Big Sticks and Silver Bullets

I was fine until I woke up this morning.

My day was to be filled with activities for our temp's going away. This caused me anxiety and pressure I sought to contain as soon as I began getting ready for work. The matter with my temp has been an ordeal we've been waiting months to solve. Budgets were done recently and her contract was not included in that budget. For her part, she has been in denial even through the warnings from my boss that this time was coming.

When I got to work, my preliminary order of business was to warn off everyone that I was a biatch on wheels and that they should either start sharpening their sticks or just get out the silver bullets. I try to give fair warning when I know my mood is mercurial. Back to the order of today's business...

The first order of business was a meeting with my boss and another manager in the building. It was less troublesome than I thought. A big plus for the morning.

The second order of business was taking my temp out to lunch. Four of us made our way to an upscale sports bar. It was "okay" interspersed with moments of discomfort.

The third order of business was announcing the winner for the premier parking space. That was an unprecedented event as I had to announce a second winner. The first selection forfeited his prize because he had a new handicap tag for his vehicle allowing him to park next to the building. There are some perks to breaking your foot.

The fourth order of business was to round up people for a custom ordered surprise cake for the temp. Imagine my surprise when more than half of the invitees between both buildings had sudden excuses, most legit - some not or were non-responsive. (Yes, my lovelies, the surprise bit was sarcasm.) Bridget and I worked the floor to get more last minute attendees.

The fifth order of business was to track down the gift I ordered for the temp. I ordered online a pretty sterling silver hinged bangle bracelet with etched 18kt gold leaf overlay design. A couple of people chastised me for spending what I did. For me, I felt it was the right thing to do. This person is so desperate for outside validation and attention especially from me. I've been avoiding her because I didn't want to get sucked in her energy and start conversations that I would have to tap dance from. Sigh. It is during these times, my compassionate side prevails and understands that most antics are a call for love. How can I totally turn my back against her?

Not everyone is hopeless, but everyone can be lost and choose not to find themselves or work to find the path to understanding their place and role in the world. Is it on purpose? Perhaps they just don't know how and have never been taught. You and I know how our environment can shape us into what we don't want to necessarily be, but there we are...volunteers on a path we know nothing of as walk on it.

I made someone check the mailbox at work in the afternoon and my gift was there. The temp has to wait until tomorrow to receive it. It has been wrapped with care. The kind of care I took to put the package together is the kind that is reserved for people I truly care about. Everyone deserves a magical present to open...to feel that beat of anticipation as they take away the layers...and finally the delighted elation of taking off the boxtop revealing tissue and a velvet pouch containing shiny jewelry chosen just for them.

Whether any gratitude for the gift is expressed, it is of no importance to me. She has worked in my department for over two years and I have been the constant presence as previous co-workers and managers have moved on. Her hard work cannot be faulted and some measure of gratitude should be expressed to her. I would like for her to have a long lasting reminder she can see and feel -- an outward validation.


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Big Sticks and Silver Bullets

R&A's Baby Shower

Baking...Wrapping Gifts...Hanging out with my friends. What a great day!

This evening was a small co-ed baby shower for Rebecca and Ant. Their formal frou-frou brunch at a tea shop was earlier in the day. I was surprised they weren't as tired looking when they arrived which was great for the rest of us eager to celebrate with them.

I made decadent Chocolate Ganache Cupcakes for the cupcake tree. After one bite, I remembered why I don't make them often. You could pop them like pills they are so good. I sprinkled little dragees on top for decoration. The only thing that would have been better for me was if I had driven across town to find dark blue liners instead of the pastel ones. I was the only one really concerned about that detail.



Here are the smiling expectant parents. One of their funny gifts was a two-pack brick of Cafe Bustelo coffee (very strong!) for the late nights when Garrett decides he wants his parents not to have sleep.



This diaper cake I made faked out a few guests who thought it was a real cake. It almost didn't survive the car ride over. In case you want to make your own, here is the pattern I followed. In lieu of the booze, I put in a bottle of Pedialyte for the baby and put teething rings on the cake instead of stuffed animals. I would have loved to have made this Hawaiian version, but it was too girly.



Let me make this next pic clear: I DID NOT DO THIS! As pervy as I am it was not my doing that the sprinkles on the table ended up in compromising positions. AND NO I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED THAT I DIDN'T THINK OF IT FIRST. Mostly.



Kathy and Jamie put on a great party; there were about a dozen of us being crazy. Jamie was a good cookie by fulfilling my wish of cooking the bratwursts in beer and onion Jacuzzi. He put those babies in the slower cooker for several hours before grilling them. Hot damn they were tasty! Kathy drank a lot of wine and was still in one piece before I left. She came up with the best guess of what the first baby's word would be: mothertrucker. That is the exact word Ant says all the time.

For this original circle of friends (at least the last 10 years), this is the first baby among us. It makes me proud to say that I am very excited and in no way feeling bitter or sad. They are truly deserving and their baby boy will have one of the best set of parents a baby could have. How many days until their due date in November?


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R&A's Baby Shower

Hectic and Random

Hectic doesn't make for a zen day, does it? I found myself at 5am thinking about my boss' kid's school project. Why? I volunteered to burn his kid's video project from his video camera to a CD. He was bringing it to the office today which meant I had to bring a blank CD or DVD disc. I packed both. Bridget confirmed his concern at getting it done as soon as I walked in. It was completed a bit later.


My boss took us out to lunch and at the last minute, I dragged Sharon with us. Four of us found ourselves walking from our building across a couple of parking lots to the mall entrance. The Coconut Curry Chicken three of us had was too sweet. It has never been sweet. My thinking was that whomever prepped it got it too spicy and tried to mask the mistake with brown sugar instead of adding more coconut milk. This addition not only changed the taste but the once bright curry color to a drab yellow.


After conferring with the girls, I mentioned it to the waitress who brought the chef/manager and I asked if they had changed the recipe. To my surprise, he was a bit taken aback and defensive. He immediately proclaimed that he created it seven years ago. My reply was that I had been eating there for a few years. The chef went back to the kitchen to investigate only to return a few moments later a bit embarrassed. He had tasted it, agreed with me and then jokingly said that the other chef will be dealt with later plus that it would not taste like that tomorrow. All I could do was mentally roll my eyes. I didn't feel him to be deeply sincere. We scurried back to work soon after finishing. Whatever joy I've had for this restaurant quickly evaporated.


That's the thing...I've been mentally tallying and cross out things, people and food places that no longer give me joy. Perhaps this is the shake-up I really need. God knows there are already changes shaping up at work with my temp leaving at the end of the month. That's a long story I will bore you with next week as it happens.


One thing I have added to my plate is being part of a morale committee for our finance department in my building. I attended my first meeting this week and I received the strong impression that most of the members were happy with the status quo. Oh - boooooorrrrriiiinnnggg! Thank goddess I had met with one of my friends who is in it and together we came up with a plan of attack. Okay, I wrote ideas while she giggled ghoulishly. The meeting was going at a certain pace until I broke it by suggesting new ideas. Compared to previous months, next month's big activity will be quite lively. Can finance be lively? We'll see. It was my turn to send out the e-mail announcement for a separate monthly contest giving away the use of a reserved premier parking spot. Not too many glossed over that e-mail on Tuesday. Ha!

I haven't blogged properly in so long, I feel rusty...Random thoughts keep vying for attention. Please forgive me for jumping around. I'll write more as I get back into it. All I know right now is that I am relieved tomorrow is Friday.


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Hectic and Random

Hello...

Missed you more than you missed me. The time away from you feels like a forced abstinence of some sort. I won't go back and recreate the time lost so please don't expect it.

I have been riding the undulating waves of emotion from happiness to depression and back both at work and in my personal life. Sometimes when you don't give yourself space to process things and to listen to that quiet space, the Universe forces you to take time and reflect. Time out.

This is not a post post, but more of a Hi there. Hope you've been okay.

Still smiling,
agol
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Hello...

Hiccup

Been having issues with my laptop. Updating will resume shortly.

Meawhile...

"Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul."
-- St. Augustine


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Hiccup

Weak Week

Tuesday was a repeat of yesterday. For some reason being inside my building is making me tired. Maybe it is my cube. Do I need to re-feng shui my area? Hm. I will have to mull on that when I am not so tired.

The overall feeling I sense when I am at work is that I am in it, but I am not quite connected. It is as if I am watching events through the haze of a prophylactic barrier. The irony is that I am more engaged at work than ever. Perhaps the real reason for this type of protected connection, I think, is that I am holding myself at a distance from other people's drama. Does that make sense?

Sigh...

Kathy called me in the evening to let me know she's back from Wisconsin. She came back with her treasures of 25 lbs of apples and 20 lbs of cheese. Sounds like the makings for some kind of tart or a canceling effects of fiber and constipation. Good God my words are frightening this evening. I will definitely shelve this entry until I've had time to mull on it an extra day. Meanwhile, what is up with Hurricane Ike?


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Weak Week

Sunday Sloth

Sarah Sprinkles says (10:00 PM):
u there?
Tawny says (10:00 PM):
yep for a few more mins
Tawny says (10:00 PM):
whatcha doing
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:01 PM):
updating bloggie
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:01 PM):
trying to wind down...
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:01 PM):
but how do you wind down from...
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:01 PM):
being a sloth all day?
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:01 PM):
lmao
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:01 PM):
how are you?
Tawny says (10:02 PM):
sloth like also

<<...discussed weekend details...>>

Sarah Sprinkles says (10:05 PM):
today...sarah sloth
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:05 PM):
took a few long naps
Tawny says (10:05 PM):
i like sloth
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:05 PM):
lmfao
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:06 PM):
i was so slothlike that when trish called me about drama, she said that i sounded like i was asleep
Sarah Sprinkles says (10:06 PM):
when i answered the phone
Tawny says (10:06 PM):
lol


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Sunday Sloth

Filipino Babysitting

Today I was babysitting Sharon. Yes, she is older than me by two years. Don't get so technical. Ha! Sharon is like a Filipino sister to me (other than Angie). She lived in the Philippines until high school was over. When I mention certain things, she knows exactly what I am referring to and that comforts me somehow.

Picked up Sharon at the Cadillac dealership where her vehicle was scheduled for maintenance and a window tint. I drove us to Cracker Barrel near my place so she could have her lunch of Chicken and Rice and I could finally have breakfast at 11:30am. We were so famished and struggled to contain our shoveling of food into our mouths.

Sharon began her marathon training today; the six miles she ran earlier this morning resulted in her body craving real food. Me? I had been saving my appetite for the big dig, if you will. We shopped around in the country store after. I pressed everything that would animate and make noise while she went behind me to shut them off or hold the ones that were falling off their perch on the shelf until their animation cycle ended. Yes, I am a brat.

We watched Something New with Simon Baker at my place. She hadn't seen it before and we both love Simon Baker. I stopped it at a logical point so we could pick up her car and then return to my place to resume the movie. What I like about re-watching movies you haven't seen in a while is that you get to be surprised again.

We ordered Chinese and picked it up. We ate while we watched the riveting film Closer with Natalie Portman, Jude Law, Clive Owen and Julia Roberts...Ten minutes after she left for home, I found her still at the gasoline station filling up her car; she had gotten sidetracked talking to her husband first. We laughed as she saw me pulling up to the next pump. Silly girls.

PS Today was my cousin Angie's birthday. I left her a rather loud squawking rendition of Happy Birthday on her cellphone while I drove home from dropping Sharon off at the dealership.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANGELITA!!


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Filipino Babysitting

Sprightly

Friday is the only work day where it is legally okay to be sprightly. I am sure I read that somewhere. All I know was that I spent most of the day in a good mood energized with boundless energy.

One of our vendors took my boss and me to my favorite restaurant Maggiano's for lunch. We were able to slide into a prime parking spot and not wait for a table. That's where normal ended. For the first time in a little over 15 years I have been going to this restaurant (starting in Chicago), the table setting was less than pleasant. My napkin looked like it had been previously enjoyed and a couple of the bread plates had crumbs on them. What the hell?!

I announced to my table that I wanted to be the whiny bitch to deal with the waiter. They both agreed. After miming to the waiter to come around the table next to me, I explained to him that my napkin was crinkled and looked like it was previously enjoyed and told him about crumbs on the plates. He took the first few off the stack on the side of the table and I corrected him to take the whole thing. The waiter was apologetic and came back to take our order.

Luckily the food was still delicious until dessert. My boss and I decided to share a piece of chocolate cake. When it arrived to our table, this big wedge of chocolate monstrosity had a garish red wood-handled knife sticking out from it. WTF? The waiter saw my expression and quickly said he didn't put it in there. I told him that the kitchen should never do that as a presentation. It looks aggressive and unappetizing. Large beads of condensation had formed on the chocolate ganache enrobing the slice which told me that had been out of the refrigerator for more minutes than when we ordered. Sigh. It didn't taste as good as I remembered. I hope this experience was an anomaly...

A spreadsheet claimed my afternoon. The better portion was my responsibility to research thanks to a morning meeting. At some point a little after 5pm, my boss urged me to go home. I declined as I wanted to finish this project. There is a bigger project that deserves all of my attention next week. I left at 6pm and my energy was finally depleted though I still managed a few things in the evening. There was still enough energy to make myself a homemade meal, do a few loads of laundry in the evening including the slipcovers on my furniture and wash floors and clean some of the base boards. Is that sick or what?


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Sprightly

Resurfacing

My eyes were open before my alarm went off at 3:50am. How does that happen? Well, how ever it happens my butt was up and walking Cabal 10 minutes later in the dark. Barely awake, I struggled to focus my eyes and properly gaze at my twinkling long distance neighbors. The stars were still there even though I haven't seen them in a long time.

I arrived at work before any of my team. My nerves were frazzled from driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic but I was able to park in a spot very close to the elevators on the fourth floor. Less than an hour later, we were all making it towards the other building thanks to my boss' driving. He blamed me for having a meeting so early especially since the time I scheduled is around the time I normally arrive.

Let me share something with you...Lately, I felt more alive and engaged at work. I don't know what it is. Bridget even agreed with me when I asked her about it. I was more assertive and voluntary with ownership of things like "Okay, I'll do this and follow it up with that" kind of thing. The go-getter style I am known for has slowly resurfaced. My job is not my passion; however, it pays bills and makes expensive haircuts and hair color possible. I need to respect that privilege by being more present.

There was a pull from several people wanting my attention today. Not sure what kind of extra magnetism I was emitting, but it was familiar. Most people are very comfortable with me from the moment they meet me. Strangers are apt to touch my arm or pat me on the back while others more familiar with me like to play with my long hair or come up and hug me. It is the damnedest thing. Today, for whatever reason, a few dinners with other people that have been canceled for whatever reason have now been rescheduled on my calendar.

The traffic going home was brutal. Some really cool upbeat music calmed my nerves some along with my impromptu call to Kathy while she is on her Wisconsin vacation with her boyfriend. She is a fish out of water there when it come to cuisine. Meat is king in Wisconsin thanks to the dairy empires. You may recall that Kathy is my favorite vegetarian. Still, she makes it work with cheese and vegetables including the apples she just picked.

Dinner was a simple spinach omelet. It was quick and healthy...As I've been updating you, I've been watching Gordon Ramsay revisiting Kitchen Nightmares. So far most of the disaster kitchens he's helped have improved at least 30% a year later. He's a hard ass but he's good. I am not necessarily interested in opening my own restaurant one day even though I get urgings often. It is my evil queen Martha Stewart I would like to emulate a bit. If not, I've always had an itch to open a whole shopping plaza with shops of an exotic flavor. The plans and ideas are within my PC sitting in my Creative Room. The day will come for these children of my mind to be truly born. Meanwhile, I need to starting thinking of heading for bed. My boss was inspired to schedule and equally early meeting tomorrow -- on a Friday for crissakes! Sacrilege. (Wink)


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Resurfacing

Concise Assessment

A few days into the new month and my first day back inside the office since I left it on Thursday. That could almost be the brief yet concise assessment of the day. Oh, you might be interested in nuances I suppose.

I tried to stay away from the fringes of drama from other people's lives. For example, my boss' three-year old refrigerator died yesterday after a fresh trip to the grocery store ($300) and he replaced it the same day for $2500 on a new one because his wife refused to live one day without one. The plainer one was not in stock, but the more expensive one was available. And there they went...Bridget had a cold which meant that she was not in a tolerable mood...Other people were just freakish while I tried to maintain my stillness amidst the frazzled energy.

This post is early as I have to be at work very much earlier than normal in the morning -- I scheduled a meeting early in the other building. It would be a good idea to be present. Ha!

My mind is jammed with information from today and I am trying to wind down. The adage to sleep on it may come into play here. The information is not really important or relevant to me; however, the fact that I have more or less isolated myself the past several days kept me from absorbing other people's energies, nervous energies. Let's hope tomorrow provides a better post. Maybe I'll find something more fun for you to enjoy. Sweetest dreams.


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Concise Assessment