I am going to miss my male nurse very much. He made me laugh and we had fun during our flirty banter. His face seemed a bit saddened that today could be our last encounter. It all depends on if I can have my uncle help me move my things back to my own apartment in the next day. I have much more than a two suitcases and my walker/stroller that I barely use now for its intended purpose...
On a more serious note, my family has been dealing with the downturn of Nan's health. You may recall my favorite q-tip, my uncle's mother. In the last couple of months she has been in and out of the emergency room when she is not being assisted at the nursing home. Even with the enormous care and love my aunt and uncle have given her, she is just not improving. Ultimately, they have not failed her -- it is her 95-year old body that is failing her.
Tomorrow night my uncle's youngest brother Al is flying from Germany and will be staying about a week to say his goodbyes. I pity him because he has not seen her deterioration and will have the shock of his life when his eyes finally comprehend her state. She is under the watchful eye of Hospice at the nursing home. With the exception of a breathing tube, she is not being given anything unless it is a dissolveable (?) pain pill under her tongue when she is moved.
The whole thing has been a deep strain on my aunt and uncle hence my reticence to press for my own agenda. My own situation has my aunt worrying though she understands I am far better than I was four weeks ago. Truth be told I am left with no choice if I am to reduce my own stress. My male nurse recorded a high blood pressure reading for me today which worries me because my last few readings have gradually worsened.
Today it all started with me not being able to wash clothes properly on my own today because of my aunt's washing machine followed by other things before my nurse's visit. In fact, I was in the middle of listening to a meditation song on youtube when he knocked on the door. It was my last ditch effort to reduce the stress I was feeling while thinking about everything in the house and my upcoming chemo preparations and treatments. So much for nothing. Sigh.
Meanwhile, I am requesting that you please say a small prayer for Nan that her passing to go back to God is peaceful and that she feels our love as she makes her transition. Many thanks. xxoo
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