More Than One Vacuum

My surgery was about three weeks ago. It feels like four. My weekend visitors especially Kathy today had to remind me of how far I have come since that day and the week before the surgery when I could barely breathe...

The past two weeks has me at my aunts where I am being taking care of with kid gloves and being fed mostly Filipino food, a fact that brings me endless smiles. It sounds great, but it is not all great when you're used to having your own independence to do whatever you normally do. I am not allowed to drive so Tawny gets to drive my car when she's not hustling me to and from the hospital for appointments.

Last Sunday night, I developed a fever which was a response to an infection I had developed in my lower set of stitches. I had no choice but to call the hospital around midnight. The on-call gyno doctor was a bitch and disrespectful. I did take her advice, but did not call her back. Instead I waited until normal hospital hours and called to explain what happened including dealing with bitchy gyno. I was scheduled for blood work and an afternoon appointment the same day. My normal stellar care resumed itself and apologies for bitchy on-call doc were issued several times.

A nurse practitioner who worked under my surgeon saw to me and decided to take out my stitches. The first five-inch row were pinchy while the rest of the six inches were extremely painful that I carried on loudly while trying valiantly not to use the curse words that were fighting to be screamed. Tawny let me crush her fingers as I cried and tried to focus on her and her voice to lessen the pain. I wasn't armed with pain meds since I received a scolding from the on-call gyno for taking them round the clock instead of as needed. My nurse was not happy. She almost admitted me but there were no beds available. I did not feel bad enough to be admitted. New antibiotics were prescribed before we left.

Irma, a social worker, came to see me in the exam room to arrange for a home health nurse to visit my aunt's home three times a week to change the bandages/sponges for my new wound vac. It's like a Hoover for your wound. Because of the infection, my wound had not all sealed so it was gaping when it was not stuffed with gauze, etc. Different sponges are inserted in the wound site, followed by double-sided sticky cling film layered around the perimeter (simulating skin) and on top of the wound. A slit is cut to put a round plastic attached to a hose that would go over my wound followed by more sticky cling film. Another hose connected to a canister and battery pack is attached to the hose on my body. I carry this everywhere I go and make sure it is charged. Once it is switched on, it begins to suck the sponges sticking out back towards inside my wound where it will wick any drainage to the canister. Taking the dressing off and putting back on is a bit painful. All this trouble is supposed to heal my wound 50% faster. It is worth it in the end.

Tawny took me back for a follow up two days later - last Wednesday - to see my surgeon who pronounced my wound healing nicely. Our hospital visit was 1000% better than the two days prior. I sang in the exam room while waiting to see him. I won't see him again until February 12th. I was also switched from Percoset to oxycodone, a gentler but stronger pain medication not containing acetaminophen to injure my liver. The thing about these narcotics is that it is imperative to take stool softeners and with my wound near that area still healing, I have no choice. I know -- not glamorous at all! Sprinklesville is not as effervescent and scintillating these days I'm afraid.

Remember when I told you about my swollen ankles? They are no longer swollen -- they are half the size. They are rather sexy and shapely, I might say. I've lost 35 pounds since the surgery. The alien was large and I was carrying around that much extra liquid bloating. Of course, my appetite isn't grand, so that contributes, too. I halfway do not recognize the woman I see in the mirror. As the days pass, I am having to come to grips with the new life I will have especially after chemo treatment which I hope to have completed by June/July. My surgeon is not discussing this until my wound heals to his satisfaction. Just as well. The days are appearing seamless but I try not to get sucked in that kind of vacuum. I try to recognize each day for its own. Meanwhile, I am resting and receiving visitors.

Kisses,
Sarah xo
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More Than One Vacuum

Lucid Moment

Finding a lucid moment when not doped on narcotics for pain management has been challenging, but I am going to take advantage of one moment now to update my blog. Where were we...?

The day of my surgery was a blur. My aunt and uncle came to my apartment to pick up my bigger suitcase while Tawny picked up and small suitcase for the hospital. Tawny drove the two of us to the hospital with my aunt and uncle following. It was a bit tense in pre-op where I was prepared for surgery. Having my aunt and uncle there by my hospital bed got a bit emotional. Soon the anaesthetic drugs tookover and I just remember bits and pieces.

In the recovery room, I remember blinding pain and being so chilled my teeth chattered. I also remember asking what time it was so I could ascertain if my ovarian cyst was benign or cancerous. The nurse told me it was 4:15pm; I was in the operating room around 11am. That told me that it was not good.

Eventually I was wheeled to my own private room. On the way to the room, the ceiling lights passed too fast making me nauseous that I immediately closed my eyes. I heard familiar voices in my room where my aunt, uncle and Tawny had been waiting with smiles and kisses.

Tawny stayed the night to keep vigil over me, making sure she was a whisper away. I kept moaning all night and kept apologizing to her. She fed me glasses of ice chips to hydrate my mouth and throat. I couldn't believe how dry the medications made my mouth feel. That night was the first of six nights Tawny stayed overnight with me.

I was told by Tawny and the doctors that I had Stage III cancer. My surgery involved a complete hysterectomy, all my fallopian tubes taken, a portion of my belly taken and a portion of my intestines taken as well. The intestines are now re-attached via titanium staples for my flesh to grow over. It will be a permanent installation. A long row of staples up and down my abdomen gave proof to the severity of the surgery.

During my stay at Moffitt, I was woken up by nurses, patient care techs and doctors all hours of the day and night. Being hooked up to IV for nourishment and pain medication was surreal. Did I mention the catheter I had to carry around? Everywhere I went for the first four days involved juggling these things.

I ate ice chips for the first four days then eventually being allowed gelatin. When the hospital food came, I really didn't have an appetite for it but I tried to eat as much as I could. My appetite didn't return until I came home to my aunt's house where she fed me food to my taste.

The most incredible part of all were the texts, facebook messages, cell phone calls, room phone calls and the alarming amount of visitors I had during my hospital stay. There was an incident with my cell phone midstay so I may I have missed some calls. There were flowers everywhere. The medical staff had to bustle their way in through everything. It was quite funny. I think they were surprised themselves at how many visitors they saw in my room. They did accept Tawny has my nighttime angel. She went home during the day for showers and some rest. I know her husband missed her much during that time.

I was eventually discharged on Monday the 18th. I'll write more about everything since then later. My laptop battery is signaling 13 more minutes of typing time. Thank you very much for keeping up with me and also for the lovely blog messages you've left me. All in all I am very blessed. Until my next lucid moment....

Love,
Sarah xxoo
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Lucid Moment

One for Me

This post is for me and to remind myself how happy and full of joy I am at this very moment. Tomorrow is a big day in my life and I cannot wait to greet it. I am remembering the words of my favorite television preacher Joel Osteen, "Pruning leads to blooming".
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One for Me

Ecclesiastes 3

My time for open surgery has been scheduled on Tuesday the 12th at 1:15pm. It is two days before my birthday and I cannot think of a better present to myself than the gift of health!

Wednesday found me shuffling between floors at Moffitt Cancer Center. I spoke to several individuals and was physically examined by two doctors that day. My wonderful friend Tawny accompanied me the whole time. The late afternoon had me participating in pre-operative tests and extensive instructions so I would be prepared for Tuesday. Our visit lasted a total of over five hours. We were hungry and exhausted. Before too many phone calls were made to family and friends, Tawny and I finally ate at our favorite Mexican place.

So a bit about the surgery...I am instructed to check in three hours before surgery having already bathed in antibacterial soap. No make-up, perfume, nail polish and lotion are to be applied before surgery. Eek! Anyhoo... The surgery itself should last about an hour if the sample of the cyst taken to pathology is found to be non-cancerous and requires three days hospital stay. If it is cancerous, surgery could be up to two and half hours because of further removal of reproductive organs and tissue with four or five days hospital stay. Either way still requires six weeks recovery time at home.

Thursday and Friday made for busy days between sorting out work stuff and hospital stuff during work hours. There is much to do before surgery day. My human resource department have been extra helpful in making sure my pay during this time is properly coded so not only do I get the benefits of Short-Term Disability (60% of regular pay) supplemented with my loads of sick days I've hardly taken over the years. This should assure me a full paycheck during my leave of absence and still be able to accrue more vacation time while in recovery. Few employees have this luxury and peace of mind.

This weekend I will run last minute errands, start to pack two suitcases (one for my aunt's house and one for the hospital), tidy my apartment a bit and also visit my aunt and uncle to go over the plan for Tuesday. I will still go to work on Monday instead of being at home spending too much time thinking about the following day.

The support of family and friends I have is immense and my care at Moffitt is top notch. My blessings are still being counted... Thank you to everyone!

Love and Kisses,
Sarah

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Ecclesiastes 3

¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

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Ecclesiastes 3

Sick Humor

No countdown on the New Year -- we were too busy watching the latest Star Trek movie on cable. There was no fanfare, but there was comfort in being surrounded by friends who have known me a long time. That's way better!

Two days later Tawny came by to help me get some affairs in order. Too bad it wasn't the fun kind. I had received a welcome packet in the mail from Moffitt Cancer Center which included a full color brochure/booklet that was both friendly and informative plus a nice stack of paperwork I had to fill out. The first page outlined what I was to bring to my first appointment; however, the sobering portion of the page was the top right where a medical number was assigned to me. I know this is just part of procedure and is not a knell of anything in particular to come. Still. It is sobering.

I suggested Tawny to drive us to my aunt and uncle's in my car since I was uncomfortable, just not feeling up to par. The funny part was that we had to switch so I could drive after all. My ass grooves were molded to the drivers seat and made the ride more comfortable. The passenger seat made me favor the side that was sore. Maybe it is just psychosomatic and my need to be in control?

The visit to my aunt's was to get signatures and witnessing my wishes in a living will on what I want in case I end up in an vegetative state, etc. and to make my designation for a health care surrogate to make decisions for me in case I am incapacitated. I told my aunt and uncle as I filled out my portion that if a sexy man was on top of me incapacitating me at the hospital, they were to leave me alone. How else should one go in the next world? We all had a great chuckle.

Another errand and a lunch on the go, brought Tawny and me back to my apartment to help me with other paperwork and other little things I needed help doing. It is difficult to ask for help, but I know that I need to right now if I am going to be well until my next medical appointment. It will determine my day for open surgery to get this alien amoeba out of me. I eat less because it is pressing up against my organs yet as I lose weight it continues to re-assign itself around my midsection announcing itself in front of me like a shameless and knowing showman.

Don't fear my lovelies, if the phone conversation with my new doctor's nurse assistant today is anything to go by, I should have more laughs going through this journey. Apparently, I am not so special. There are others with bigger cysts that they've seen. She punctuated the news by iterating (in my words now...) what a rock star my doctor is and how well he is rated as a surgeon in his field. Just lovely. I'm going to need a really good poke.
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Sick Humor