Maltesers & Modigliani

This could very well be the longest week of note. Wednesday is supposed to be "hump day" or the midweek celebration to the weekend. I was buried in contract renewals and invoice research thanks my company's split from the mother ship. A new company owns us now and we are still sifting through dozens of contracts. Could it be any more dullsville? I'd rather get a thorough physical from a doctor who has poor depth perception.

The highlights to my day were e-mails from Yummy, an IM conversation with Yummy and a night in at my friend British Jeff's home with friends and his two sons.

Every so often B. Jeff has movie night as his home where we watch a movie his sons would like. We order pizza and the adults drink beer and wine. Tonight we had the unholy crew of Jeff and Tawnyia, Anthony and Rebecca, B. Jeff, his sons and me. We watched a Pixar film called, "Cars" which we mostly enjoyed.

After pizza and halfway through the film, B. Jeff brought out the British chocolates he bought at a Brit store near his home. It was Galaxy and Malteser heaven for all of us. The last time we had these delicious treats was when his very nice mum Joyce brought them last month from Liverpool.

Here are some empty wrappers from what Tawnyia and I shared and no we didn't share the big bottle of Aussie wine in the background. She shared with her husband and I had Mexican beer.

B. Jeff is in the market to sell his home thanks to his recent and well-deserved divorce from his ex-wife. His real estate company helped him out by rearranging his home and bringing in some more homey touches since it was been somewhat of a bachelor pad until his sons recent move in. All this rigmarole to put the house in a better light for buyers.

The real estate ladies miscalculated one thing -- the painting below that hung over the fireplace. Could be this be the least friendly face to greet you when you walk in? Holy hell! Her slits for eyes must glow red when you're not looking not to mention they seem to follow you everywhere you go. Poor artist Modigliani must've been in need of some serious therapy!

We had a howling good time dissecting this choice of art. Medusa could be a rival to this face. The boys, also ghouls, had fun enacting different scenarios of what 'Modigliani' was doing while you slept. They teased me that my phone was now cursed because I took the picture to post on my blog.

B. Jeff and Anthony switched the picture for a friendlier one on the other side of the fireplace facing the swimming pool. The fireplace was installed on a freestanding wall and can be enjoyed from both sides either in the dining room or the living room. I'm thinking the feng shui level in this house is now balanced.

Now I must decide whether to smudge my house with smoke from burning white sage or sprinkle sea salt in the corners to ward of Modigliani's curse. F**k it, I am going to sleep. My powers of evil are way stronger. Ha!

Maltesers & Modigliani

Happy Moments and Butt Paste

Something must have shifted in the space-time continuum if a Monday becomes too enjoyable while you are at work. Maybe wormholes crossed and some kind of feelgood space dust started to get piped into the atmosphere or maybe it's just good to be happy.

It started with a sweet offline message from Yummy, followed by a funny conversation with my boss about the cooler weather and horrrrible traffic this morning and continued from there with the silliest conversations with Tawnyia and funny e-mails from Yummy.

Even with a busy workload, I still found time during coffee and tea breaks with Tawnyia to get into the most ridiculous conversations. We were even in the restroom howling with laughter and not being able to breathe properly...obviously we were the only village idiots in there.

One that got us going was recalling a conversation with Michelle in the office. She took a part-time job at Target and found herself a couple of weeks ago in the baby aisle and happened upon a baby product called Boudreaux’s Butt Paste which is a diaper rash ointment. The name struck her funny and then she decided to get a tube of it as part of her friend's birthday gift as a gag.

Two weeks later at lunch today, Michelle tells us that she let her zany girlfriend named Billie, who always seems to get herself innocently into compromising positions, actually apply some of this 'butt butter' on her face. Tawnyia and I reacted with horror (we say the R, honey) on why she would let such a thing happen. We all burst into endless giggles.

Michelle's butt butter episode was accompanied by her telling of a middle-aged man coming into Target obsessed with finding a product with retinol and other eye wrinkle items to which I asked, "Did you tell him to go and get some Preparation H?" Apparently, not everyone knows to use hemorrhoid cream around the eye because everyone stared at me like I was a crackbaby. If beauty queens have used this beauty secret for years during competitions, it would be good enough for him. Amazingly enough, the guy did get some in his basket without being prompted. My man knew his eye products...

Of course, it didn't end there. I gave Tawnyia a ride home and she left me with a hysterical visual of what British porn might sound like compared to American porn. I will not even get into it, but it would remind you of what the Queen might be like when she decides to get it on...now. I am surprised I was able to drive home.

Thank Goddess I got a reprieve with a catch-up conversation with Kristey which still had some laughing business, but not too painful. (Yesterday was crazy enough.) I just couldn't take anymore laughing for today. I actually got a headache. Now for some aspirin...and they say laughter is the best medicine!

Happy Moments and Butt Paste

Sundae with Cherry on Top

Within an hour of getting up from my bed, I found myself talking to Yummy who had already been up for hours in his timezone. I had hot tea with milk and sugar while we chatted for a long while. We broke for our own separate agendas, he with his writing and me with my nail appointment and Wal-Mart run to get dog food for Cabal and other sundries.

My nail tech always tries to upsell me with crazy nail designs and airbrush goodies. I try to gently explain to her that I work in a corporate setting and it would not be good to have 'tramp-o-lina' nails, but she perseveres by saying it would make me look younger. What...like 12? I hold my own and she agrees to a Bing Cherry red color instead of the French manicure from last time.

I didn't have breakfast or lunch so I can only blame me taking this photo due to 'low sugar'. I laughed when I saw this and thought it would be the kind of gift Yummy would get for Cabal. They have a bit of a rivalry going on...mano a doggo. Go figure.

When I got home, I quickly realized that the watch I picked out for the day hadn't been changed to Daylight Savings Time and ended up a little late for another call with Yummy. I thought I had changed all of them!

This poor man is just getting some serious feminine culture shock from me. I somehow ended up explaining how acrylic nails can be applied the first time. He chimed in by asking if I had nail extensions and I said yes. Where he got that from I don't know, but he was trying to follow when he wasn't laughing hysterically especially after I called my nail lady a nail technician.

I also told him about an incredible story with a large lizard who came into my apartment when I first moved in. It is too long and too embarrassing to tell but suffice it to say, Yummy is finding out more about me each minute. He must be a glutton for punishment because he still keeps coming back. Life with me is never a dull moment, but it is all in good fun.

We hung up since he apparently needs his 'beauty sleep'. I caught up on my blog and spent the rest of the evening by relaxing. It was a nice way to end the weekend. Now for sleep before a busy week at work.

Sundae with Cherry on Top

Secret Geek

The one thing most people don't know about me is that I am a secret geek. Science has always interested me and maybe a little math. I even did some basic computer programming in junior high school in the mid-80's. I've worked in two IT shops and most of my friends are in IT. With all that said, I am not an "IT" person, but I can sure program the clock on my own VCR.

The geeky things that interest me now are neurolinguistic programming (NLP), quantum physics, food science, parapsychology, science fiction, social psychology and cultural and linguistic anthropology. Not exactly light reading for a former make-up artist, but definitely a lot of fun.

It would seem that my secret geekiness was utilized at least twice recently by me adding a customized javascript on my blog to help me countdown the days for an important event and also by helping my cousin Florida install software and a photo printer this afternoon. How do I get into things that I am trying to avoid? I'd rather keep the whole thing cerebral so that there is no outward evidence...

A cute geeky thing today was e-mailing Yummy at a few intervals during the day. He kept replying and I know he had a really busy day out. I e-mailed him from my apartment in the morning, then at my cousin Florida's early afternoon and again at my friend Kathy's a few hours later when I went to pick her up so I could take her to the airport to rent a car for her vacation. I loved using her Sony Vaio -- what a killer video card! The colors were incredibly sharp and clear. Did I mention geek gadgets were hot?

The secret is out now. I am a geek who just happens get her hair and nails done, wear a make-up like a pro and practices being a domestic diva. There are still realms of geekdom I need to explore, but only one byte at a time for now.

Secret Geek

Special Delivery

Our office receptionist sends me several e-mails a week letting me know that I have special deliveries which are usually computer software and hardware I have ordered for someone. The preview of the e-mail blipped on the bottom right-hand part of my screen. I trekked up to her area and awaited the boxes that were surely to be handed to me. Today was different...no boxes.

What awaited me was the most breathtaking vase of blooms I've seen. It was an overwhelmingly huge arrangement of color. Stunned. Arrested. Speechless. I began to shake inside and feel the warm blush that sure covered my face. I read the card to confirm that it was from Yummy. No wonder he was quiet on the e-mail this morning!

The picture below does not do this beautiful gift justice:

Blooms of Snapdragons, Roses, Lilies, Carnations and other wild too precious flowers.

Clusters California Wax Flowers surrounded the arrangement.

After taking what seemed an interminable trek back to my desk, I set the vase down. I soon discovered it was rather voluminous. I was afraid to accidentally tip the vase so I had to put it up on the overhead cabinet of my cube. It became a giant beacon that a dozen or so co-workers had to come and investigate. The ladies were envious and the men were very impressed. They could see it from the other side of the floor. Yes, everyone was 'properly sickened' at the generous display.

Goddess knows that I am not one to expect or require tokens of adoration. To me, it is about the other person wanting to send or give the gift because they want to and not about you wanting and expecting as if by right then receiving the gift because the other person felt guilted into it. I've seen too many women display this crass trait.

This time I didn't mind 'receiving'. Of course it took me a thank you e-mail to Yummy and a picture of the arrangment as proof of receipt to get used to the idea. Twenty minutes later, I also gave into the instinctual urge to call him on his cell phone in London. I was ready to receive his voicemail when his sexy voice answered. The call was awkward since neither one of us expected the call, but I would've been very disappointed in myself for not calling and just leaving things up to e-mail.

We did discuss things further later when I got home and the commotion he caused. I teased him that even the International Space Station called to say how beautiful the arrangement was from their vantage point. I was deeply rewarded by hearing his laughter.

I must also properly thank the blooms for allowing me to enjoy their glory and beauty especially as they slowly open to smile at me in the next few days. They are going to be gorgeous!

Real Fortune Today: For light, go directly to the source of the light, not any reflections.
Learn Chinese: Telephone (Dian-hua)

Special Delivery

Before You Know It

Who stole Monday and Tuesday? It's Wednesday and I'm not quite sure how it got here. It must've been the rain that brought it in. It's been grey and rainy not to mention cooler in Trampa today. It would've been a perfect 'baking day'. Hmmm...making chocolate chip cookies, snuggles with my adorable Yummy or both?

Work is finally waking me up from the daze I've felt all month. I think I found my work mojo; it was behind the laser printer the whole time! How ever I found it, I am on it like white on rice. Goddess knows how much I love rice -- it runs through my veins!

I was glad I listened to my instincts this morning before I left work by grabbing a blank note card with a sweet cartoon scene by Mary Engelbreit on laughter printed on the front. I wrote a joke and greeting to one of the girls at work, Nikki. She is such a sweet lady but has been going through new meds for her recent ailment. She was delighted to get the card and she laughed at the silly joke inside. Nikki has been trying to manage her pain, but was miserable some days. Laughing was her best medicine this afteroon...

My boss pre-approved my vacation in the Spring. He is not set up correctly in the system and therefore has to get his SVP's approval, too. I have a laundry list of items I need to get done and have organized prior to taking the time off. I believe I have Cabal's care figured out that will satisfy both of us. He didn't do well the last time I left him for a long period of time at the pet resort and spa which sounds grander than it is, but well worth the money. I may have one of my girlfriends stay at my apartment. I still have time to iron that out.

The biggest thing right now is for me to just buckle down and practice good time management which can be a challenge. I get distracted so easily especially if I am being forced to focus. I may see something shiny in the corner of my eye that just begs to be seen. Oh, that was just gloss from the pictures at my desk. Sigh.

I need some creative outlet. It's been months since I've been to any art festival or art store. I may have to scour around for something interesting or really different. The art season is at hand so I must make plans with Jeff and Tawnyia to join them around town. We have fun at those and get ideas for lampwork beads, paper and textile arts, pottery, and beading jewelry. I still have to visit their studio space downtown. If only we had real time to devote to this kind of fun instead of 'working for The Man'. How anti-establishment we are, but bills still have to be paid with the day job... (I hate The Man.)

Dinner tonight was from the Chinese joint nearby. I had a serious jones for some soup, but I got a variety of stuff for lunch, too. Will have to add some ginger to the wonton soup before I bring it in to work. Hey, is it vacation time yet?

Real Fortune Today: Don't let your limitations overshadow your talents.
Learn Chinese: Egg (Ji-dan)

Before You Know It

Picture Perfect

Starting my day at the auto parts store to get new bulbs for my tail lights is not my idea of waking up. Good thing Dunkin' Donuts was next door where I went through the drive-thru to get an iced latte afterwards. I was not only zooming from the caffeine, I was zooming through the interstate at 75mph while blasting whatever groovy music was playing.

I arrived at my aunt's home about 45 minutes before she returned from church services with my uncle and Nan. It would give me time to scan about a dozen pictures or so and e-mail them before my visit. I used my key to get in and began my task. No sooner than I sat down on the chair that the phone rang. I checked Caller ID and it was my cousin Florida. Chatted with her and her husband for a few minutes and agreed for me to visit them the following weekend.

Wouldn't you know it, my cell phone rang soon after that call. Only this time it was my friend Trisha in San Francisco wishing me a belated birthday and relating a hilarious story about catching animals in her yard with a trap. She has to be the one to tell it...

Sometimes you just have to get over the embarrassment of scanning pictures of yourself in range from infant to 19 to send out. I have very few pictures of myself during this time so I do treasure what ones I have and prominently display them in my apartment. The pictures were meant for Yummy and later when I spoke to him, he said that he did enjoy them. He sent one of him at age 14 during our call. Of course, he was cute even then! Sickening...

Everyone came home while I was still scanning pictures. My aunt prepared three different Filipino dishes for me as part of my birthday present. (Yes, I am still celebrating.) I enjoyed it immensely and she did too when we shared them. My uncle doesn't like the more exotic Filipino food and neither does Nan so they ate entirely different items. For dessert I had steamed rice muffins flavored with coconut milk and a bit of anise. I took home some more muffins and some of the dishes my aunt made for later in the week.

Today is also my dad's birthday and I ended up e-mailing him a black and white picture of him at 19 and his "cowboy" picture when he was dating my mother, a portrait where he wore western cut clothing and a cowboy hat. He is quite handsome and he was very shocked to see them in his e-mail. We laughed about it when I called him. He's 65, but looks easily 10 years younger. Dad also mentioned that he had been sorting through photos and I had a stack he was sending to me. I hope it is the set of pictures from a particular album which would round out my own collection.

It was fun to look back at pictures today and share them. I'm glad the pictures I sent reminded me of better times. The past can have a way of catching up with us when we least expect it in little innocent messengers such as childhood pictures. I guess the key is to surround and create for ourselves pictures we would like to see...happy ones.

Picture Perfect

Salon Saturday

My hair appointments are usually in the morning and not at 2PM like it was today. You get what you get when you make your appointment at the last minute. Michelle, my hairdresser, didn't mind. She said she missed me over the holidays.

Kristey was the one who recommended her over a year ago and I've been happier ever since. Changing hairdressers is much like breaking off a serious relationship; it is an emotional ordeal. For ten years, I had a relationship with my male hairdresser that lasted through about six jobs for me and five salons for him.

It wasn't until our last year that he really started working on my nerve. I don't know if he was always insensitive or had developed an insensitivity with his last boytoy. Whatever it was I was fed up. His comments to me and about some of the people we both knew were reprehensible. I knew the one thing he hated was not having closure so I didn't give it to him. I never showed up for my last appointment with him, ignored his calls, ignored his queries through my other friends who went to him in the weeks that came and just stopped talking to him altogether.

Michelle was starting to fall into this break-up category the latter part of last year. She was consumed with her husband's infidelity, but still wanted him and was willing to take him back if he would just admit to the affair that he so stubbornly denied even with blatant evidence in their home. Kristey and another lady we knew were ready to jump ship, but like loyal girlfriends, we all stayed. Her divorce was final two months ago and she seems to have eased into a less intense obsession with her ex-husband. Thank goddess. I have to sit in her chair for three hours for a cut and color!

My secret about Michelle is that she reminds me of my late mother. I was so stunned the first time I saw her. The likeness was uncanny. My mother was Filpina and Michelle is Korean, go figure. (Contrary to popular belief, not all Asians look the same.) She enjoys making people look and feel beautiful. I, for one, am never disappointed at the results.

If Michelle really worked my nerve, I think I would stay simply because she makes me feel like a kid again. We joke endlessly and talk about the Asian part of our life. We have an understanding of things and how to appreciate the good the comes in our lives. We each have had our own bittersweet memories, but we know that laughing can make it better not to mention a good salon trip. Even if you feel like crap, at least you'll look like a million bucks.

As Fernando says from SNL, "It's better to look good than to feel good, dahling. You look mahvelous!"

Salon Saturday

Dancing with Dragonflies

This story was never meant to be published anywhere, but it is demanding it be told to the world since it keeps coming up...

Some of my best and worst memories come from living the first 11 years of my life in the Philippines. I was an only child to my mother until she remarried later when we moved the States. While I had a multitude of neighborhood kids and a cousin who were my playmates, I was still the only child in my house with too much time to spend satisfying rampant curiosities.

I am grateful that I did live in a tropical place where a myriad of plants and insects surrounded me. The bright colors of flowers and dark green glossy leaves from trees and bushes were painted for me most everywhere I turned. The diamondlike grains of sand played peek-a-boo in between the growing blades of grass on the ground. The tropical breezes would lift strands of my long dark brown hair near my face like little banners. The sun seemed like the pupil of God's eye while the cerulean blue sky his iris which revealed everything and shared his warmth on my skin while I made my way around the yard chasing and catching dragonflies. I must have been between the ages of 7 and 9. It was idyllic.

My dragonflies were everywhere it seemed. I used to catch them with small cello bags and sometimes small clear glass jars. I would hold them by their wings and stare for an eternity, imprinting them on my psyche. Some had avocado green bodies with black stripes and others had iridescent purplish blue bodies. Their wings were capillaries of black that actually breathed if you really looked at them - their long tails breathed, too. Watching them expand and contract held me mesmerized. Their eyes seemed too big for their bodies while their legs tickled my child size fingers when I brushed them. If I was lucky, I would catch one that had eggs on her belly. I was fascinated because she would hold onto them dearly when I tried to touch them.

Children are often times are blessed with ignorance and naivete. In this case I was grateful since I used to tear some of the dragonflies' wings and keep them in the jar while I made paper wings for them using lined school notebook paper. There would be a slit in the middle of the ribbon where I would insert what wings were left and I would gently spread them over the paper. I would then carry them in the open yard and throw them in the sky so they could fly away...but they didn't. They fell among the blades of grass. I found them only by the telltale white paper ribbons that were supposed to be their new wings.

I didn't give up. I would fling them again in the air where we would play the same game over and over. I would get disappointed and I couldn't fathom why they wouldn't fly. Somehow I did know why but I wouldn't let myself let the teasing mist of darkness invade my thoughts. I would end up slipping their new wings off and I would gently set them either on a flower or hide them in a blade of grass where they would magically have flown away when I tried to find them again the next time.

Since then my dragonflies have forgiven me and have become harbingers of good luck or a message of my beloved mother thinking of me as if to say, "Smile honey...only good things today".

On the evening of November 21st last year, a giant dragonfly was on the number plate on my door. It's wings spanning horizontally on the whole plate. I was in awe and knew that something really good was coming. I felt it in my soul. I will never forget the feeling as long as I live. My winged visitor stayed for a long time even when let myself inside my apartment and going back out later checking on it. I took a photo on my phone, but it is too dark to make out.

I did go out that evening, but when I returned it was gone only to be found on the wall across the way opposite my door before I closed it. It demanded to be recognized. I thanked it for visiting and went inside. Since then only good things keep coming around. I even found a new playmate to start chasing new species of dragonflies on his island. That will be fun!

Dancing with Dragonflies

It's Froggy Outside

Weather is just one of the hazards of living near water. Trampa is right next to the Gulf of Mexico and also has the Atlantic Ocean nearby in the east, two bodies of water enjoying a ballroom dance in weather patterns. Today was very froggy (foggy) in Trampa, visibility in driving was challenging. Thank goddess it did burn off later in the day and was replaced by sunshine.

Mother Nature must be having a bad case of premenstrual syndrome. Her mood swings around the world is just reminding us we are visitors on her Earth. Snow in Malibu where there was just some fire. I've been there several times and just cannot imagine a single snowflake kissing a the leaf on one of their majestic palm trees.

Received an e-mail from Yummy describing the windy conditions on his way to work. Tawnyia sent me a link to the news of European weather from cnn.com and forwarded to Yummy since it showed picture of the pier in his hometown with giant waves crashing upon it thanks to the strong winds. London and surrounding cities were having hurricane winds and Heathrow canceled many flights while several people had lost their lives because of the inclement conditions across Europe. Yummy was able to leave work early and make it home okay. The winds were really crazy; the lights were flickering on and off while he made dinner.

I have to brag: My brilliant Yummy was "big and clever" by fixing his own boiler that had been acting up. The plumber did talk him through it over the phone (at no charge) and he was successful! I've seen enough home improvement shows especially years of "This Old House" to know that this can be tricky. I am so proud of him. There is apparently no end to his talents.

When I left work, I felt a cold breeze. I wonder if Trampa will get winter this year. The last time we really had any cooler temps was in late October. I haven't had to switch from Air Conditioning to Heat in my apartment which I keep at 70 degrees. Thanks in advance to Mother Nature for continued good weather and a prayer that she is more gentle elsewhere. Although, I am starting to really enjoy the fog.

It's Froggy Outside

Too Damn Cute

Waking up grumpy is usually never a good sign. I was still ticked off the day before from finding out that when I renew my lease on my apartment in April, it will go up significantly. Living in Trampa is getting so expensive especially where I live. The place is nice and is central to everyone I know and places I go. What are ya gonna do? Sign on the dotted line I guess. Aargh. This grumpy action carried on through my drive to work and traffic was a bear on the non-highway route, but it was not really any worse than normal.

I arrived at work with a mental laundry list of things I needed to get done so I could take my mind of things, but I very quickly perked up from an offline message from Yummy. He took the day off to take care of things and he would be online during the day if I wanted to send him messages. If he could get anymore adorable, I would just burst with it!

After saying hellos and such, I told him that we could send peek-a-boo messages all day while I worked. Thank Goddess I can multi-task especially with dual monitors at my disposal. I did bebop to the upper floor suite and check in incoming software. I was busy mooning over him while I did that activity. Open box...smile...take out licensed software and invoice...smile... I could've given myself cavities!

Work is not holding much interest right now especially with the big transition we've been going through. Reading vendor agreements and contracts is just dullsville...My contractor just found out she will be renewed until February which falls short the permanent offer she was expecting. Poor thing has been overselling herself and is starting to work people's nerves. Hasn't she ever heard of subtlety? Things can change; I did try to cheer her up with that news. Not sure if she was convinced after the letdown. Nothing like starting a group meeting later in the day with this bit of news.

Lunch was thankfully hilarious. I couldn't do the crossword from the paper I bought from laughing at the silly comics and being bad with galpal Jill. She gets too cute when she is funny. We share the same kind of humor...earthy. Our human resource manager has a habit of walking in at a certain time to see if he can learn anything new from us, but mostly he hustles to get his coffee, smiles and heads back to the executive side with his head shaking. He's afraid to be alone with us...not that I blame him. My motto with Jill: Wild Women Do and They Don't Regret It. I know..classy. Have some BMA cookies then.

Meanwhile, back at Yummy Ranch...there was a lot of exchange going on. I wish I could explain in detail about this man, but I can't or is that won't? He is just wonderful and way too cute for his own good. I just want to gobble him up he's so adorable. It's not just looks, it is the stuff he says and does. We'll just leave it at that.

The drive home was okay and I was no longer grumpy. I walked the dog and got the mail and received another birthday gift, this time from Kristey. She sent me this card with a disco ball in the front and "Happy Birthday Dancing Queen" inside. Yep, she knows me. I also received a gift card at Barnes & Noble bookstore, a metal bookmark with flower design and Thoreau quote to go inside the book in my package. The book is entitled, DAILY AFFLICTIONS The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe. It is pure comedy with its crushing life insights. Kristey is too cute for sending me this stuff.

I am projecting something in the universe, but I am not sure if it is cuteness. It is what is being reflected back. Isn't that too damn cute?

Too Damn Cute

Hypnos, Morpheus and Me

Strange relationships have been a staple in this Asian Goddess' life but no stranger than her relationship with Hypnos, the god of sleep and Morpheus, the god of dreams.

Hypnos and I just can't get along. I live on about four hours of sleep a night and have been doing so since I was a teenager. My body does surrender on the weekends when I have nothing planned. I sleep seemingly endlessly where time doesn't exist and before I know it dusk has fallen.

I recall during summer vacations where I would end up sleeping long hours during the day and be awake all night. My own circadian rhythm wreaking havoc on my person thus creating a vampirelike existence. I enjoyed it because it was quiet at night. Humans were quiet and I couldn't hear their collective thoughts.

Hypnos steals my mind during the day at work. It's being awake, but watching the day go by and being aware that you are responding to the day properly but not quite being present because you are not where you want to be or doing what your heartsong is demanding you honor by not letting the music die within you.

Morpheus is the little devil who haunts me when I do sleep. He teases me with bizarre stories and precognitive scenes. Because of this, I experience more deja-vu than anyone I know. He needs to leave me alone more or I'll have to drink more wine to induce a longer sleep so he won't. I just can't do that either so Hypnos and Morpheus win again.

The only time Hypnos gets somewhat violent is when I refuse him and my body begins to sicken starting at my stomach and I know I must comply with his will. The more I refuse, the more my body pains and I just have to succumb...

Yummy is five hours ahead of me. I am selfish with his time, he needs to take the "outs" I give him otherwise he will not get the sleep his body and mind require to function. If he refuses like I do, Hypnos may start to play with him, too. I wouldn't want that since he is so yummy when he is awake. Maybe I am his substitute Hypnos? I just love to hear and really listen his voice; it soothes me something fiercer than any enticements Morpheus would tease me with before sleep.

Some say you can sleep when you're dead. Some need seven to eight hours of solid sleep to function. Some just need a "power nap" during the day to get by. I just need to sleep.

Hypnos, Morpheus and Me

I Say It's My Birthday...Gonna Have a Good Time!

Asian Goddess of Love turns 36 today! Officially making my way to being an old haggis.

I took my time getting up, but realized later that I had to hustle. Birthday wishes via phone calls, text messenging and e-mail began coming in at 9:16am which made my Sunday morning routine moot. I am so blessed with a loving group of friends and family. It makes me so proud to be me.

Breakfast was skipped since I was meeting Dianne for lunch. I just love Dianne -- she is one of my dearest friends. It is always by accident that we dress up in the same or complimenting colors when we meet. People must think we're a couple. She's cute so I don't really care; however, her husband would probably like to entertain the idea.

We met at Boston's in Trampa near the Veteran's Expressway. She had a Pomegranate Mojito and I had a Pomegranate Martini to start. They were delicious! We progressed to each ordering The Italian Trio which we both took some leftovers home, but we couldn't quite make our dessert of Apple Crisp a la Mode home. Dianne was sick of all the holiday chocolate so this was nice relief.

After we finished lunch, I decided to get my nails done before my date with Yummy. I was almost late, but he ended up late since his computer was acting up. We shared wine and talked a lot. Being with him was a perfect ending to my birthday weekend.

I get to do more birthday celebrating over the coming week and definitely next weekend with family where they can remind me of my impending trek up to 40. Loving it!


I want to share this quote on a mug given to me by Jeff & Tawnyia this weekend. They saw it and thought of me. These are now my birthday affirmations:

live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose with no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.

-- mary anne radmacher

I Say It's My Birthday...Gonna Have a Good Time!

Mellow Mushroom -- Hold the Mellow!

It is finally my birthday weekend. It's all good especially if you have family and friends to celebrate with you...

I started the celebration with lunch at my favorite restaurant Maggiano's in Trampa with my good friend Myrna who has never been there. Her husband doesn't like Italian food so we went by ourselves where we ended up splitting everything we ordered from the killer calamari I've been craving for over a month now, salad, pasta with chicken in marsala sauce and the "mutha" of all desserts, Chocolate Zuccoto Cake. Oh...my...Goddess! We made an admirable dent in it and I took the rest home which is enough for another two sittings. After that we shopped and she drove me back home so I could take a nap before Jeff and Tawnyia picked me up for dinner.

The three of us met Kathy and Jaime at The Mellow Mushroom in Brandonia which is a really funky fun pizza joint to celebrate Tawnyia's actual birthday and mine (tomorrow!). I knew we were having pizza ahead of time so nothing of normal pizza freakishness was present. We had a great time joking around. It is always "open season" when we get together; you just have to have thick skin around us.

Jaime just found out that I have the "Benny Hill" theme as my ringtone. He said he could just imagine me in my apartment with the phone ringing and running around searching for the phone while Pretty Boy Dog chased me around. He is just really evil! I was exhausted from laughing.

Jeff and Tawnyia took me home and they opened their Christmas gift from me which was a proper rice cooker and a side bag of long grain rice. I still owe them a large body bag of jasmine rice. As part of the Asian community, I can no longer allow them to torture themselves with converted rice. My ancestors are turning in their graves because they are the last of my friends who do not have a proper rice cooker. Besides that -- they need to start supporting my people!

Mellow Mushroom -- Hold the Mellow!

Freaky Friday

Some days are just for the dogs. Today was one of them. I had to relay a part of my job to the contractor for the day which made her happy since she was bored while I had the dubious honor of writing up my performance appraisal.

Words are usually not elusive to me, but they were hiding when I tried to create a detailed summary of my professional accomplishments in the past year. I dawdled by reading the instructions on how to complete the online submission and I overanalyzed my previous manager's quarterly goals for me. I did finish...no choice since it was due with no exceptions. Now I get to wait for my company's response which should be soon.

To lessen the sting of these appraisals, we got an announcement today for the nominees for President's Club which is a trip to the Virgin Islands in April. I was one of them. The nominations are done by your peers with detailed justification on why you should be rewarded. I think I know who nominated me and I did help her by facilitating the purchase of large dollar software and maintenance needs. It required a lot of research and proper assignment to the R&D group. I am apathetic about being able to go, but it was nice to be nominated. I am very lucky that I do get my fair share of praises from peers to my manager. Even our president knows who I am and the good reviews attached to me. I can't decide if that is a bad thing or a good thing.

The cherry on top of my day was having an almost bizarre date with Yummy. He ate pizza and I just had two big glasses of Australian Cabernet Savignon on an empty tummy. Did I get giggly and silly! Poor thing. We told jokes and laughed a lot. I explained some of my OCD habits and how long it takes me from start to finish to get ready in the morning (1 - 1.5 hours!). He needs to be prepared for these things. I have explained how extremely feminine I am before, but you just never know. It was the best date I've had in a while -- I wasn't looking for an escape hatch! Our times for now are very unique, but I don't feel it any less real or significant...He knows why.

Now I get to prepare for a very busy birthday weekend. I have two lunchdates and two dinner dates. Exhaustion from laughing all weekend will be the antidote to a long work week.

Freaky Friday

Fantasy Island

Remember when Mr. Roarke would welcome everyone and say, "Smiles, everyone... smiles"? I took him at his word so I was a smiling fiend all day.

Now just waiting for Tattoo to say, "Da plane. Da plane."

Fantasy Island

Blue Goddess

No snow in Canada and Illinois...Twenty-eight inches of snow in Colorado...It was just 83 degrees a few days ago and now Trampa has a high today of 64 degrees. What is happening?

The changes have been the cause of my headaches the last two days I think. All I wanted was a blanket to keep me warm and cozy while the ibubrofen worked its magic. Of course, they had obstacles called reading contracts and making comments on them to go through while still doing their regular job. I am a creative person and having me deal with this kind of BS is just insufferable! (Hundreds of dollars worth of art supplies are atrophying in my second bedroom.) How the heck did I end up in the finance department? Maybe I should try sales? They did offer me a position there a few months ago.

I now have to start taking my online class for a certification exam. I received the 90-day notice of expiration. Has it been a year since I registered? For a mere $25, I can have the deadline extended beyond the 90 days. My boss is okay with it, but we are just so swamped with ramping up our area that even with the extension, I may have to get another extension for the friggin' extension...

For the first time in a few years, I am actually planning a vacation instead of just reacting to available time off by making plans. I almost had to womp somebody down who was stepping on my planned time. Transatlantic trip vs. a martial arts weekend? HELLO! No comparison especially if the latter is by a temp. Does not the permanent employee get first preference?

I called Tawnyia on the way home since she took today off; she needed to get away from work. Maybe I should've done that, but there is too much to do. I am too much of a responsible worker bee. Why do I even have a conscience?

She made omelettes for dinner for her family and I was craving Filipino comfort food...a soup made with tamarind mix, bok choy, tiny pork ribs for flavor, chopped Asian eggplant, and Chinese long beans. Ladle over jasmine rice and add a few dashes of soy sauce. Didn't happen. Changed my mind to get Chinese takeout, but that didn't happen either. Once Tawnyia mentioned omelettes, I wanted to make one with spinach. Didn't happen once more. She knows I am blaming her tomorrow for not getting some kind of Asian food.

I did have some comfort food in the soup I made with chicken broth, jasmine rice, frozen chopped spinach, big pinch of sea salt, fresh ground pepper and a bay leaf. It was very simple, but now making me sleepy from the warmth. I better go find my blanket.

Blue Goddess

Oh My Stars!

The only thing that saved me from having a really monotonous day at work was IM'ing with Yummy and having him read my astrological chart. That was definitely a novel experience. Just not used to having a man read for me. Slightly sexist, I know, but I survived it.

Not sure if he really knows, but I did study astrology for about a year and a half which is not enough time if you're at it for two hours a week. I've always looked to the heavens, waiting for some spacecraft to retrieve me from a universal travel mistake. I should've been on Neptune or in another distant solar system.

In 6th grade, I wanted to be both an astonomer and an Egyptologist. Always up for an adventure in understanding our place in the cosmos while reaching back in the past for further knowledge on our ancestors. The Egyptians built the pyramids with such precision for their time, not to mention aligning them with Orion's belt. The stuff of Seekers!

Seekers are what I've come to call individuals who look towards the heavens for the truth that is surely out there. They constantly question (what if?) and do hours of research for their own pleasure. I am a Seeker. My thirst for knowledge flits from one subject to the next. Some times I exhaust myself finding the answer, but if it is there to be known I will find it.

Yummy impressed me with his own findings and how he related them to me. He echoed what two astrologers had said about my chart. The whole thing was a little unnerving at times. I will not include details since even that is private for me. Only less than a handful have seen the snapshot of the sky at the time of my birth. With the correct information, the planets and sun/moon cannot hide your personality, your predispositions or even a possible outcome. They only play peek-a-boo around the astrological wheel.

I did ask him to do a comparison with his to mine. I hadn't run his and ours through an astrological program I purchased for my PC. He was probably a little spooked when he found out that I have such a thing. AGOL and her chrysanthemum layers keep revealing themselves. His findings were revealing, too! It's all good whatever they are. A chart only gives you the conditions, it is up to you to work with those conditions. Very intuitive that Yummy...He worked my nerve a little. He loves that.

Oh My Stars!

Cocoon

Weekend spent caught in an enchanted chrysalis dream. Time passed like the gentle snowfall in a water globe...unhurried.

The universe has given me a gift and I am slowly unwrapping the magic contained within. One snag, it requires special keys to open each lock and it requires being delivered personally to be fully received. I have to valiantly look within and around me to find each key. They are closer than I think and some hidden in plain sight. Frustrations will arise along with yearning relief after each lock is undone. My search continues since I've found at least two keys.

Knowledge and Willingness for the gift are already used. Three more keys, I think. Understanding, Patience and True Divinity of the gift are left to find. Their golden glint is lost among the brass. Wish me luck in finding the gold keys. I am not alone in the adventure; Yummy is with me along the way. He is afterall co-recipient of the treasured gift.

Just remember -- Miles with smiles, honey!

Cocoon

Day-O...Thursday Come and I Wanna Go Home

Harry Belafonte was being channeled in my mind the last two days and my cube farm has been working my nerve! There are only so many feng shui cures I can apply at work before the telltale signs of too many pieces of aluminum foil with reflective side facing the bad juju vibes (co-workers) start to peek from under hanging frames and through file cabinets in my area. My energy is all wonky because of the bad funk shui.

I thought yesterday was today. The day became a whole Maalox moment when I realized that it was only Wednesday. Not pretty at all. Anticipating my afternoon meeting with my new department and actually having it was stressful, too. That meeting was followed by a one-on-one meeting with my new boss to set expectations: His vs. Mine. We concur on everything so it was all good. When I finally got home I crashed to bed early...

The monitor clock taunted me again today. I swear it was doing it on purpose! Mean thing. I should try to change the time, but it will reset itself when it syncs with the network so that is pointless.

My birthday is coming up next week. I can tell by the crows feet that are slowly making their imprints. Laugh lines, my ass. Just kidding -- I barely have any lines. I'm just hoping not to suffer from the Asian Woman Aging Curse. The curse that seemingly endless youth is bestowed upon Asian women..and then one day POW! Short white hair, slower shuffle walking and an overall driftwood look overcomes the poor unsuspecting woman. I am half German so goddess knows what the hell I am going to get. Let's not go there!

I've also been trying to juggle multiple birthday dinner plans to satisfy everyone who wants to see me. Last year, I gave three surprise birthday parties. The first one was for Tawnyia whose birthday is one day before mine. That was wicked fun at my favorite restaurant, Maggiano's -- yes, I worked it in. Everyone loves my restaurant, too! They just may not like Sinatra being piped during the whole experience. (A few cocktails took care of that.) I kind of miss no longer having to deal with the Reservations Nazi who was a cross between Dame Edna and Joan Rivers. Maybe I can campaign to rehire her? (Shuddering)

Better go back and practice some calypso. I have a feeling Harry will be singing again tomorrow. He should just bring the banana boat and my cool group will hop in and sail into the sunset while enjoying some serious rum. Now we're talking!

Day-O...Thursday Come and I Wanna Go Home

Whining in the Rain

It was not a glorious feeling, but I am working again after a two-week vacation. I may be exaggerating when I say it seemed like one of the longest days ever! Of course, it didn't help that I came in an hour and twenty minutes earlier than I normally do to catch up on work and to avoid driving in the rain during heavy traffic. The bottom right hand side of my LCD monitor at work taunted me..8:05...9:15...10:23...11:15. I finally escaped to lunch at 11:30 and left for the day at 5:05.

Today was the first day under the Finance Department umbrella (instead of IT) and with my new boss. He's a very nice man and I'd already developed a rapport with him weeks before this change so we do talk about both shop and our lives outside of work. Our CEO made a quick executive decision to move my section after my new boss' Sr. VP made her case to him last month. Now we have to ramp up our department since we've severed our accounting ties with our old company. Corporate buy-outs are always fun -- long live Capitalism! At least there is the further illusion of job security - HA!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...It was nice to be missed by many, but I felt guilty for all my visitors stopping by multiple times to wish me a Happy New Year and to catch up on things. My new boss sits behind me right now until they can arrange an office for him. He understands but I know I have to severely curtail people's time with me in the future without hurting their feelings. Some of them use me as a gauge to see how they should feel about the world; needless to say, I am usually effervescent so everyone has a good time.

Back to my homemade hot chocolate that I wish I was sharing with Yummy. 'Night-night.

Whining in the Rain

New Chapters

My New Year’s Day pilgrimage to the nearest bookstore continued today. It has been at least seven years since I have made this a tradition of sorts. Where else can you go and imagine yourself receiving through osmosis the world’s wisdom contained in one place for the new year? I’ve had a very long love affair with bookstores. Luckily, I don’t feel remorse if I switch locations or favorites...luckily.

As a young girl in the Philippines, we would go to the bookstore for class materials. The books needed for grammar school were not supplied like they do in the United States. The school gives you a list of books, you buy the paperbacks and then enshroud them with thick clear industrial smelling plastic to protect them from the elements. That is probably the genesis of my peculiar obsession with keeping books pristine. My close friends know that my books with spines unbent are treasures. A perverse obsession branching from this is my need to pick a magazine from the middle of the stack because it is pristine and no other energy has stained it, but the people who published it, individuals who transported it and the person who shelved it. What is more perverse is that I have to be the one to read my purchase first. God help you if you help yourself to them first. My list of proclivities is long and varied...

A beat of excitement rose to a slow crescendo as I drove to the Borders Bookstore on N. Dale Mabry in Trampa. It flat lined into a steady seductive hum when I entered the double doors. What an intoxicating drug these books that lined the shelves, a feast for the eyes and the mind. It’s barely tolerable, but I persevere inside.

Fiction says hello first, a naughty wink from gay fiction, followed by nods in non-fiction and literature. I must remember to get Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking. African-American studies follow which makes me ponder something. If the author is British or hail from the African continent, are they still shelved under ‘African-American’? Just a thought.

My journey continues to European (or as Yummy says “yurp”) and Chinese studies. I am drawn to things of Chinese origin; must be my own smidge of blood origin. Have you seen my Asiatic eyes? Moving on…We get to my controversial section. Religious Studies. If the words would write themselves, they would have a tinge of crimson…Nice Goddess now coming through Evil Kitty.

After I lovingly touch some of the Judaica section, I search for the Lamsa Bible which is a direct translation by Dr. George Lamsa from the Aramaic version of the Peshitta where all Christian bibles originate. No one corrupting the translation because they wanted to flavor it with their own view (King James anyone?) or that they didn’t know the Aramaic letters, customs or colloquialisms that made it hard to translate into Greek or Latin. Enough on that – I was happy they had one copy.

I turned the corner and secretly chuckled. It was the shelves containing Erotica. How apropos that religion would be supported by erotica or is that the reverse if you are traveling the opposite direction in the bookstore? I noted a book by Dr. Deepak Chopra entitled Kama Sutra, published by none other than Virgin Books. God, I love the universal humor! It just gets better by being surrounded in the same section with Self-Help and Metaphysics. I’m sure you will not be surprised when I tell you that this big chunk of section is my favorite…religion, erotica, self-help and metaphysics…AGOL salad!

I digress…I normally make a pass at the Reference and Foreign Language section, but that is like asking a recovering cocaine addict to pass the cocaine. Skip! Business section..yawn, maybe later. Travel section…see previous cocaine reference. Cooking section…double cocaine reference. Music...triple cocaine reference. DVDs…safe, mostly until we get to the bookstore’s legalized mental opium den…Magazine and Periodicals….oh God. A siren’s call beckoning you to just test the water...inch by inch until you voluntarily drown in the sea of glossy lollipop colors.

Inwardly sigh…Surface quickly and just breathe.

My sensitivity to the written word wasn’t always this heightened. It was thanks to Angie who gave an 11-year old a Harlequin romance to read. I had trouble with reading comprehension in American English when I came to the States. My teachers considered me a favorite to read out loud, but I couldn’t tell you later the contents of what I had read so Angie decided to help me out when my school book reports didn’t get high marks. There is more to tell here, but some things are just better left untold.

What did I come away with from my special pilgrimage other than a large cup of coffee and a cranberry-walnut muffin? No set resolutions per se, but determined intentions. I also bought glossy lollipops -- issues of “Science of Mind” and “The Atlantic”…and for mental bubblegum, “InStyle”. Wink.

New Chapters