Saturday Samba

For two weeks now I have had this tune, Samba Da Bencao in my head thanks to the movie "Eat Pray Love". This song is first played when the actor Javier Bardem is seen in the movie. While the scene was memorable, the song itself holds more than its own.

Last weekend while in Jacksonville visiting Kathy, we tried to look for this soundtrack and gave up after five stores turned up with zero copies. I was desperate to have it for my three-hour ride home.

(By the way, the movie is not for everyone. It is definitely a chick flick, if you will. I've seen it twice - once with Dianne and her husband at the local preview two weeks ago and the second time with Kathy last weekend. The movie is two hours of brain candy.)

Back to the song...I was able to buy this earlier today and have had it looping in my car over and over again as I drive around town. It is incredibly soothing. The feeling it evokes matches the mellow mood I've been in. Yes, that means my period of adjustment is going better. I no longer feel as anxious with my change in schedule.

At work, my group has moved from the 8th floor down to the 7th floor. My boss remarked on how relaxed I've been with the new seating change. I wouldn't attribute my change of attitude just to that. Cancer has given me a new perspective on life to where a multitude of things that would have made me crazy last year no longer bother me. The feeling is rather freeing. Very zen-like.

I am realizing that I cannot move forward while driving my life at 100 miles per hour. The whole thing is a process that takes (ugh) time! Healing is about time. My body shows me everyday how much I am healing for the better. I feel so alive -- more alive than I have been in a very long time. I am humbled at each new discovery.

My hair is growing back fast with my eyebrows and eyelashes almost all in. The hair on my head will take more time but I can rub my head and feel my hair and not skin. Hooray!

The emotional healing is part of the process, too. I know I have to do the work to move forward. It is difficult as you know since the emotional part of you is something you have conscious control over. All I can say is that I am doing okay at it...

My calendar has managed to be filled with various activities where I get to both meet new people and reconnect with friends I haven't had a chance to spend time with since before my surgery and chemo treatments.

I got home late tonight from my friend Sandy and Mark's home. I spent a lively evening with their family and a set of friends eating a tasty dinner and sharing stories. November may find me camping with Sandy and her family by a river which I am looking forward to doing. If you know me, you know that my past idea of camping was usually a hotel without a pool. This is part of me saying yes to more opportunities.




Samba Da Bencao (Samba Of The Blessing) by Sergio Mendes
(Baden Powell, Vinicius de Moraes)

E melhor ser alegre que ser triste
Alegria e a melhor coisa que existe
E assim como a luz no coracao
Mas pra fazer um samba com beleza
E preciso um bocado de tristeza
Senao nao se faz um samba nao

Fazer samba nao e contar piada
E quem faz samba assim nao e de nada
O bom samba e uma forma de oracao
Porque o samba e a tristeza que balanca
E a tristeza tem sempre uma esperanca
De um dia nao ser mais triste nao

Poe um pouco de amor numa cadencia
E vai ver que ninguem no mundo vence
A beleza que tem um samba nao
Porque o samba nasceu la na Bahia
E se hoje ele e branco na poesia
Ele e **** demais no coracao

[Translation:]

Samba Of The Blessing

It's better to be happy than sad
Happiness is the best thing there is
It is like a light in the heart
But to make a samba with beauty
It's needed a bit of sadness
If not the samba can't be made

To make a samba is not like telling a joke
And who makes samba like this is worth nothing
The good samba is a kind of prayer
Because samba is the sadness that sways
And sadness is always hopeful
Of one day not being sad any more

Put a little love in the cadence
And you'll see that in this world nobody wins
The beauty that a samba have
Because samba was born in Bahia
And if today it is white in it's poetry
It is very black in it's heart.

Swaying to this Samba,
Sprinkles xo

Saturday Samba

Cabin Fever

My best plans were foiled by my nurse yesterday. She didn't get to come until 2pm. I was starting to feel cabin fever. There is one thing to feel like staying home and being forced to stay home. It was just as well because my brain was experiencing "Groundhog Day" with my meds. Ugh. My nurse did give me good news that my wound in my belly would soon be all closed up by the weekend and could comfortably scar over and heal. I decided then that we would cut down our visitation to once a week just to be sure.

Tawny came to see me in the evening and to finish up our initial set of crystal bracelets that I am having the Sprinkles Posse wear while I am in chemotherapy. She hasn't been feeling well either with a serious bout of anemia. It is serious enough to warrant a blood transfusion. Since she just started her new job two weeks ago, Tawny has been staving off this measure until further results from yesterday's blood work and an ultrasound this afternoon. I am worried because she does so much for others and that includes me!

............

Today was my day to combat cabin fever. I didn't have to take further "nasty anti-nausea meds right after chemo". My brain just had a slight mist. I made plans to mail my reimbursement for my $285 wig to my health insurance as well as mail one of the bracelets below to my friend Kathy in Jacksonville.



I am wearing one of the crystal bracelets as is Tawny. My friend Dianne will get hers when she visits me next Thursday and I delivered one to my friend Sandy this afternoon. If anyone wants to wear one until at least end of June, please let me know. I will mail it anywhere in the world. Just e-mail me at helloagol_@_yahoo_dot_com or from my profile. This is my design and are all hand strung. Tawny had to help me with this set as my brain was a bit foggy to try to manage installing the clasp. There are teal color bicone beads which signifies Ovarian Cancer like breast cancer is pink. (Also, please let me know sizing 6.5in? 7in? 7.5in?) The bracelet is a tangible support in my cure. DUE DATE FOR OFFER APRIL 2, 2010 or while supplies last.

Before visiting Sandy this afternoon, I had my new passport pictures taken. My passport expired in January and I wasn't able to renew it on time thanks to my surgery. I wore pink and actually smiled. This was different from psycho-killer pose of years ago and the outfit was heinous!! LOL I just had to make sure I still had my own hair in the pic. There is no beauty rest in Shallowville!

Sandy has been wanting to see me since she brought me a houseplant and yellow daffodils while I was in the hospital. She's been offering up any bit of help to me. Her whole family is such and I've treasured her friendship for 15 years. More importantly, I wanted her to see me as I am now before I have my head shaved. Sandy had seen me about 40lbs heavier at Christmas thanks to my burgeoning tumor-filled tummy so seeing me upright and much trimmer was a great surprise to her. She said I looked much healthier today.

Not too far from Sandy's is my aunt's house. I stayed for dinner to enjoy being around my family and I know they were happy to see me out and about. I made mention that today would be my mother's birthday -- my aunt's will be Friday, too. Both women named Maria and both as precious to me as anything.

I felt like a reverse vampire going home trying to get home before sundown since my vision was a bit impaired from chemo. I made it within 10 minutes of no sun. Tawny made me keep vigil of each place I visited today so she could be assured I'd be home okay. It was a great feeling to text her from home...Spoke to Angie twice in Los Angeles tonight. Now I am going to prepare for bed!

xo
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Cabin Fever

Fun at Sandy & Mark's Party

Woken up from a deep sleep by a call from an agitated Angie letting me know that she missed her flight from L.A. due to traffic and that I didn't have to go to "mom and dad's". It was 1:10am and I had finally gotten to sleep 30 minutes before. I was able to mentally register the message and reset my alarm from 3:15am to 6:30am.

Ended up calling my aunt and uncle's house mid morning trying to find out more, but they didn't have any more information at that time. Soon after Lisa called me while she ran her errands to catch up on stuff. She was very happy in her new home.

Shopped the grocery store quickly for ingredients to make my much anticipated rum cake. It is baked in a bundt shape and the rum sauce drenched on top is made with a generous helping each of butter, granulated sugar, water and rum. Most of the alcohol does get cooked off, but one whiff will let you know it has rum in it. Some recipes call for straight rum being poured over the cake (yuk!), but my recipe has a buttered taste.

I've had the recipe since 1992 from a guy named Rick whom I worked with at Saks Fifth Avenue in Chicago. After it has had time to absorb the extra liquid on the plate, a generous sprinkling of powdered sugar is added. I tend to add more during Christmas for a heavy snow effect. Since it will be served at someone else's home, I pre-sliced the cake before the powdered sugar step which makes serving a snap.

Picked up Kathy and headed for Sandy and Mark's Annual Christmas party. (They live just a few miles from my aunt and uncle.) We've been going for about nine years. I took a lot of pics than I ever have at their party to show the things Kathy and I always search for when we visit at Christmas. It brings comfort somehow. They always go all out. The whole house is decorated down to the last details of having their comforter on their bed have a Christmas theme and swapping their everyday dishes with Christmas ones during the season.

Out poolside bar with Sandy and Kathy


My own handmade ornaments she received from my ornament exchange parties from previous years were hung on their second tree outside by the bar:

Felt fabric Santa underwear that contained bracelets with jingle bells for the gals to wear.


One of the many designs of origami boxes I've made.


Their indoor tree with and without a flash!


Every year their piano is decorated this way. The giant Santa on the left sings and dances.


Sandy wraps all of her art and photos, too!


Kathy enjoying the rum cake I baked.


Our hosts: Sandy and Mark, the nicest people you will ever meet!


Clearly Mark and Kathy are not believing the story Sandy is telling.


A very exhausted Perkins rests from running around dozens of guests.


I enjoyed myself at the party and felt my Christmas freakishness only a few times. By the time I dropped Kathy home and I got back to my own home, it was 11:35pm. Only have a few hours to sleep and drive to my aunt and uncle's to accompany my uncle to the airport. Buckets of coffee will be in my future.
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Fun at Sandy & Mark's Party