication via instant messages or cell phone texts. It is just not the same when you are in person. Our recent get-togethers have also involved something with my cancer treatments. My treatments are almost over and I need to start transitioning into normal. I don't know if that is the appropriate word because my life is no longer normal and I can never return to what I knew as normal...
Cancer changes your perspective in life. It makes your world both myopic and expansive. Myopic in the sense that it weeds out the bullshit that used to bother you and expansive by lowering the fence on what you can accomplish. Things I thought I could not do before are doable. Getting back my health -- my strength and building upon that will be key. I've staged mini-milestones (in three phases) for myself for the next six months. Of course, the milestones need to be flexible because I don't know how my body will react to my last set chemotherapy. I believe I've built enough of a cushion before the second phase. The skeleton plan so far makes me feel good of what I can do to get ready to shape the future life I will lead. There is no word beatific enough for me to describe how I've imagined that life will be.
Kisses,
Sarah xo
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